All Woman

Signs you should call off your wedding

Nadine Wilson

Monday, October 01, 2012    

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WE all know about the classic cases of cold feet that make women second guess their decision to walk down the aisle, but if you are about to enter holy matrimony and you can't envision happily ever after with your mate, you might want to consider calling off your wedding

Make no mistake, marriage is a costly venture and getting out of it is time consuming and emotionally taxing, but if you thought telling family and friends that you are ending your engagement was difficult, consider going through a divorce, or even worse, being in a marriage you know should never have happened from the start.

The signs that you are not headed for wedded bliss are often quite obvious, but not many couples pay attention or act quickly to save themselves a lifetime of heartache.

"There are times when we say to people, we don't think this is going to work. We tell them about the many, many red flags, and we tell them it's just not going to work and they leave us and go and do it, and it just never works," said psychologist and author of Before They Say I Do, Dr Barry Davidson.

Dr Davidson, who is the executive director of Family Life Ministries, has counselled countless couples over the years and pointed out that about 40 per cent of those who come to his organisation for premarital counselling usually decide to call off the wedding because of the information gleaned about their partner during the sessions.

Here are some sure signs that you should call off your wedding:

1. You are not in love with your future spouse. A loveless marriage is never a good option, no matter how rich or handsome your partner is. If you have lost that loving feeling for your future spouse after years of dating, or because you have become attracted to someone else, you'll be doing them a huge favour by telling them this before the wedding.

2. You can't agree on anything. You want children, he doesn't, you want to migrate, he won't, you can't seem to agree on even the basics of life and things normal couples bond over are a source of contention for both of you. They say opposites attract, but it's hard to have a good married life when you are always at each other's throats.

3. You are marrying to appease your parents. He is the apple of your parents' eyes and a thorn in yours. They see your future husband as the one who will uplift the family standing, but as far as you are concerned, he doesn't even come close to doing the same for your heart. If you are old enough to marry, then you are certainly old enough to make your own decisions.

4. You don't trust the person you are marrying. You have to check his Facebook account, his phone and give him a thorough search after his night out with the boys and it seems that you are perfecting your skills to become a top ranked private investigator instead of a wife. If there is no trust, then the relationship is bound to crumble.

5. Your partner is an habitual cheater. Your partner has a wandering eye that settles on anything in a skirt, even at the most inappropriate times, like when you settle down for a nice evening out. You are constantly having to deal with other females who hold claim to him being their man, and you have even caught him in the act of cheating a couple times. You might have made a mistake in dating him, but marriage is not a good solution to straightening out a wayward man.

6. You husband-to-be keeps on prolonging the engagement. It could very well be that he doesn't want to get married, but feels placing a ring on your finger is the only way to guarantee that you will stick around. If it's been three years since you have been wearing an engagement ring and he keeps on telling you that he is finding it difficult to come up with the perfect date for your wedding, why don't you help him out. How about telling him the date has fallen off the calendar.

7. You don't really know the person you are about to marry. You can't get married on a whim just because it's the "in" thing. Just ask Kim Kardashian whose marriage lasted 72 days or Britney Spears who couldn't even make it to three full days as the Mrs. If upon reflection you don't know much about your husband-to-be, it wouldn't kill to delay or call off your wedding.

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