He's a maniac - How to know your mate has a personality disorder

By DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE All Woman writer

Monday, February 21, 2011

RESEARCH by professor Fredrick Hickling, lecturer at the University of the West Indies and clinical psychologist Vanessa Paisley, suggests that nearly a million adult Jamaicans suffer from personality disorders (PDs). This means many of us are with partners who may be considered unstable! A personality disorder is said to exist when the way in which an individual consistently perceives, relates to and thinks about him/herself and the world around him/her is so rigid and out of sync with others that it causes great difficulty in forming and sustaining relationships and coping with the normal stresses of daily living.

Hickling and Paisley believe the findings could explain the behavioural dysfunction problems in the Jamaican population, including psychosexual problems such as multiple sexual partners, sexual dysfunction and abnormal sexual practices.

Clinical psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell explained that there are many different types of personality disorders -- like paranoid personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, dependent personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. However, whatever the type -- they have one thing in common.

"All personality disorders have different presentations but they all affect persons' interpersonal and occupational functioning," Dr Bell explained. "So it will affect their relationships with others, making it very difficult [for the person with PD] to get along with others."

Ann, who asked that her last name not be used, said she was convinced, and tried to explain to relatives that her now ex husband who she was with for 10 years was a 'schizo' (schizotypal personality disorder).

"He had a split personality. He was delusional. He went from one extreme to the next," Ann said.

She explained that her ex, who is in the security forces, was always complaining about being followed and being watched, and believed that everyone he came into contact with was part of a plot to kill him.

"It was very serious. If you were walking on the road with him he was always walking briskly and looking over his shoulder," she said. "At one point I even started believing him because he was so certain. He would not leave the house unless he was going to work and even there he would tell you stories of how his colleagues were plotting with his supervisors to get rid of him."

Ann said her husband would sometimes just sit and stare at her for lengths of time without uttering a word -- wearing a bright smile on his face, to the point where it made her uncomfortable.

"He was the type who would make big plans today and tomorrow he changes his mind," she explained. "As a result we never achieved anything together in 10 years. To top it off, he would constantly tell me how much he loved me yet he was very abusive physically. Sometimes he would literally cry when I told him I didn't believe he loved me."

She said he disappeared on three occasions with the first incident causing an alarm; the second having the police putting out an alert on the airways; and the third left her nonchalant. When he finally turned up, on all occasions he complained of being stressed and having gone away to 'chill out'. The couple broke up five years ago. Today, Ann said he has been in and out of relationships where he either accuses the women of being lesbians or working obeah, thus forcing their relationships to fall apart.

Claudette H too said the behaviour of her ex-boyfriend, whom she was with for almost three years, often left her pitying him and trying to get him to a counsellor.

"He could not commit," she said. "He would just disappear for weeks without saying anything to me. There would be no phone calls or contact made. Then he would just turn up smiling and acting as if he never left."

Claudette said despite being in a steady relationship, he continued to sleep with many women, and told her openly about the liaisons.

Dr Bell said ways in which one can identify whether their spouse has a disorder are:

* One spouse accusing the other of having an affair even when there is no evidence.

* He /she will put meaning to every statement made and add a negative connotation to it.

* He/she feels people are coming to get them.

* He/she makes sly remarks

* He/she feels there are persons coming to harm them.

* He/she has a lot of delusions.

Is your mate schizo?

* If he/she has a sense of being overly important; constantly seeks admiration from others but has little thought for others; tends to exploit personal relationships; believes he/she is superior to others and is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love, then your mate may suffer from what is known as narcissistic personality disorder.

* If he/she interprets the actions of others as deliberately threatening or demeaning; believes others will harm, exploit or deceive him/her without any proof; suspects he/she may be attacked suddenly by others at any time without reason; is jealous, guarded, secretive or appears to be withdrawn; or is excessively serious, your mate may have paranoid personality disorder.

* If he/she is withdrawn and detached from others; appears to be emotionally cold and distant; appears to be a loner who fears closeness, intimacy and chooses solitary activities or hobbies that do not require interaction with others, your mate may have a schizoid personality.

* If he/she is uncomfortable around others; has difficulty forming relationships; his/her behaviour is odd and eccentric; he/she reacts inappropriately or not at all during conversations, your mate may have a schizotypal personality disorder.

* If he/she consistently disregards or violates the rights of others; acts out his/her conflicts; ignores normal rules; is deceitful and manipulative or lies constantly without any just cause, your mate may have has antisocial personality disorder -- also called psychopathy, sociopathy or dissocial personality disorder.

* If he/she has unstable and intense personal relationships; problems with self-image; is impulsive and moody; is excessively dependent on others; has great difficulty with his/her own sense of identity; has difficulty in interpersonal relationships; is prone to self-mutilation or attempts of suicide, then your mate may have borderline personality disorder.

* If he/she can't function without the help of others; is submissive and clingy; has difficulty making everyday decisions; lacks the self-confidence to initiate projects or individual activities: will urgently seek another relationship as soon as one ends; worries incessantly about being left to care for his/herself; your mate may have what is called dependent personality disorder.

* If he/she is preoccupied with orderliness, perfection and control; is unable to cope with changed circumstances; is preoccupied with details, rules, lists and order; will sacrifice leisure time, vacations and friendships for work; is reluctant to delegate tasks to others and views money as something to be stored for future catastrophes, then your mate may suffer from obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

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COMMENTS (8)

Antonette W.
2/24/2011

I'm also concerned that this study may be used to discriminate against Jamaicans as a group. It's shocking that we just accept this without questioning its validity. I've travelled all around the world, & though I'm concerned about the crimes committed in Jamaica, I see similar crimes being committed elsewhere as well. As for sexual attitudes, I believe sexual deviance is not limited to Jamaica. Even in strict Muslim countries, you still see these atrocities. The whole world is changing, period.

Antonette W.
2/24/2011

Well now I have an excuse if I mess up anything. I can say, "I'm Jamaican, what do your expect?" lol . This study could do much good if it's accurate and leads to accessible mental health care & counselling for those who need it. But, did they compare the study with those of any other countries? Studies/Statistics can be manipulated if the thesis is flawed. I live in NY and I encounter so many insane people every day that you can't convince me that Jamaica has more mentally ill people than NY.

Jenny Sol
2/23/2011

I was married to a Jamaican 'sociopath'. This became obvious when he had extramarital affairs with my neighbor, and attempted to 'bed' two other close friends. He lied continually,had no remorse for his actions, tried to make me feel guilty for his behaviour, had rapidly changing moods, a dependancy on marajuana, was very manipulative yet charming at times, had no friends, took pleasure in causing me pain. My advice to women out there, you cannot help them, help yourself and get out asap.

Jade July
2/22/2011

So basically we are all crazy. Life was so much simpler without all these labels and persons dealt with their problems by talking it out. Now everything you say or every action is some sort of disorder

Clara Brooks
2/22/2011

Yes, everyone appears to have some form of personality disorder, which means we have a crazy set of people running Jamaica. Just check out the list and think of each MP and you'll see that it fits like OJ gloves. Also this squarely means the serotonin levels of our people are depleted causing our brain chemical to blow out our neurotransmitters. So these shrinks are telling us that post slavery syndrome are rampant among granny and young alike? What a sinting. That explains the murder rate? BULL

U.S Liberal odean
2/21/2011

I think that that first lady (Ann) ex-husband was displaying symptoms of Post traumatic Stress Disorder ( PTSD). this is common for people who are or were in the armed forces.

Magar Boy
2/21/2011

So basically we're all crazy people then. That's the reason why I dont readily accept things that "learned" people dishes out. base on every listing above almost everyone if not everyone can attest to having at least one of those traits. Does that makes us a maniac society?

Chelsea Green
2/21/2011

Without discounting what these two ladies are reporting, it is important to ensure that their significant other behaviors were not a result of use of mood altering substances (marijuana). The use of drugs (legal or illegal) should always be ruled out when assessing aberrant behaviors.

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He's a maniac - How to know your mate has a personality disorder