All Woman

8 signs you're on the rebound

Nadine Wilson

Monday, August 06, 2012    

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They say time heals all wounds, but some wounds take much longer to heal than others.

The pain of losing a relationship is one of those things that is particularly difficult to handle, and the medicine of choice is often to rush into a relationship with someone else.

But before you hook up with the first guy who comes along, take some time to really get over your ex. Failure to do so could mean trouble for the next relationship you enter into.

"Don't be in a hurry to start another relationship. Rebound relationships can be dangerous, as in your vulnerable state a 'predator' will take advantage of your weak emotional state," warns relationship counsellor Wayne Powell.

"If you are just coming out of a failed relationship and you're going through the grieving process, it's recommended that you spend some time to bring closure to that relationship before starting a new one. Remember, during this time you are very vulnerable and not in a strong emotional state to make a rational decision," he said.

If you know you are not quite ready for a new relationship, it's okay to just be upfront with your current boyfriend and ask for some time.

Here are some of the signs that might be on the rebound:

1. You fantasise about getting back with your ex.

You basically stalk him to find out what he's up to, who is the new girl in his life and cling to every photograph you have of him.

2. You hook with the first guy to show interest in you.

You don't even know what attracted you to your current boyfriend. In fact, he is the total opposite of what you would have looked for prior to your break-up with your ex. To be frank, the only thing you like about him is the fact that he provides you with a warm body.

3. Your friends say you're moving too fast.

If your friends do a double-take when you tell them you're dating again, it could probably be because they feel you are moving too fast. They would be a better judge of when you are ready to move on, since they can see the bigger picture clearer than you, whose vision is still blurred by images of you and your ex-boyfriend.

4. You are only in your current relationship for sex.

The sex is off the chain between you and your current boyfriend, but to be frank, you really can't see the relationship going much further than where you're at. While you have no problem with the physical aspects of the relationship, you shun any opportunity that would make you connect on a more emotional level. There are no talks about your future together and instead of being completely honest with him about issues in your relationship, you keep your feelings to yourself.

5. You suffer from extreme mood swings.

You find that you are miserable when you are alone and you are still unhappy even though you have found someone new. You don't want to talk to friends and family because you don't want to be reminded of all the plans you had made with your ex-boyfriend, especially if you guys were engaged at the time of your break-up. Life doesn't really have as much meaning as it used to and you are just basically going with the flow.

6. You are dating multiple guys.

You have basically given up on the idea of finding true love with a Mr Right, so you have no problem playing the field, so to speak. You don't care about the fact that you are stringing these guys along because, as far as you are concerned, you are justified -- given the hurt you were made to feel resulting from your break-up.

7. You rush into marriage.

You are eager for the next guy you meet to propose to you within just a few months of dating. For you, marriage is sort of a guarantee that he won't easily walk out on you. You also want to ensure that you at least achieve that dream of walking down the aisle before reality sets in that you guys are not a perfect match.

8. You talk about your ex a lot with your new partner.

You compare your ex with your new boyfriend every chance you get. You also tend to reminisce on the relationship a lot when you are with friends and family.





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