June 20, 2012
TODAY Wesley and I went to the hospital, and as he dropped me off at the front entrance, I glanced at the oversized sign: CANCER CLINIC.
"My God, this is for real," I thought. My stomach was doing all kinds of acrobatics; my feet suddenly became too heavy for my frame. As much as I had prepared myself mentally, my head, unfortunately, forgot to convey the message to my heart that Wesley had prostate cancer. As we held hands walking through the main entrance, I felt as though I was a prisoner being taken to the electric chair for a crime I did not commit.
If today was an indication of what was ahead of me, I realised the journey would be long and quite tedious, to say the least. My journey had not yet begun and already I was beginning to feel the pangs of hell. A life that we had known for over 36 years was all over, and that was not by choice.
"Where did yesterday go?" I kept asking myself, "and what could have possibly gone wrong why today is upon us?" Yesterday we had a marriage that was solid as a rock. We were blissfully happy; my marriage was my haven, a peaceful place to fall. It was a place I felt very safe and secure. It was not at all perfect, but then again neither were we, but at the end of the day there was no one we would have rather come home to, but each other. We had a marriage that was filled with humour and I am proud to say that it was my meagre contribution to the relationship. And then came today with so much heartache and pain.
Little did I know that the cancer would have been the "other woman" in our lives and a thorn in my side. It was a woman no man in his right mind would have wanted.
I have been truly blessed with a faithful man, a man who happens to love me totally and completely. Some would even say that I have been spoiled throughout the years. That was until "she" came into our lives.
Mark you, Wesley did not go out looking for trouble, nevertheless trouble had certainly found him. My husband has no desire to be with this "woman" as she continues to stalk him. Unfortunately, a restraining order against her is out of the question as she is above the law. Our next step will be to take drastic measures, either by burning "her" at the stake, radiation, or murdering her through surgery.
I know one day she will eventually be gone out of our lives, but should I be happy knowing that she will be leaving with an intricate part of his body? Is it selfish of me to want every fibre of his being? Or should I be grateful that when she leaves, she is not taking his heart with her?
More next week.