'Where are you coming from?' Don't say @%$#, say this instead...

Jacqueline Champier

Monday, February 20, 2012

ONE argument leads to another and another, and it takes two to have an argument. Therefore, couples need to be careful of what they say to each other when there is a disagreement. It still holds true that a soft answer turns away wrath as words can really cause some deep wounds.

Here are some right ways and wrong ways to answer the questions that are sure to come from your other half.

Question: Where are you going now?

Wrong answer: I am my own big person.

Right answer: I'm going to ______ with _______.

Question: Where are you coming from?

Wrong answer: It's none of your business.

Right answer: I was at ________ with _____.

Question: Who is calling your phone?

Wrong answer: A friend.

Right answer: My friend _____.

Question: Who were you talking with?

Wrong answer: It's personal.

Right answer: My friend _____.

Question: Do you love me?

Wrong answer: If I did not love you, I would not have married you.

Right answer: Yes!

Question: Who gave you that thing?

Wrong answer: Why do you want to know that?

Right answer: My friend _____.

Question: How do I look in this outfit?

Wrong answer: Not bad

Right answer: You look great!

Question: How much did you pay for that?

Wrong answer: None of your business.

Right answer: I paid quite a lot for it

Question: What time did you get home?

Wrong answer: I do not recall.

Right answer: ____o'clock.

Good communication is vital to a relationship. So as you exchange words let them be like "apples of gold in pitchers of silver". Answering honestly and without bristling will eliminate suspicions and will enhance communication in the relationship. Also, ensure that you communicate your plans and your thoughts often, so your spouse will not feel bad for asking simple questions.

Jacqueline Champier is a counselling psychologist from Mandeville.