Relationship advice I have not followed — and regretted


Monday, June 17, 2013

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MANY, if not most of us, go through life with some sort of regret. Some regrets are so bad that we cannot move past them to have fulfilling lives, others are merely fleeting, as we learn our lessons and move on.

One regret many people have is not following advice about their relationships, and then ending up being hurt. In fact, many persons are warned by well-thinking friends and family before entering into some unhealthy unions, and ignore the advice, only to regret it later. Others have been given advice on just how to make relationships work, but have ignored such advice, to their detriment.

Below, some women share relationship advice they have ignored, and still regret to this day.

Yvonne Spencer, 42:

I was told to leave my boyfriend the first time he hit me and embarrassed me on the street. Now I have a child with him and he is in my life forever. Big regret. Because even though we are not together, he still makes my life miserable because he does not want to see me with any other man, and I can't have any other man meeting the child, because he claims they will be a bad influence on his child.

Keisha Richards, 47:

I was told that my ex was a good guy and I should settle down with him. When he asked me to marry him after four years, I told him I was not ready. It broke his heart and he walked away. He wanted to settle down and start a family, but at 24 I felt I was just not ready. Today he is married to someone else and she is very happy and reaping what should have been mine.

Beverly Campbell, 52:

I was told that I should seek counselling for my marriage when things were going bad, instead of walking away. I have since found out the hard way that there is no such thing as the perfect man, and it makes no sense to go looking for one. He does not exist! So work with the one you have if his faults are ones you can live with. Everybody makes mistakes -- even me.

Pamela W, 32:

I was told not to date a guy from another race, as these unions never end well. I ignored the advice, because I thought I was liberal. But while he was cool, his family was a nightmare. He -- my loving boyfriend -- didn't stand up for me when his family told him in front of me that it couldn't work. He broke off our engagement after I met the family.

Nastassia Moore, 25:

Don't go searching for things you cannot handle. If you can't handle your partner cheating on you, don't go and dig up his clothes, drawers, search through his phone or stalk him. Don't call his workplace and ask what shift he is on or check his Facebook account. One of two things is going to happen to you -- either you are going to find out that he is cheating and you can't handle it, or he is going to find out and start locking up everything and still cheat. You are going to become more insecure. After that comes the nagging and mistrust.

Sylvia L, 30:

My father always told me to date within my circle, and most of all, never date a short man, as they are too full of themselves. Well, I thought I had met the perfect guy, and I didn't want to discriminate, because I didn't want to focus on looks, just on smarts. Let's just say the relationship involved me constantly having to boost his ego in bed, even though to the world he pretended to be this self-confident brother with his PhD. He treated me like crap, as all I have is a Bachelor's, and even though he couldn't get another woman. It took months and months for me to get over being treated badly, and to get back my self-confidence.

Regina Montaque, 38:

I was told not to jump into a new relationship after a break-up unless you have healed. This is something I was told by many of my friends after my boyfriend of four years and I broke up. I didn't listen, didn't want to listen. So when I met this guy two months after, who seemed to adore me, we got involved. I knew I wasn't over my ex and felt that getting involved with someone else was a good way to get over him and ease the pain. The only problem was that I was vulnerable and blinded to the truth. A week after we slept together, the guy left me. He only wanted me for what he could get in my weakest moment.




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