ASK UK-based author Gladys Famoriyo about "emotional baggage" and she'll explain how this prevents many women from having the "abundant life" - one where they're able to live richly and fully with every fibre of their being.

She'll point to her book Overcoming Emotional Baggage: A Woman's Guide To Living The Abundant Life and its many tenets, as an inspiring, practical guide that helps women eliminate emotional clutter - freeing them to live fulfilled, purposeful and successful lives. "Simply put," she says, "It helps women live their best lives".

Famoriyo is the recent recipient of an award from the European Federation of Black Women Business Owners (Professional Category, 2006) for her contributions in developing and training women over the past decade through seminars, programmes, articles, organisations and humanitarian work. She was also the recipient of the International Women's Day Award (2007) in recognition of her work as a business owner, author, speaker and coach.

Famoriyo was in the Caribbean - Cayman Islands, Barbados, Bahamas, Bermuda, Trinidad and Jamaica - recently to promote the book - available in major book stores - and the work she does with women.
And at the end of her stay in Montego Bay, she had left in her wake the opportunity to gain emotional wholeness, with "an inspiring, practical guide" that should see women eliminating emotional clutter and pursuing "truly authentic lives".

all woman: How do you think Caribbean women and in particular Jamaicans can benefit from your book?

Gladys Famoriyo: My book has been written for all women. Regardless of where you go on God's earth, you will always find women hurting and/or who are carrying some form of pain from the past or current experiences. These include women in leadership (political, religious, business, etc), business owners, professionals, students, mothers, and so much more. They come from different backgrounds and upbringings. They are single, married, divorced or widowed. The problem is that many of us keep forging ahead despite the mess we carry around with us, consciously or not. And yet we wonder why we don't feel right on the inside. We wonder why we don't achieve what we want to achieve. We are even baffled as to why the same patterns and symptoms keep reoccurring in our lives.

The book challenges the reader to seek answers to the emotional symptoms in their lives. It helps women identify and confront their issues. I believe that the book provides a message of hope for women of the Caribbean regardless of their journeys in life or where they may find themselves today. It's a simple yet powerful book that can change women's lives - allowing them to get on track to emotional wholeness.

aw: How important is it for women to live 'the abundant life'? Define the abundant life.
GF: I believe we are all called to live an abundant life. I define the abundant life as being able to live a rich and full life in every facet of your life. I don't believe that abundance is limited to only one facet of your life like your finances or career. I strongly believe that you can have abundance in all areas of your life including your spirit, soul (mind, will and emotions), body, relationships, business, career and so much more. Unfortunately, we live in a world that tends to focus on certain parts of our beings - our appearance, success - at the detriment of other pertinent parts of our lives. By doing this, we end up being lopsided as some parts of us get more attention than others - certain parts of us become malnourished. I help people regain that balance by seeking to excel in all facets of their lives.

aw: The importance of emotional baggage is often understated in its importance in overall health. How important is it for women to recognise, deal with, and overcome emotional baggage in order to be better women?
GF: Unfortunately, many of us encounter perturbing and/or challenging life experiences and situations that have the potential to affect us. And when we fail to deal with these effectively, due to ignorance, denial or the like, we end up amassing emotional baggage.

Whilst working with women over the years, I discovered that many women's potentials were being limited, stifled, hindered by what we later discovered to be the emotional baggage they were carrying with them. Many fell short of living the abundant life in many areas of their lives.

I fervently believe that there is a strong correlation between our abilities, effectiveness or success and the emotional baggage we carry around. Time and time again, I have seen it sabotage the efforts of business owners, kill powerful dreams, paralyse high performers, turn leaders into tyrants, render parents ineffective and destroy relationships. I have seen it in my own life too. And so when we fail to deal with our 'mess' it ends up nullifying our efforts - akin to pouring water into a cracked cup. The cup never gets filled until the cracks are fixed.

To cope with the excess baggage they carry around, many women resort to addictive behaviours around food, money, alcohol, sex or drugs. Their emotional baggage spills into other areas of their lives and starts to affect their relationships, health, weight and finances. And so, their emotional baggage starts to affect their attitudes and beliefs, which then drive their behaviours.
After seeing these patterns time and time again including in my life, I felt inspired to write a practical guide to support women (in particular) eliminate their emotional clutter and get on track to living what I term the abundant life, which is a richness in every aspect of one's life. It's high time we dealt with this silent plague that robs women of living their best life.

aw: What kind of work do you do with women?
GF: In short, I empower and inspire women to maximise their potentials and live purposeful, successful and fulfilled lives. I do this mainly through writing, speaking, coaching, and mentoring. I run several training workshops and seminars based on the material I create.

I also run a number of organisations/initiatives. My main organisation is called Success Partners Ltd and it is an award-winning training and development organisation that creates pioneering services and products that include books, audios, and services such as speaking and coaching. I run a non-profit organisation called, Professional Christian Women, which is aimed at empowering, enlightening and encouraging women to becoming successful and purposeful based on Christian biblical principles, strategies and truths. Over the years, we have seen many success stories of women excelling beyond their dreams.
We are also launching our global initiative, Overcoming Emotional Baggage TM following the book, to create specific programmes, resources and tools for individuals, groups and organisations. Our global vision is to create a world full of emotionally healthy individuals who can be effective citizens in their communities.

aw: Was this always what you wanted to do? At what point in your life did you make the transition into wanting to help women?
GF: My first degree is in Biochemistry. I also have a Master's degree in IT. I found my previous careers very unfulfilling. I have always had a passion to help people, especially women. And so, to get some sense of personal satisfaction, I started writing inspiring articles for international women's magazines as well as my online eZine eWoman, which thousands of women receive each month from my website. By writing, I was able to share the insights and learnings I had picked up in this journey called 'life'. Personally, I also found writing so rewarding because you just don't know how many lives would be transformed or inspired. It's like trying to figure out how many oranges you will get from planting a single orange tree - 30, 60 or 100 fold increase? Who can tell?

The more I wrote, the more women sought me out to coach, train, mentor or develop them. In addition to this, I was running training workshops/seminars and started getting invites to speak to women at events or in organisations. It soon became obvious what gave me a sense of fulfilment, joy and purpose. And so over time, I converted my passion into my full-time job. During this time, I had qualified as a professional coach. And I guess it has simply grown from there.

aw: What makes your book/advice different from the wealth of information out there encouraging women to connect with their 'inner selves'?

GF: I believe my book is a valuable resource for women as it challenges the reader to confront their own emotional baggage (ie, unresolved issues, self-defeating/unhealthy attitudes, beliefs and behaviours). I wrote it in a coaching style and it includes exercises and questions to make the reader stop and think.
Secondly, the book supports women to proactively develop their inner beings and gives them the opportunity to rid themselves of the emotional clutter that holds them back. I have also chosen to base the book on biblical Christian principles which I consider eternal and proven truths.

The good thing about the book is that not only does it highlight the issues, but it uses a number of powerful concepts, principles, practical strategies, insightful statements, helpful tips and much more to help the reader get on track to ditching their emotional baggage. I share both from my personal and professional experience, the damaging effects of emotional baggage in the lives of women. I believe doing this allows readers to identify with certain emotional symptoms and helps them recognise where they are at. Women from all backgrounds and walks of life will glean a lot from the book.

aw: What advice do you have for Caribbean women?

GF: Here are three simple yet powerful statements that I will like you to embrace.
1. Greatness lies within you: It matters not what your background, education, status, race, your past or even your current situation is. Accept the fact that you are unique, special and valuable. In fact, I dare to call you a princess. Because that's what you are. So start acting that way.

2. You have a purpose: Princesses have royal duties to perform, be it great or small. So find out what yours is and get on with it. Use the unique gifts that have been deposited in you to make a difference in your life and those around you.
3. Get rid of your emotional baggage: Identify and deal effectively with any emotional baggage you may have amassed along the way. Your emotional baggage could be unresolved issues of the past or present (a broken relationship, abuse, childhood issues, etc). Don't fall into the trap of assuming that because you appear to be doing well, means all is well on the inside. Confront the condition deal with it, as your emotional baggage will, sooner or later, catch up with you and start meddling with your life.

aw:. Do you have ties to the Caribbean?
GF: I write for She Caribbean. I also write my own free inspiring monthly eZine, called eWoman and blogs - www.Gladysf.com - that women worldwide subscribe to. My subscribers and readers include women in the Caribbean.

aw: Where will the next few years take you?
GF: Over the next few years, my aim is to continue the work that I do with women through more books, seminars, and conferences worldwide. My aim is to reach out to even more women. I am also looking forward to coming back to the Caribbean to do more work here.

-clarkep@jamaicaobserver.com

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