Are you dating a psycho?

Ask Asafa

Monday, March 25, 2013

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I had an experience recently that led me to ask, 'am I dating a psycho?'

So how do you know you've been dating a not-so-stable person? There are times when it all seems to be going well, and then before you know it, you're staring into the eyes of a psycho.

Below is a list of signs I've come up with for you to look out for. Please note that this is not just in relation to women. Ladies, this is applicable to men as well.

1. Controlling. The person tries to dominate your every thought and move. You are constantly on guard because you're no longer sure what is what. They have to manipulate the situation to their benefit and it inevitably leads to an argument.

2. Jealousy. The person is jealous of everything and everyone in your life, down to your dog. He/she gets upset even when you've gone to spend time with your family. You've put your phone on silent permanently just so that you can have some form of peace. You've also had to put a password on your password, because he/she has gone through your phone or attempted to go through your phone on a number of occasions.

3. Paranoid. This is directly tied to number two. Every call you get, they deduce that it's somebody you're sleeping with (this is all in their mind). If you don't answer their call right away, you're automatically cheating. They question every thing you've told them and you find yourself having to "prove" that you've told the truth.

4. Stalker syndrome. They have appeared at your home unexpectedly -- like you're approaching your gate and they're outside waiting on you. This also applies to work or a specific event you're attending. They also call, BB, text, and Whatsapp over and over -- messages and calls flying in on rapid. They will also call from other numbers or block their number if you do not answer their initial calls.

5. Suicidal. I am not talking Sean Kingston style here -- I'm talking when they threaten to kill themselves (or for women a man will threaten to kill you or any man you date). This tends to escalate if they feel you're dating someone. They need to destroy any chance that you're happy or moving on.

6. Flock your friends. They suddenly start calling and messaging your close friends and family. They try to get them to talk to you on their behalf or they try and pry information out of them -- mainly whether you are dating other people or where you're going to be.

7. Saran wrap. They are on you night and day. They're clingy and have low self-esteem, and are constantly in need of reassurance. They want to hear that they are the only persons that matter in your life, and in fact, try to make it appear that way.

8. Lies and more lies. They lie about any and everything. Small or big they lie about it and for no reason, they just can't help themselves. Every minute the story changes.

9. Jekyll & Hyde. The way they act when your friends or family are around is always sweet and nice. They try to get everyone to fall in love with them but as soon as they are alone with you they start picking apart everything about your friends/family.

Follow Asafa on Twitter @officialasafa, visit his website at or catch him at asafapowell. E-mail him at

To our readers:

Asafa will be in Australia up to April 8. He will resume columns on April 15.




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