All Woman

Propose to him!


Monday, January 06, 2014    

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While some persons view marriage as the loss their freedom, others have accepted that it is honourable and something that is expected once you are in a long-term romantic relationship.

Marriage officer and overseer at the New United Bibleway Church of God, Jasmin O Brown, says there are great benefits to marriage, especially a good marriage.

"Good marriages have great benefits, even though it would appear that 70 per cent of marriages are faced with stress," Brown says.

The benefits involved — such as having someone to share your life's dreams and visions with, making financial burden lighter, having a best friend you can trust without fear of having your trust violated — could be the reason women feel it necessary to wed especially after years of living with a man. But what happens if he is not interested in marriage? Should you walk away and find someone who will? Or should you take matters into your own hands and ask him to marry you instead?

Claire W, now married for seven years says after living with her husband William four years and one child after, it was time to get married. However, after a year of hinting that she was ready without a satisfactory response from him, she did what many women fear. She told him she was ready to marry him.

"I didn't bother to ask him to marry me. I told him I wanted to marry him, and then ask if he was ready. He said yes," Claire laughs as she recalls the day they went out, had a drink together and went back home to 'hot sex'.

"I don't know if it was the liquor, or just years of wanting to marry him, but the words just came out of me, and here we are today, married with family," Claire says.

She advises women that if they are with someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with but he is making no effort to pop the question, she should not be afraid to make the move.

"But why wait for the guy to pop the question? It's not like it's all up to him, you both have a say in the matter," she says.

Ladies, if you have spoken about your future to include the fact that you visualise the two of you being married and having children together and he was in total agreement, and even appeared excited about the idea, then he may very well be ready to tie the knot with you and will welcome your proposal.

Instead of asking him the traditionally, tell him that you want to marry him and ask him if he feels the same. If he doesn't then more than likely he will express why not and you will not feel as embarrassed as having him say 'no'.

However, if you are one for tradition, think about how you would want to be proposed to and do the very same. Including the putting on of a ring. One evening for example, take him out to dinner, reach for his hand over the table and in a sweet tone casually ask "honey, would you marry me?'

Be prepared however, that he may very well say no, he has that right, just as you would if the tables were turned. However, if he says 'yes' set a wedding date and work towards that while planning it together.

They say first impressions last, and so if you plan to propose to him, try going back to the place where you first met, or where he first told you he loved you, your first date, your favourite hangout spot, etc. As long as it is somewhere special to the two of you. If you do something completely different and new, like a weekend at a fancy hotel, or a big fancy dinner, he may feel just too overwhelmed to think and may even say yes just so he won't hurt your feelings after all that planning and effort on your part. So keep it familiar, but sentimental.

If it is that you want to marry him, then it must mean you know him well enough to know his likes and dislikes. Therefore, ask him in a way that suits his personality — in a private setting, out on the beach, over drink, dinner, in the middle of sex — your call!





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