THEY say, 'See me and come live with me are two different things', and the first few months of marriage are sometimes challenging, as couples who haven't lived together before the nuptials settle into their new unions.
This week, in response to a similar article a few weeks back, a few wives weigh in on things they learned from their husbands in the first few weeks of marriage — the surprises, the disappointments, the pleasurable and the shocking.
When men get married they expect nothing to change, including the wife. Most of his keepsakes are junk to her, and merging is more difficult than expected.
Real love, strength, understanding, patience, how to keep faith, and that prayer changes everything.
I learned that he drank a lot, too much for my comfort. This wasn't an issue when we were dating, even though he would always have a beer or two when we went out, no matter what the time. But he now has a mini bar in the house, and he drinks copious amounts when at home. I tell him he's an alcoholic, but he doesn't agree. I don't like drunkards because my father is one.
I learned that he was completely domesticated, which made me extremely happy. However, he didn't wash up after he cooked and he procrastinated. He spent money without doing a budget and he clipped his toenails and didn't dump the clippings, so I would find them in the bed, the chair or on the floor. Also, he preferred cooking ground provisions instead of rice.
I learned that he was kinky — very shocking. My man, who is the cutest little Christian nerd, my IT professional, is very sleazy with his demands in bed. He's like the perfect husband in the streets, but a pornographic tiger between the sheets. He wants to go the full hundred, all the time, which makes me think there are some serious psychological issues going on with this one.
Well, I learned how to check the car and how to cook, as he is a better cook than I am.
I learned to be more relaxed because I tend to worry and get stressed easily when faced with a challenge, but my husband is very easygoing and focuses more on the solution and not on the problem. He doesn't cook at all, therefore I have to do all the cooking, but he washes the dishes so I call it even. He's stubborn because when he makes a decision on a matter, there's no changing his mind. He calls it determined but I call it stubborn, and it's a huge adjustment as when we were dating I often got my way. I married a workaholic and I thought as a newlywed he would be home more, but my husband is very devoted to his job and takes his role as a provider very seriously. So after our honeymoon I was home by myself a lot -- my honeymoon was literally over. I also learned to say what I meant. My yes had to be yes and my no just that. There is no grey area with him and he's not going to assume how I feel -- this is sometimes frustrating. He doesn't like his possessions to be touched or moved, even worse, sharing his food. My husband is from a large family, and being the eldest child he was often left with the least. So while I thought wearing your man's shirt or eating from his plate was cool, he doesn't like it, but I still do it anyway for the fun of it.
I've been married for five years and in the first month I learned to cook, how to satisfy him sexually and how to cope with his bad habits.
He works a lot. He talks a lot and discusses his clients with me. He leaves his clothes everywhere. I learned that he uses sex to free his mind, so I have to please him sexually. He doesn't argue. He'll just sit and stare then offer to play a game of Scrabble after the argument, which really pisses me off. He's very impromptu. He doesn't like housework but he loves children.
I learned patience, how to cook rice and peas, love and understanding
I can't remember what I learned, but I definitely cried a lot and wanted to go back to my mama's house.