All Woman

Why he won't date you

Donna Hussey-Whyte

Monday, May 21, 2012    

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SO you're cute, a double degree holder, independent and going places. But no man is willing to give you the time of day, and it's perplexing, especially since your minimally attractive, chubby friend with the kid who dropped out of high school seems headed for the altar soon.

The mistake you're making, some men we polled said, is being unapproachable, which is not a trait that draws men to you, despite what you may deem to be your other assets.

"For many men, having a personality and exhibiting the traits of the Beatitudes trumps all else, and many women don't understand that," counsellor David Anderson said. "So you may wonder why your less attractive friend is settled down with a family and you're not, but she may have a bubbly personality and is good-natured with a set of values that draws people to her, and you may not have that."

Here are seven other reasons the men we spoke to gave for branding a woman unapproachable.

1. You're out of his league and you let him know. This man won't approach you because he feels you're out of his league, whether because of your profession, possessions, or your educational background. Worse, you let him know every chance you get. So he feels that he will never be able to live up to your standards or that he has nothing to offer you.

2. You look unapproachable. "Some women just look feisty and you know that it don't make sense to approach them because they're just going to insult you," Gregory L said. No matter how good you're looking in the club, if your nose is turned up and you look like you're in the eye rolling Olympics, men will fear approaching you for that getting-to-know-you talk.

3. You're always grumpy. If you're always sporting the screw face, this can be a big turn off to men seeking happiness from a relationship. All they'll see is a life filled with nagging if they get with you. "Don't find the negative in everything," Peter Allen said. "See the rainbow now and then. Smile at the world and the world will smile back at you."

4. You dress too provocatively. "A woman who dresses too provocatively and leaves nothing to the imagination is not my type," one man said. "This means she needs attention from everybody and that is not the type of woman I would want."

"Worse is when she posts these provocative photos on Facebook for attention," Etan Fuller said. "Who will take you seriously when you've posed, spread-eagled, in your lingerie at the beach and your 144 pervert friends are liking the pose?"

5. You lack self-confidence. "You can just look at some women and know that they don't really think much of themselves," Lloyd G said. "If she doesn't take care of herself how she going take care of me?"

6. You're fake. "If she is heavily made up, wears false lashes, false hair and false nails, that's a big turn-off," one man said. "I can't date a woman like that, because I can't fathom trying to decipher where's the real woman behind all that fluff."

7. He can't take you home to mom. "He will know right away whether you're the type he can take home to his mother," Steve Brown said. "If your speech or dress or attitude doesn't cut it, neither will you."

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