I am getting married for money, not love

By Shornee Carnegie

Monday, January 06, 2014

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The other day I was talking to a girlfriend and I expressed to her that, come 2014, I am finding myself a rich man and I am getting married. I am tired of broke men breaking my heart. So if my heart is going to be broken in 2014, might as well have it broken by a rich man.


She began to lecture me about how a lot of rich men's wife are lonely and miserable, and how rich people don't 'live' life. Well I know a few rich men's wives, and aside from looking after the kids, all they do is go to the gym and their life seem pretty happy to me. I can do that!


So while she was talking and bashing rich men and their wives, I was thinking to myself, what the hell does she know about being a rich man's wife. I am basically her only friend and I am as broke as a church mouse, and I am lonely and miserable, so where is she getting her scientific empirical hard evidence from.


You see come 2014, I will be examining my friends list as well, I think it needs a bit of tweaking because the good book says in Proverbs 13:20, "walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." Enough said.


A lot of women see a poor man as being humble, faithful, kind and loving, but being poor does not guarantee all of that. It does not guarantee happiness like most people would have you believe. If anything, it puts more stress on a relationship. I have done poor men for so long, I am leaving them behind in 2014.


Let me explain the type of poor I am talking about. The one who is not willing to do just about anything legal to support their family. The one that does not have any money to contribute to the bills and the household nor the date. The one with numerous children and no money to take care of them. The one who doesn't want to go back to school and is stuck in that dead-end job that is going nowhere. The one that owes every bank in the land money and has the worse credit score in the world. The one who is comfortable for you to be the head of the household and reminds you daily that gender roles have changed and it is OK for women to take care of men financially.


If you fall in any of the categories, you will not get any love from me. There is nothing sexy or appealing about you. I don't need anymore of you in my life, I can do poor all by myself.


If you are not yet wealthy but there is potential, I can work with that, because there is nothing more sexier than an ambitious man.


We need to understand that not all men that earn lots of money does it dishonestly, and being rich is not a crime, but being poor is.


So come 2014, I am going to be rich in many ways. I am going to go to church more often so that God can grant me my heart's desire; work harder in my career, and find me a rich husband that I can learn to love. As Kanye West says: "Having money isn't everything, not having it is."




Shornee Carnegie is an adventurer who likes to give a comedic spin to intense issues. A single professional, she writes to keep sane.


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