Call me 'daddy'!
THE song Wetter (Calling You daddy) by Twista and Erika Shevon, makes the action of a man asking his woman to call him "daddy" seem sexy. In reality, a number of men insist on calling their woman 'mama' or they will ask their woman 'who's your 'daddy'?' during sex. Outside the bedroom it can raise psychological questions - why would he want to call you his 'mama'? Why would he want to be your 'daddy'? Is there some deep-seated Oedipal complex stuff going on that we don't know about?
Sex therapist Dr Sidney McGill says the reason men ask their women to call them 'daddy' during and outside of sex is that the role of a 'daddy' is to provide, protect and give a sense of security.
"What the man is saying to the woman (in telling her to call him 'daddy') is that 'I am in charge so we are OK'," Dr McGill says. "In fact, it is seen as an honour -- almost like a knighthood being bestowed on them (men)," he explains.
"Having her call him 'daddy' (during sex) has to do with submission and authority," the sex therapist adds. "It says that 'I am in charge. I will give you a spanking'."
In his view, the demand to be called 'daddy' is no different from being bound-up and whipped during the sex act.
Thirty-year-old Archibald says the name gives men an ego boost.
"It says that I am in control! I am the boss!," he tells All Woman. "Fathers usually have the respect of their daughters and so it also shows that the woman respect him. It really is a feel good thing."
He explains too that slapping the woman on the buttocks during sex, then asking her 'who is the 'daddy'?' is another way of showing his control over her.
For Wayne Reid, slapping, then demanding that his woman calls him 'daddy', is his way of 'disciplining' his woman - letting her know that he is taking charge during that particular act.
"Normally daddies beat or discipline their child. So that is your way to make them know you are the 'daddy' and that you are in a position to discipline them."
Dr McGill says sex has to do with a number of emotions, and slapping is another way of adding to the sensation.
He explains that from his observation, there is an increase in the slapping on the bottom of women by men during sex play, as the feeling is that a little pain actually adds stimulation to the act.
Psychologist Dr Leachim Semaj points to the view that because some men believe they are supposed to be the boss, whenever their women refer to them as 'daddy', it re-enforces that concept.
"It starts on the premise that if the man wishes to be perceived in a paternal and dominant image if she calls him 'daddy', she is automatically making herself subservient to him," he explains. "If the woman calls him that, it will re-enforce it and make him feel good."
And while the 'daddy' mentality is high on the list for some couples, 'mummy' is just as popular.
Twenty-three-year-old Leonard B admits to calling his 38-year-old girlfriend 'mummy', simply out of respect.
"She is like a mother figure. She will teach you stuff and always try to tell you the right thing," Leonard says. "I love and respect my mother, and I love and respect my girlfriend, so yes, she gets the rating of 'mummy' or 'mums'."
For him, it is not a title that he would give to just about anyone, but to the one person who has in fact earned it. This, he says however, doesn't transcend to the bedroom.