Givers and takers in relationships

By JACQUELINE CHAMPIER

Monday, December 21, 2009

ELIZABETH and George Knight in their book, Compatibility Code: An Intelligent Woman's Guide to Dating and Marriage, write that, "there are givers and takers in every relationship". The giver is the person who is always giving; the one who is always going the extra mile, and as you might guess, the taker is the one who does nothing but takes what the giver has to offer.

When there are two takers in a relationship, the relationship is doomed to fail, and will tend to end at a very early stage. When there is a giver and a taker in a relationship, the relationship may last for a longer period but the giver suffers in silence; sometimes for many years. Usually, after many years of suffering the giver may decide to quit. When there are two givers in a relationship, the relationship is poised for success as both partners take the time to give and to nourish each other.

Because there is more blessing in giving than receiving, I implore you to commit to being a giver for the rest of your relationship; aim to become a giver rather than a taker. Just in case you are a taker, wondering where to begin or what to give, here is a short list of inexpensive items that your partner should be sure to enjoy.

Foot massage or back rub No cost

One hour of listening ear No cost

Quality time No cost

Three little wishes No cost

Stroll in the park No cost

Setting the bath No cost

Little love notes No cost

Helping with house work No cost

Since it is better to give than to receive, no wonder, successful relationships are those where both partners are givers. Show your appreciation this Christmas by getting creative or giving something special. Remember to give according to your budget and the taste of your partner.

Jacqueline Champier is a counselling psychologist from Mandeville.