All Woman

How do I tell him I cheated?

BY DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE All Woman reporter husseyd@jamaicaobserver.com

Monday, September 30, 2013    

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MEN and women of all colours, ages, nationalities and religions cheat; it’s done by the rich and poor, attractive and unattractive. Cheating has for years been a man’s game, but research — a tri-nation study carried out in Jamaica, Haiti and the Dominican Republic in 2011 — has shown that more women are cheating on their partners, a feature of changing gender roles in the Caribbean. 

There are times when conscience steps in and she will spill the beans; there are times when the perpetrator is caught; and there are times when she will go for years, and her misdeeds don’t come to light. This week we asked women, would you tell him you cheated, and how would you do it?

Viveen M, 51:

Why would you want to tell him? He isn’t telling you when he is cheating!

Andrea R, 44:

I surely wouldn’t tell him and pray to God he doesn’t find out.

Sharon M, 38:

The only way I would tell him is if I fly out and call him on the phone and then tell him. That way he wouldn’t get to kill me!

Rosemarie G, 43:

If it’s a case where I am cheating because he is not doing what he is supposed to do as a partner and I find someone else who is, and I make up my mind to leave him but don’t know how to, then I would make sure he catches us together.

Karen B, 27:

If it is something that I am doing to get back at him then I would just tell him straight out — “if you didn’t do that then I wouldn’t do this”. I really wouldn’t try to hide it or spare his feelings because he wasn’t sparing mine!

Brenda-Lee P, 35:

If I am cheating it’s because I am enjoying it so I wouldn’t tell him a thing. Worse, it would devastate him.

Shernette W, 42:

I would go to a counsellor and have her call him and set up an appointment so we can all meet. Then I would tell him with the counsellor present. But this would only be if I have ended it or if I’m struggling to end it but find it difficult.

Renae Y, 29:

I would tell him there is something important I really need to talk to him about, then lay it down as gentle as I could. But if it is a long-standing relationship with the other person I would not let him know. If he found out, I would make it appear as if it happened twice or so and that my heart wasn’t involved, even though it would have had to be for me to have cheated in the first place. Then I would answer all his questions as gently as possible so that I could rebuild his trust in me.

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