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Why you should forgive your lying, cheating, no-good ex

Donna Hussey-Whyte

Monday, October 08, 2012    

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MANY persons become so bitter after things end that they find it near impossible to forgive their exes. Some are so traumatised by the events leading up to the break-up, and then having to go through the different stages of grief that come with the separation, that they want nothing more than to see their exes pay dearly for putting them through such pain.

But while forgiveness isn't always easy, many experts recommend going the biblical route in order to cleanse, and forgive those who "sin against you".

"Forgiveness teaches us humility by giving us the opportunity to remember that we, too, mishandle others in relationships intentionally and unintentionally," life coach Cheryll Messam said. "And so we live our lives also in need of and benefiting from the forgiveness of others towards us."

The life coach endorsed these seven reasons why you should forgive your ex.

1. Forgiveness benefits you more than the one who is forgiven. You may even discover an inner strength you never knew you had, that allows you to deal with the situation with a smile rather than in pain.

2. You will feel a sense of freedom to move forward with your life, especially moving forward in a new relationship. The more you hold resentment towards your ex, the more you will be stuck in the past instead of creating a new future for yourself.

3. Forgiveness helps you to reclaim power over your life. Nothing is worse than having someone else dictate when you should be happy and when you should be sad. And so forgiveness takes that power away from the other party.

4. Forgiveness allows you to release difficult emotions, including blame, anger and grief, and allows you to accept things for what they really are.

5. Forgiving someone whom you had a bad break-up with will give you a sense of peace and the ability be kind to those around you instead of always being on the defensive.

6. The best way to get back at an ex is to be happy.

7. Once you have forgiven your ex you can look back at the relationship and learn from it — experience is the greatest teacher.





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