All Woman

Things I learned from my husband in the first month of marriage

LOVE & SEX

BY KIMBERLEY HIBBERT Observer writer

Monday, July 07, 2014    

Print this page Email A Friend!


THEY say, 'See me and come live with me are two different things', and the first few months of marriage are sometimes challenging, as couples who haven't lived together before the nuptials settle into their new unions.

This week, in response to a similar article a few weeks back, a few wives weigh in on things they learned from their husbands in the first few weeks of marriage — the surprises, the disappointments, the pleasurable and the shocking.

Pat:

When men get married they expect nothing to change, including the wife. Most of his keepsakes are junk to her, and merging is more difficult than expected.

Dee:

Real love, strength, understanding, patience, how to keep faith, and that prayer changes everything.

Paula:

I learned that he drank a lot, too much for my comfort. This wasn't an issue when we were dating, even though he would always have a beer or two when we went out, no matter what the time. But he now has a mini bar in the house, and he drinks copious amounts when at home. I tell him he's an alcoholic, but he doesn't agree. I don't like drunkards because my father is one.

Gladys:

I learned that he was completely domesticated, which made me extremely happy. However, he didn't wash up after he cooked and he procrastinated. He spent money without doing a budget and he clipped his toenails and didn't dump the clippings, so I would find them in the bed, the chair or on the floor. Also, he preferred cooking ground provisions instead of rice.

Nadine:

I learned that he was kinky — very shocking. My man, who is the cutest little Christian nerd, my IT professional, is very sleazy with his demands in bed. He's like the perfect husband in the streets, but a pornographic tiger between the sheets. He wants to go the full hundred, all the time, which makes me think there are some serious psychological issues going on with this one.

Nicky:

Well, I learned how to check the car and how to cook, as he is a better cook than I am.

Tami:

I learned to be more relaxed because I tend to worry and get stressed easily when faced with a challenge, but my husband is very easygoing and focuses more on the solution and not on the problem. He doesn't cook at all, therefore I have to do all the cooking, but he washes the dishes so I call it even. He's stubborn because when he makes a decision on a matter, there's no changing his mind. He calls it determined but I call it stubborn, and it's a huge adjustment as when we were dating I often got my way. I married a workaholic and I thought as a newlywed he would be home more, but my husband is very devoted to his job and takes his role as a provider very seriously. So after our honeymoon I was home by myself a lot -- my honeymoon was literally over. I also learned to say what I meant. My yes had to be yes and my no just that. There is no grey area with him and he's not going to assume how I feel -- this is sometimes frustrating. He doesn't like his possessions to be touched or moved, even worse, sharing his food. My husband is from a large family, and being the eldest child he was often left with the least. So while I thought wearing your man's shirt or eating from his plate was cool, he doesn't like it, but I still do it anyway for the fun of it.

Kerry:

I've been married for five years and in the first month I learned to cook, how to satisfy him sexually and how to cope with his bad habits.

Leslie:

He works a lot. He talks a lot and discusses his clients with me. He leaves his clothes everywhere. I learned that he uses sex to free his mind, so I have to please him sexually. He doesn't argue. He'll just sit and stare then offer to play a game of Scrabble after the argument, which really pisses me off. He's very impromptu. He doesn't like housework but he loves children.

Christi:

I learned patience, how to cook rice and peas, love and understanding

Lacy:

I can't remember what I learned, but I definitely cried a lot and wanted to go back to my mama's house.

ADVERTISEMENT

POST A COMMENT

HOUSE RULES

 

1. We welcome reader comments on the top stories of the day. Some comments may be republished on the website or in the newspaper – email addresses will not be published.

2. Please understand that comments are moderated and it is not always possible to publish all that have been submitted. We will, however, try to publish comments that are representative of all received.

3. We ask that comments are civil and free of libellous or hateful material. Also please stick to the topic under discussion.

4. Please do not write in block capitals since this makes your comment hard to read.

5. Please don't use the comments to advertise. However, our advertising department can be more than accommodating if emailed: advertising@jamaicaobserver.com.

6. If readers wish to report offensive comments, suggest a correction or share a story then please email: community@jamaicaobserver.com.

7. Lastly, read our Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy



comments powered by Disqus
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Poll

Do you believe couples in long distance relationships are capable of staying faithful to one another?
Yes
No


View Results »

Results published weekly in All Woman


ADVERTISEMENT

Today's Cartoon

Click image to view full size editorial cartoon
ADVERTISEMENT