All Woman

Toxic friendships

Shakira Thomas

Monday, September 17, 2012    

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DO you have a friend who you have doubts about, where you constantly have nagging thoughts questioning their loyalty and their real place in your life? As crazy as it may seem, not all of your acquaintances have your best interests at heart. Look at the categories below to find out where your friends stand.

1. The discloser: He/she shares your secrets. While big mouths are common characteristics in many people, only the most brutal of those will share your private, hurtful secrets to others when you ask them not to.

2. The competitor: A little bit of competition is healthy and to be expected. An appropriate amount of competition will motivate and stimulate. But too much competition between friends starts to destroy the friendship. One of the primary ingredients in a positive friendship is that one or both friends feel that they can be themselves and that they don’t have to put on airs or impress one another.

3. The promise breaker: This friend constantly disappoints you or breaks promises, most likely because they were constantly disappointed during their formative years. For example, your friend takes up hours of your time with her problems on the phone, however, when you need a kind, listening ear, they are suddenly much too busy to chat.

4 . The double crosser: Your friend manipulates you. You are afraid that if you stop being their friend, they will try to hurt your social status and other relationships by spreading lies and making you out to be the evil one.

5. The self absorbed: Most of all, after hanging out or talking to this friend, you feel drained and discouraged. Friends should inspire you and invigorate your life, not pull you down into the dumps.

6. The fault finder: Nothing you do, say, or wear is good enough for this overly-critical friend. The fault finder was probably raised by extremely judgmental parents who were also rearing equally hypercritical siblings. Being criticised during her formative years laid the groundwork for an overly critical adult. It’s a hard trait to reverse, and your friend may even be unaware that she is so critical or that it annoys and upsets you so much.

Can you relate to any of these traits? If so, I am sorry to say you have a toxic friendship. Life is short. Love your friends and surround yourself with those that make your life better, happier and more enjoyable.

Shakira Thomas is the director for www.caribbeanchick.com “The Source For Savvy Chicks".

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