Does time out work?

By NADINE WILSON All Woman writer

Monday, February 08, 2010

AS cases involving the physical abuse of children mounts, some childcare practitioners are encouraging parents to use 'time outs' rather than spanking their children.

"Time out is when the parent will send the child to cool out. In the issue of time out, all rewards such as TV watching [and] playing games must be removed," explained child psychologist Dr Sandra McDermott.

Some argue that this method is a more effective form of disciplining a child since it gives them time to think and make a connection between their negative behaviour and its consequences. Time outs are also considered to be an age-specific type of punishment, which gives both child and parent time to discuss the child's behaviour and why it is inappropriate.

Time outs are usually effective when a child is two years old and above. The very nature of them being away from their other friends during play time is not considered enjoyable, hence the effectiveness of this method of punishment.

And time outs, like any other form of punishment, are considered important because they guide children away from unacceptable behaviours and into more desirable ones. It also benefits the parent as well since if forces them to take some time and cool down. This is important as some parents unintentionally abuse their children in the heat of anger.

"When you hit the child, you are defusing power from yourself to the child and you are allowing the child to control and dictate how you react. This is called negative reinforcement," said Dr McDermott, while explaining that it is not a good thing when a parent has to resort to violence to discipline a child.

Time outs, however, are not always effective at curtailing behaviours, especially if your child doesn't know the reason for their punishment in the first place.

"If the child senses that the parent is just saying words and not acting, then that can cause that [confusion]. Also when there are other underling issues in the home that the child is responding to, then the child may get more defiant," said the child psychologist.

To be sure that your child understands the reason for the punishment, it is therefore important that you ask them to explain why they think they are being punished.

How to implement a

time out

1. Start young: From about five months old, a child is usually able to make the connection between action and reaction. So if you begin time outs when your child is between two to three years old [when behaviour usually gets out of hand], then your child should be able to make the connection between their negative behaviours and the fact that punishment follows.

2. Introduce your child to the time out area: If you spank your child in an effort to get them into the time out area, then you would have defeated the purpose of putting them in a time out zone in the first place. It is better to lead them calmly to the area the first time around and then let them know the reason for their punishment.

3. Select somewhere that is visible: Make sure the time out zone is somewhere that you'd be able to observe your child's behaviour and reaction. It should also be free from distractions so that they can fully concentrate on what they have done. It is for this reason why your child's room is not a good selection.

4. Discuss the reason for the punishment: An important aspect to this punishment is allowing your child to see their mistakes. It is therefore important that you talk to your child to let them know why a particular behaviour is unacceptable.

5. Leave your child to think about what they have done: After you have finished talking to your child about why they are placed in the time out zone, leave them alone to think. In most cases the time allotted for the punishment is determined by the offence committed.

6. Allow them to apologise: If your child feels the urge to apologise after the experience, allow them to do so. It goes to show that the punishment was not in vain.

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Does time out work?