AT 28, many young men are so busy doing the rounds when it comes to women that they don't spare the time to actually get to know the people they are courting. But for Christopher Lai, studying women and the approach men should take when wooing them has led to his penning his first e-book, The Lai Detector: Innovative methods on how to approach a lady...
Lai is as an economist who also coaches football at Real Mona Football Club, and to a lesser extent Calabar High School, where he is a past student.
But while he is not a trained psychologist or counsellor, Lai said he is so socialised that he knows the right techniques required when approaching women.
And like Steve Harvey in his cult classic Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Lai is impressing readers, who on Amazon have called the book "funny", "creative", and a very analytical, engaging "must read".
"I socialise a lot so I have heard many conversations when we were playing dominoes, at sports events or hanging out," Lai said. "And of course a lot of times we talk about what's the best approach when it comes to women. And over the years I found that I became very good at approaching women and then it became like a kind of advice type of thing," he said.
"A lot of guys are very good looking, very eloquent, yet they find it very difficult to approach women. And so I used my experiences and tabled it in a book that could be a useful guide to men."
Lai said he has had successes whether acting as the wingman in introducing his friends to women, or in his personal pursuits.
"A boy becomes a man when he finds a companion who will invest in his potential, support him unconditionally, stimulate his intellectual capacity, engage his passions..." Lai wrote.
"The desire to find a good woman should be his credo, and he must have the acumen to realise it when she is in his presence. However, identifying her is one thing, interacting with her is a whole new ball game."
His decision to write the book also came about after realising that of three blogs he was writing about sports, economics and women, the one about women received the most feedback.
Despite his expertise in approaching women, Lai quickly admitted that he is not a player and has been in a stable relationship since January 2011.
"In my case, and generally speaking, one of the things is that you go to bed feeling that much more relieved, you wake up in the morning and you are excited about seeing her. It's not too much of a strain or stress. You enjoy spending time with her -- you want to spend time with her and it becomes a good part of your life. And sex is so unimportant when you compare it to the bigger things like personality and fun, because after a while you realise that there are other things that matter."
In fact, he believes approaching a woman should not be seen as a game.
"Approaching a woman is not a game and should never be treated as such," he said. "So the book is really giving insight that you may find useful and even if you don't take it word for word, at least you have a general idea of what is expected or what you can do."
Lai said a lot of guys have a similar pattern when approaching women, and so they 'flop'.
"Of course, the hope is that a guy who never really approached a lady in his life, or maybe he was turned down at a younger age, or whatever reason... [can use my] experience, and what I have seen and what I have said ... and go on to have meaningful relationships. People who have read the book have written to me and I spend a lot of my nights now talking to people via whatever means about relationship issues."
But despite coming into the role of relationship adviser, Lai said it is not something he intends to pursue professionally.
"I like the option to say I don't know if I don't know and I don't think a counsellor has that option," he said.
The book was made available in the Amazon Kindle store in July.
Lai studied economics at Jacksonville University in Florida. He's currently brainstorming for his second book — on sports.