IT’S easy to know when he’s falling in love with you — the gifts, the surprises, the proclamations, the plans for the future — as you both go giddy headed into your new union.
When the love is dying though, everything slows, and it becomes monotonous and uncomfortable and hard work to even keep up the pretense that everything’s fine.
Because men don’t usually show their feelings, it may be hard to spot when the tides are changing and he’s over you and the relationship. But watch for the signs below, some of our readers say — all signs they’ve experienced in the past before their relationships went kaput.
You take out the whip for role play and he threatens to call the police and CDA, as he says whips and chains now qualify as abuse, and he doesn’t want to play your games anymore.
He’s mastered the art of rolling his eyes and everything you say or do is met with a ‘girl please’ look, and it’s hard for him to hide his disgust with and disdain for you, even though you haven’t done anything differently.
He treats you like you’re five, and talks to you like you’re dumb, even though you’re the one with the PhD. He picks fights and nags, and you suspect, rightly so, that he wants you to throw in the towel in frustration first.
He refuses your advances to have sex, using every excuse in the book — he has a headache, he’s tired, he’s stressed or he needs emotional support. If he doesn’t even blink when you come from the dressing room looking like catwoman with a sexy growl to match, he’s over it.
He stops taking your calls. If you used to talk all the time and now you call him and he’s suddenly busy, or he takes forever to ping you back, or you hear that tone of annoyance in his voice, he may be over it. When you’re in love, no matter how busy you are, you always have time for the other person.
You invite him to stare into your eyes during the rare full moon and he stares at you blankly, or he laughs and points to that pimple you’ve been trying to hide on your face. You cook a romantic dinner, candle light and all, and he complains that he can’t see what you’ve stuffed into the chicken breast this time, because you’ve foolishly turned out all the lights and he can’t find his glasses and aren’t you afraid the open flame will burn the house down?
You try to initiate sex — which you haven’t had for six months — and as soon as you get your purring kitten voice going and start slow dancing to Marvin Gaye, he pulls the sheets up to his neck and starts complaining that you don’t appreciate him for his mind, and only like him for his hot bod, and he’s offended enough to want to take a break from you for a while.