All Woman

Big penis, small penis and other sex troubles

BY DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE All Woman Writer

Monday, April 28, 2014    

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While it is difficult for many to admit, many people suffer from one sexual problem or another.

So severe is the situation mentally, emotionally or physically that sex is sometimes not always enjoyed. Believe it or not you may know someone who, after years of being sexually active, does not know what an orgasm feels like even.

This week, Dr Alverston Bailey, author of the book Sexplanations: A guide to discussing sex and sexuality in the Caribbean, shares coping skills on how to deal with various sexual problems.

"Sometimes, despite the intensity of the passion and the depth of the arousal, many women find sex quite challenging due to either emotional or physical obstacles," Dr Bailey said. "Many sexually active women become quite frustrated when the anticipated pleasure is not realised or is replaced by pain or disappoint."

Some of the problems women experienced during sex are:

1. A large penis

There are a number of women who have a partners with very large penises. This can become a challenge. The average penis size is five to seven inches long in its erect state. According to Dr Bailey, a family and occupational physician, about 10 per cent of men fall below or above this range.

"If your partner is larger than average, sex can be uncomfortable or painful," Dr Bailey said. But you can still enjoy it if you follow these guidelines:

i. Extend your foreplay to enhance your arousal

ii. Use lubrication such as Astroglide or KY jelly

iii. Approach insertion gently

iv. Avoid retro-copulation (doggy style) sex since this shortens the vagina and could result in discomfort.

v. Try being on top during intercourse

vi. Encourage your partner to be gentle

2. A small penis

A number of women — and men — are of the opinion that sex cannot be enjoyed if the man has a small penis. This Dr Bailey said is not so.

"Sex can be gratifying," he said. "The best position for small penis is from behind (retro-copulation) as this allows your partner maximal penetration. A reasonable alternative is the sitting position."

He also suggests that the man take a warm shower before intercourse as this enhances his turgidity.

3. The impotent man

"Nowadays there are many treatment options for men with erectile dysfunction (ED)," Dr Bailey said. "Don't be overly critical of him, but gently encourage him to seek help so that the cause of ED can be identified and appropriate treatment given."

Available treatment options include phosphodiesterase inhibitors drugs which increase blood flow to the penis after adequate stimulation; the vacuum pump which creates suction and promotes engorgement of his member; intra-cavernosal injection, which is a technique in which a special medicine is injected into the shaft of the penis causing it to become erect; penile implants, a surgical insertion of inflatable implants into the penis; among others.

Dr Bailey noted, however: "It is interesting to note that a man can have an orgasm even without an erection."

4. The premature ejaculator

Dr Bailey said this is very common in young men, but it can be overcome in a number of ways. Some of these ways include avoiding the male-dominant sexual positions, using the squeeze method, and applying local anaesthetics to his glands.

"Try the squeeze method by asking him to tell you when he is about to lose control then let him withdraw and squeeze the shaft of the penis firmly," Dr Bailey suggested. "When his sexual tension subsides let him continue. Repeat this as often as possible."

He explained that the local anaesthetics will desensitise the head of the penis and increase his prowess, especially if used with a condom.

5. Painful sex

Painful sex affects about 15 per cent of sexually active women.

"Because of anatomical differences, women are more prone to experiencing pain than men. In my practice, painful intercourse is the second most prevalent sexual disorder that I treat," Dr Bailey said. "Many women suffer silently due to fear of rejection or offending their partner."

Painful sex or dyspareunia is either psychological or physical.

Psychological causes include deep underlying sexual phobias, strong religious hang-ups about sex, a past history of sexual abuse, etc. Physical causes include infection or irritation of the external genitalia, vigorous or rough sex, endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, uterine prolapsed, fibroids, ovarian cyst, etc.

Counselling or sex therapy might be necessary for those afflicted with psychological dyspareunia, while medication may correct the physical causes.

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