MANY people who break up can't wait to reach the acceptance stage of their grief, when they're able to acknowledge the end and move on in a healthy way. This follows anger, bargaining, depression, denial and negotiation, and it's often at the end of all these emotions that experts will tell you that you are OK, healthy, and ready to hit the dating scene again.
But some persons remain at one stage for very long, so long, oftentimes, that they forget they're there and think, in error, that they're at the acceptance stage. And then they find themselves outside their ex's house, bottle bomb in hand, sirens wailing in the distance.
It is no easy task getting over someone who has held a special part of your heart for the longest time. And if you can identify with any of the scenarios below, you really haven't got over it yet.
You stalk his Facebook page
You convince yourself that you are still his friend and it's no big deal that you're no longer lovers. But then you like every comment he makes — even those made in 2012 — and tag him in every relationship quote, hoping he'll notice you and reconcile.
You can't get your mind off him
You spend all your waking moments thinking about him. You burn the rice because you are standing in the kitchen remembering the many things you did together. You can't hold a proper conversation because your mind keeps drifting to him, wondering whose bed he's in right now.
His photos are all over your bedroom
Everywhere you turn there are photos and mementos of him all over your place. You can't bear to give him back that XBox he lent you, nor to return his coffee mug with his name on it, and you sleep in his dirty gym shirt every night because you want to remember his scent.
You still sleep with him
Even though you have a new man, you entertain your ex in bed whenever your man's away. He can still easily convince you to sleep with him for old times' sake and you do, 'cause the fire's still burning.
He is the first person you think of, every day
When you wake up; before you go to bed; when those big moments happen in your life; when something amuses you, the first person you think of sharing it with is your ex. And on your down days you keep wishing he was around to cheer you up.
You keep comparing him to others
There could be some good prospects for boyfriends out there, but you keep blowing them off with your comparisons. Oh he used to do this, and he used to do that, no one can compare with your ex guy.
Everything reminds you of him
You can't look at a certain cologne on your dresser without attaching some memory to him; the song on the radio, a certain old movie — your list is endless with the things that connect him to your memory.
You still hope...
You have not given up on the idea that the two of you will find your way back to each other again someday. In fact you are not even willing to entertain the thought that there could be someone new in his life.