Signs you love him too much


Monday, August 04, 2014

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MANY women in love err in making their partners the centre of their lives, to the point where that person has all authority over their existence.

When you find that all your thoughts revolve around him; you can't exist without him; your happiness is dependent on him and your world will come to an end without him, then you are no longer in a healthy relationship. If when he doesn't call or visit you cannot sleep, you lose your appetite and constantly wonder if he is with someone else, that too is unhealthy.

Clinical psychologist Ashlei McFarlane said the condition associated with loving a partner too much is Borderline Personality Disorder, marked by problems with regulating emotions and thoughts, impulsive and reckless behaviour and unstable relationships with other people.

McFarlane noted that people with this disorder will often become so attached to their partners that they will threaten or attempt suicide if they feel their partner is ending the relationship.

"Think of the guy who calls his lady every hour checking on her location or who says, if you leave me I will kill you and kill myself," she explained. "There are women who have panic attacks or threaten to take overdoses of pills if they feel their man may leave them or if there is an argument. Basically this mental condition is a serious inability to manage emotions. And they are very insecure about any separation in the relationship."

McFarlane said that this obsession is really a very serious condition that requires treatment.

"Without help for this person we are likely to see events that are sadly becoming frequent in Jamaica -- murder-suicides," she said.

So what are some of the signs that you love someone too much?

1. Doing any and everything to make him happy

You forget what your own principles are and have instead fallen into doing just about any and everything he requires of you. This could even include allowing him to have other sexual relationships as long as at the end of the day he comes back home to you, or having threesomes though it is something you have always been against. Yes, he means everything to you, but doing everything is not good for the relationship. Believe it or not, this only makes you a slave to love.

2. Putting him on a pedestal and looking down on yourself

Many women put men on a pedestal because they often feel if they treat him like a king he will never leave. But while it is OK to treat him like a king, ensure that you too are being treated as a queen in return. If you look up to him and down on yourself, this is a sure sign you are too much in love. If you are the type to put your man on a high mountain, thinking he is more intelligent, capable and ultimately more important, all that admiration will make you look pathetic.

3. Abandoning friends to spend every waking minute with him

Another sign that says you are too much in love is denying yourself time with your friends, thinking your partner will miss you, and that you can only enjoy yourself if you are with him.

4. You feel you will kill yourself if he decides to leave you

When he threatens to leave, you feel as if you cannot survive without him and that the only way to end the pain is to commit suicide, hurt the other woman he may be involved with, or hurt him.

5. You side with him even though you know he is wrong

If you find that you are always siding with your mate even if you know he is wrong, or you support poor decisions or refrain from giving advice, thinking you are proving your love and faithfulness for him, is another sign that you love him too much.

6. You are always the one apologising

No matter what he does or how he has wronged you, you are always the one apologising and he never says 'I'm sorry' to you. Sure, you may believe it is easier just to let him think he's won, but he can't be that perfect!




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