All Woman

Surviving Christmas while single

By KIMBERLEY HIBBERT All Woman writer

Monday, December 09, 2013    

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FOR those of us who will be rocking to the sounds of Beyonce's Single Ladies this Christmas, the season can be just as special as it will be for those who are coupled up. Surviving the holidays as a singleton isn't as difficult as it may seem, and below are a few tips for making the best of the season.

Cheer up

You may just be recovering from a break-up which you didn't see coming, but don't let this bring your spirits down. Don't wallow in the hurt and push away the people who actually love you. Misery breeds misery so try to distract yourself instead of dwelling on your distress. Volunteer to do some cooking, call up a cheerful friend — just get your mind off that subject.

Go out

At this time of the year there are a million and one parties you can attend to blow off steam and free your mind. Just ensure that you're not the only single person there.

Look on the bright side

Being single has its benefits — no stressing over presents, where to eat Christmas dinner, going out alone, which outfit he or she will like, and the list goes on. Remember that the festivities last for one week and in no time it will be January and life will continue.

Use the festive season to start over

It makes no sense beating up yourself over spilt milk. Maybe you trusted too much or just trusted in the wrong things. Forgive yourself and move on. Compare yourself to others who are in dire circumstances, who have nowhere to live and nothing to eat. Be glad that you are healthy and can enjoy certain comforts.

Spend time with friends and family

You may be overtaken with pride at this point and don't want to be questioned about your love life. Be kind to the ones who actually care for you and don't reject them because of a few questions you can choose to not answer.

Do not contact an ex or buy them a gift. Doing this will only make you look desperate and pathetic. Try reuniting with your friends or your favourite cousin you had so much fun with while growing up.

Participate in charity work

Do something for the less fortunate. Guilt is wasted on emotions, so don't sit at home being a slave to past memories of your lost love. Help out at a golden age home or children's home, do a clothes drive for the homeless or a Christmas treat for the children in your community.

Treat yourself

This might be the only time you get to eat without worrying if you'll put on too much weight and your partner will frown. It might also be the only time you get to spend money without your partner telling you to bear in mind the bills and other expenses. Yes they're important too, but now you can get those amazing shoes you've always wanted or that cute little dress you've been eyeing for a long while that will cost you a good penny, but it will be worth it.

Try developing new habits

It may be a good idea not to do stuff or activities that were special to you and your partner now that they're not around anymore. So if you used to decorate the tree together, try not having a tree this year. If you used to bake together, buy a cake from someone this year. Doing things you once did together alone will only flood your thoughts with those special moments you once shared and allow you to become sad — it's not healthy. Try finding alternatives or going to a friend's house.

Vacation

Take time off from everything around you and just relax. Lie on the beach and let your mind drift. While you're at it, watch a movie, have a drink and just forget about being single.

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