All Woman

Signs he's playing you

BY SIMONE MORGAN All Woman writer

Monday, September 06, 2010    

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A player is a man who moves from one woman to the next without the women seeing his moves coming. He often does so because he is not interested in committing himself to anyone. Players come in all shapes and sizes, some of them slimier than others, but they've all got several characteristics in common. Some will have more, some will have less, but if the man you're dating has several of these in one go, you could well be dating a player.

* He isn't that interested in getting to know you, wanting to learn all about your interests, your dreams, your family. In fact, he doesn't really ask you many questions about yourself at all. All he ever really seems to want to do is... ahem... be alone with you.

* He's not very affectionate (out of bed) and he doesn't show any significant feelings. He doesn't gaze into your eyes lovingly, stroke your face tenderly or give you back massages. And, once you've slept together, he may even try to get you out of his place as quickly as possible.

* He doesn't show any sincere interest in, let alone care about or have any obvious concern about your thoughts, feelings, ideas, goals, desires, or problems. He doesn't even appear to be that interested in how your day has been. You may even have to initiate most of your conversations.

* He hardly talks at all and appears to not want to waste any time talking with you. There's no talk ever about the future, dating exclusively, a serious commitment or where the relationship is going. What he really likes to do instead is the 'physical' type of activities that involve little planning or speaking. And being between the sheets with him seems to be the only real connection you actually have.

* He's not texting , e-mailing you or calling you and, when you try and contact him, he's often not available and your messages may not be returned for days. In fact, he'll rarely ever contact you first, and if he does, it's at the very last minute or the latest hours on the weekend. There's not ever any real communication between you and the only time he ever makes time for you out of his busy schedule is to have sex.

* He's only ever taken you on ONE actual date and that was before you slept with him. He doesn't take you out for dinner, dancing or to a movie. If he does happen to take you out, you may have to pay your way. Usually, the time you spend together is just hanging out at each other's places — in bed.

* He seems to expect you to meet his needs, but doesn't show any real interest in meeting yours. Not only that, but he's not showing you that he puts your wants and needs ahead of his own.

* He doesn't want to introduce you to his friends, family or work colleagues. You've also noticed that he seems to want to keep you private from the rest of his life. He may have a jampacked schedule or social life that doesn't involve you. The rare times you do happen to go out in public with him, you notice that he isn't as affectionate towards you and even treats you like just his 'friend'.

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