All Woman

12 things never to say to a man, ever

By SIMONE MORGAN All Woman writer

Monday, June 20, 2011    

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NO matter how big he claims his ego is, one negative comment from you can have your guy crying for his mama. There are some things men can't handle — some criticisms or even truths that when uttered, could wean them off you for life.

Here are 12 things never to say to your guy, even if it means the alternative is lying through your teeth to keep him happy.

1 I'd die without you, really.

Never, ever say those five little words to a man as it only screams desperation or low self-esteem on your part. Men love women who are confident and who do not rely on them to achieve happiness. It is important for a couple to help fulfil each other's needs, but ladies, never depend on a man to make you whole and complete you — at least, even if you do, don't make him any the wiser.

2 Don't worry, it will grow eventually.

No it won't, and he knows it, so do you. Never comment on the length or girth of his member, dub it 'cute' or 'just right' especially if it's woefully inadequate. Never, ever use it as ammunition in a fight, or as a comedy break during nights out with your girlfriends. Instead, if you love him, try to find innovative ways to work with what he's got, or ship yourself out of the relationship.

3 So you don't think it's time to marry me?

Never pressure your guy into marriage. Some guys suffer from commitment phobia so urging them to tie the knot will just push them out the door. If he starts discussing plans about the future and introduces you to his family or friends, chances are you will be making your way down the aisle soon, so there is no need to pressure him.

4 Come sit dear, we need to talk.

Those words can choke off a man's oxygen, as whenever a man hears 'talk', his brain suddenly goes into overdrive. He wonders if you found out he cheated; if you found out he lied; he starts finding excuses, and his brain can't handle the pressure. There are other ways to approach a burning conversation. Try to get him into his comfort zone and then rub his head or massage his shoulders while you raise your issue.

5 I've only been with seven guys.

Unless he specifically requested a virgin bride, there's no need to discuss past partners, ever. There's also no need to come clean on the number, no matter how much he begs. That secret is between you and God, because trust us, he'll be going over the information in his mind and forming his own opinion of you based on whatever standards he's been taught — and some men have some pretty warped standards about acceptable female behaviour!

6 My ex was a better lover, all my exes in fact (and roll your eyes).

Ladies, even if his bedroom action is way below your standards, even if you're dying inside out of boredom, even if you're thinking of remaining celibate after the experience with him, don't compare him to your ex. Doing this will crush his ego, and will ruin him for other women -- if he's even able to approach another woman after you, that is. You don't want to leave yourself frustrated, but you can teach him how to love you and show him where to touch instead of launching into critique mode.

7 Shop lock down tonight.

Women sometimes take great pleasure in doing this when there is an argument or simply when their demands are not met. Ladies, have a little mercy on your other half and do not deny him his sexual privileges as you may just push him into the arms and bedroom of another woman.

8 So boss, where is this relationship going?

Whether you have been in a relationship for years or have just been on several dates, never nag him about where the relationship is heading. If there is a future for both of you, you will definitely know by his actions.

9 I cheated on my ex

Never confess to having been unfaithful in the past. Keep that much to yourself, after all, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. If he believes you were skilful enough to creep around on your ex, he'll wonder if you're doing the same thing to him. Make a vow never to be unfaithful again and just keep the past in the darkest part of your closet.

10 So how yuh gonna mind me on that little pittance yuh earning?

Give him his due and never criticise how small his financial contribution is towards the household. This often happens when a woman is the main provider in the family. He may not show it but his spirit and self-esteem is lowered each time he is criticised as he already knows he may not be playing a suitable role of being the breadwinner of the family.

11 Your mother is a super beyotch.

Even though she may be the mother-in-law from hell never tell your spouse how much you hate his mom. This will only make him uncomfortable and resent you for not liking the woman who brought him into this world. This also goes for his friends and siblings as well. While you may not be fond of someone he holds dear to his heart, try your hardest to be diplomatic in your relationship, and at least, polite. After all, the thoughts of his in-laws may give him chills he is modest enough not remind you of daily.

12 After two dates: "We're soulmates".

Telling him that you are in love with him too early in the relationship may push him away. Take the time out to observe your guy's qualities. Love isn't a feeling you feel overnight. And allow him to say it first! That way you'll really know you're loved, rather than wondering if he only said it because you said it first.

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