THEY say it takes a lifetime to truly know somebody, and it's usually advised that before you get deeply involved, you should find out as much about the other person as you can.

This is sometimes hard in a fast-paced world, where things like male unavailability overshadow the little things (like hygiene) that really matter. And then you end up married to someone with a chronic groin-scratching habit that won't go away.

Fact is, you don't have to date a man for a year to get the truth about who he really is. If you're perceptive, you can size him up in the first 10 minutes of meeting him and can save yourself the heartache of those long 'but this is who I really am' fights.
This week we will help you with some tips that should help in your search to decide whether he's worth the extra 25 minutes, or worth a good blow-off.
In 10 minutes you can learn:

1. His personal hygiene habits - Just look at the state of his fingernails or his teeth to know how much he cares about himself. Gingivitis doesn't go well with French kissing after all.

2. His language skills - Is he the type you can take to a family Christmas dinner? Is f--- every other word? Watch that language, and imagine the look on Aunt Irma's face when he speaks.

3. If he's a smoker - Again, look at his hands, specifically his fingertips, his lips and teeth for signs of smoking. A smoker's fingertips and lips are dark and hardened and his teeth are stained. Also look for bloodshot eyes for signs of alcohol abuse.

4. His rage factor - Driving with him? Watch how he relates to other drivers on the road and how he drives. A patient man will put in a CD and chill. A raving lunatic bad drives others and curses plenty.

5. How clean he is - Take a look inside his car, or if you can handle it, take a whiff of him to guage his cleanliness factor. Sweat? That's OK. Sweat mixed with BO mixed with cologne? Red flag. Seems like he lives in his car? Take a hint from that - he WILL leave dirty clothes on your floor. Car squeaky, squeaky clean? You may have an anal-retentive fellow on your hands.

6. His grooming habits - Take a look at those eyebrows and that hair. Waxed eyebrows and gelled-up hair screams warnings about a man who you will have to compete with for mirror time.

7. How trustworthy he is - Look for eye contact. If he refuses contact you may not be able to trust him. If he tries to stare you down, he may be too controlling.

8. The kind of lover he is - Look for fluidity in his movements. Does he move like he's slow dancing? He may be a patient lover. Is he always rushed? He may be the slam-bam type. Does it seem like everything requires tons of effort? He may be too lazy to do much to please you.

9. His spending habits - This one's easy. Look at his car and cellphone choice and compare them to what you know of his take-home pay. Is brother driving a 2007 Honda and sporting a Blackberry on a bank teller's salary? That's a hint that he's a bit of a heavy and not-so-conscientuous spender, and won't be a happy contributor to your children's college fund.

10. His personal style - Heavily into guys that match? Take a look-see at whether he's doing something like wearing tennis socks with loafers or a muscle shirt with a suit. There are some fashion no-nos that you may be able to deal with and some men who are willing to change. But a man stuck on green Polyester pants will not fit in when you want to make a good impression at a family wedding.

-PC

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