All Woman

Mistakes men make with women

BY DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE All Woman writer

Monday, February 03, 2014    

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MANY men mistakenly believe they are experts when it comes to women, but then they fail at man/woman relationships when put to the test. This is because they repeat common mistakes and perceptions men have about women, which are not necessarily true for all.

Some of these are:

1. Thinking that women are only attracted to 'nice' guys.

Psychologist Dr Leahcim Semaj said 'good girls' falling for 'bad boys' is a universally well-established phenomenon that is also very common in Jamaica. "It's a complex but very common phenomenon," Semaj told All Woman. "Women love challenges and the 'good girls/bad guys' is a kind of challenge." The challenge, he said, is that women will get with these men with the hope of changing them. Semaj said typically it's the good girls who choose the bad boys because of the way they make them feel.

"He makes her feel very special and she is fascinated by him, and she feels needed," he explained.

2. Not realising that women are more attracted to the way he makes her feel, than the way he looks.

While men will instantly feel sexual attraction to women, she on the other hand is attracted to the way he treats her and makes her feel. Research shows that women make love with their minds. Therefore, it really doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that in many cases, if a woman is content and happy in her relationship, then she will have no reservations about pleasing her man.

Racquel McCarthy, counselling psychologist and sex adviser, said how a woman gives herself sexually is directly tied to the type of relationship she has with her partner. "If she is in a relationship that she is comfortable with, that she can explore in, where she can express herself without the fear of being criticised, then she will feel free in trusting someone with her body," she said.

3. Believing women like when you kiss up to them.

Women are never attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them, even though on the flip side they are not attracted to men who treat them badly. So if you are one of those men who think that treating a woman well means always getting her approval and permission for things, think again.

4. Trying to buy her affection with food and gifts.

How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her reject you for someone who didn't treat her even half as well as you did? She doesn't want you to buy her affection.

5. Thinking that women are only interested in your money.

There are indeed women who are gold-diggers but the majority of us are independent women who are not interested in a man for his money. Most women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks.

6. Sharing how you feel too early in the relationship.

Sharing your feelings with a woman too early in a relationship is a mistake and should be reserved for after the relationship is more developed.

"A lot of men will approach a woman, especially if she looks good, and tell her all sorts of things, how she look, good and how he loves her and wants to be with her," said Paul Anthony, married 12 years. "So she will just look at you as an idiot and like everybody else. So the best thing to do is to wait until you have actually developed a good relationship with her before you start pouring out your heart to her."

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