Whose Vagina Is It, Really?

By CECELIA CAMPBELL-LIVINGSTON All Woman writer

Monday, July 19, 2010

IMMERSED in Sandy Daley's book is frank advice for women who may have been facing issues with their bodies and sexuality all their lives. Daley hopes the book will make a difference in women's lives, so they understand that there are no barriers to gaining and maintaining control.

"There are so many barriers placed in front of us, and gaining and maintaining the control of our lives is a difficult but attainable thing. I hope that by highlighting some of the issues facing us in regards to money, power, sex, love and relationships, women will be able to make better choices for themselves," Daley told All Woman.

The inspiration for the book — Whose Vagina Is It, Really? — she said, came from the women who read her weekly column in the Street Hype newspaper out of New York.

"Each week as I wrote about things that concerned me in my own life and my girlfriends', I noticed that they could not get enough of what I had to say. They loved how I dealt with the issues of say a nasty and heart-wrenching break-up. The women who read my column — and even the men too — found the things that I had to say very interesting and with their encouragement and push, I decided to write a book for us."

If women do not walk away with anything else from the book, Daley said she hopes reading it will boost their self-esteem and help them to make better choices when it comes to men.

"Don't give yourself to everybody that comes your way because of lack of self-esteem and lack of good opportunities in front of you. Women are often placed in very undesirable positions in life because of the lack of money that they make and their status. I encourage women to finally take a stand for themselves and truly decide what is best for them — even without a man by their side if it comes to that. Make your own money, don't say yes to every man that wants to be with you and never, ever lower your standards to suit anyone."

Born in Kingston and raised by a single mother, Daley left Jamaica at 16 after completing sixth form at Wolmer's Girls. She migrated to Canada — Regina, Saskatchewan, to be exact. Looking back she describes the move as a "culture shock".

"They were not very familiar with Caribbean cultures and the children who came from such a background. The move was such a shock for me and I never got used to living in that city. Within a year after moving, I promptly picked up and moved to Toronto, leaving my mother, sister, brother and stepfather behind for the bright lights and much bigger city called Toronto."

It was in Toronto that Daley studied journalism.

Daley said it was natural for her to end up in the writing field as she fell in love with it as a child growing up in Jamaica. She describes time spent in the country reading novels and writing in the yard under an apple tree in Litchfield.

It was during this time she also took up acting, something she said she thoroughly enjoyed.

"I starred in the first feature film created by a black woman, Another Planet, where I learnt to speak French for my role. I love acting and producing and hope to make a sitcom soon about the lives of women and the struggles that we go through. My ambition and drive is something that I feel is an attractive trait, and the only person that I am competing with is myself."

With the release of her book Whose Vagina is it, Really? Daley is hoping it will fulfil its goal which is to "encourage women to really grasp the control that they have over their own lives".

"Follow no one, bow down to no one but yourself and God. Control your sexuality and your own money and when all that is all said and done, Mr Right will know that he has to come to you with respect," she said.

Since the book's release Daley said she is truly overwhelmed at the response.

"I knew that people would be interested in the book but I was shocked at the level of interest that this has garnered across the board. The orders are pouring in from all walks of life, and women are motivated and inspired. To say that I am honoured and moved would be an understatement, as I did not expect this at all."

Daley, who was in Jamaica a few weeks ago promoting the book, said it was an experience as there are many women who can relate to the sentiments expressed in the book.

But as much as she has a passion for writing that's not the only thing that she loves.

"My other love of course is hosting and producing radio and TV shows. I am a project-based individual, so putting together a story or a show is what I love to do. As a radio and TV host, it allows me to interact with people and to meet new folks. I also love to work out and dance. Getting down to a great tune in the middle of the living room floor while cooking, with the stereo at full blast is one of my favourite things to do. Letting loose is fun! I also love going to the movies with my children."

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Whose Vagina Is It, Really?