All Woman

Divorce stories

By DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE

Monday, May 12, 2014    

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UNFORTUNATELY, not all marriages last forever after: some couples decide to go their separate ways for one reason or another. A few realise early that it won't last, others battle it out for several years, and then decide to call it quits.

"My only experience of sex was when I was raped at 17. He knew this. Yet that night he jumped on me, did his thing, jumped off, rolled over and went to sleep," said 43-year-old Andrene J who knew from the very honeymoon night that her marriage wouldn't last.

"It was over in less than a minute. From that moment I knew he was selfish."

Five and a half years later they were separated, two years afterwards they were divorced.

All Woman spoke to a number of divorcees who disclosed some shocking confessions about their former unions.

"I couldn't stand her family" Howard H, marriage lasted 22 years:

From the very beginning she had a family member living at our house. Afterwards her sister moved in and started making household decisions. Before long three other family members were living with us full-time, even after we bought our own home and moved in. My wife was not working and so I was the only provider. We had a daughter together. So one day I just could not take it anymore. I gave her the ultimatum: her family or me. She chose her family. So really and truly we got divorced because of overbearing in-laws coupled with the family mentality that if you marry the cow, then you have to take the calf also. Plus it was an "arranged" marriage in the church. Read between the lines. But the truth is I was living in denial all those years. I was ashamed to speak about it. I'm a three-year divorcee.

"I caught her in bed with another man" Jamie G, marriage lasted seven years:

I came home one day and caught her in bed with another man. That is something I couldn't live with. I suspected before that she was cheating because she would be out all sorts of hours at nights. But it was when I caught her in bed that I knew I couldn't continue in it anymore. I'm a seven-year divorcee.

"Him sick mi stomach!" Janet R, marriage lasted 14 years:

I was just no longer attracted to him. Every time he tried to touch me it sick mi stomach. It was like I literally would vomit. I think it was how he treated me over the years and the way he looked 14 years into our marriage. If he took me out five times in 14 years just to have fun, it was nuff. The way I see it I was just there for washing, cooking, looking after the kids and sex. I was not a person to him. So really and truly there was nothing to love or be attracted to. I'm a four-year divorcee.

"I was ashamed of her" Cedric B, marriage lasted 13 years:

We were both Christians. She was the type who didn't process her hair, she wore long clothes and was, looking back, very old-fashioned. I got married not because we were in love but because it was expected of us. But after a while I was very ashamed to be seen in public with her and I found myself being more and more attracted to women who were the total opposite of her. I just wasn't attracted to her outside of the church setting and our sex life became non-existent after some years. We just couldn't live like that so we got a divorce five years ago.

"She threw me out" Walter W, marriage lasted five years:

I think she is the one who really wanted out of the relationship. She saw a Father's Day text from a friend at work ending with "luv u", and she took it to mean that the girl and I were involved. So she threw out my clothes and told me to go stay with me 'gyal dem'. I slept at the office for three nights then got a place. I didn't go back and a year later I filed for a divorce. That was two years ago.

"He beat me every chance he got" Marissa P, marriage lasted nine years:

I think to this day my family doesn't believe that I was the innocent party in my marriage. My husband was the sweetest person you could ever meet in public. He is a soldier and he took care of me and his son. But when he was home behind closed doors it was another story. Everything I say or do was cause for argument and then he would beat me. Well, he tried to because I would fight back as much as I could. One day he told me I was downgraded from wife to side chick. So not only was he abusive physically, but he had another woman. I just decided enough was enough. That was six years ago.

"I want her back" Alvin A, marriage lasted 11 years:

I think I loved her too much, if that is ever possible. At the time I think I was immature and insecure. She was very beautiful and attractive, and looking back I believe I was afraid of losing her. Yes, I was abusive to her and I was suspicious of everything she did. But years after we were divorced I really understood that she never got involved with anyone else while we were together. She really is a good woman. I tried twice since my divorce to get her back but she turned me down flat. I think she might even be involved by now. I'm a seven-year divorcee.

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