All Woman

Women confess...How I deal with jealousy

BY DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE All Woman writer husseyd@jamaicaobserver.com

Monday, December 31, 2012    

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IT happens to the best of us at some point or the other, in some form or the other in our relationships. It happens when a person feels that a relationship that is of importance to them is being threatened by someone outside the union.

Jealousy sometimes happens without warning, and the reaction of a jealous spouse can range from mild annoyance to the extreme, where life and limb are threatened.

"Jealousy in the relationship can run the gamut of mere expression of care, to extreme aggression and paranoia," Wayne Powell, relationship counsellor said.

Below, some women share how they deal with the green-eyed monster.

1. Dorain Phillips, 23:

Cuss. I will search his phone and bawl over the situation, even if I don't find anything there. Sometimes I just shut down and get silent, especially if I feel that he his lying about it. There are times when I will just cuss about unnecessary things that bear no relevance to the situation, just to start an argument.

2. Karen Hamilton, 35:

The moment I start feeling jealous I start to investigate. Many times after he drives out and says he is going somewhere, I call a taxi and head there too. Many times I have caught him with other women when he said he was going out with his brethren or going to work. I remember once he told me he was going to a party in St Ann with his friends and I paid a taxi and went to the location.

3. Paulette Richard, 47:

When I get jealous I do crazy things. I followed my boyfriend once and saw his car parked outside a woman's house. This was a woman I used to ask him about a lot. So I just took a big stone and threw it into the car window.

4. Stacy-Ann Bent 29:

I give him the silent treatment, then he will keep calling and asking what is wrong or will do anything to find out what is going on in my head. Then when I have had enough I confront him in private. I don't behave like some girls do by arguing and cussing the man.

5. Claudette Frazer, 44:

If I feel it merits it then I will confront the person. I try not to be jealous though, I don't really have a problem with that. But if I do feel that way and feel he can change the situation then I approach it calmly and tell him what I feel he should change about this particular person. Suppose I am uncomfortable about the way he talks to the person or I feel they spend too much time together? Then I ask him to not be so friendly because it affects me.

6. Maureen Thomas, 41:

When I get jealous it's as if I am going to go crazy. So right away I have to confront him. And if needs be and the woman looks as if she wants to show off on me, I confront her too. And that confrontation won't always be pretty! It's like I have to get it out of my system or I can't eat, I can't sleep, I just can't function.

7. Nordia Baker, 34:

I cry. I cry a lot. But I don't let him see me crying. Then I tell myself that he chose me and not the other person so I have no need to feel the way I do. That works sometimes, but not all the time.

8. Patsy Clue, 31:

I scheme. I will send her emails and basically stalk her, if I know the girl. For him, I will make his life a living hell, and make him hurt the way I hurt. No way will he cheat and I just accept it and move on.

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