The life of the spoilt woman

By WAYNE A POWELL

Monday, February 22, 2010

LET us flip the script, from last week, and look at the life of the lazy, spoilt woman who totally depends on her man for emotional, psychological and financial support. She has never worked a day in her life except to push the trolley in the supermarket. She does not wash, clean nor cook as everything is done for her. She either hires someone to carry out those ''nail-damaging' chores or her loving partner does them all himself.

Such is the life of some well-to-do and some not so well-to-do women here in Jamaica. The well-to-do ones are born in affluence where it is customary for the males in the family to go out and work the money and the females sit back and enjoy the fruits of their (men's) labour. In many instances it is the male who spoils the woman and insists that his spouse should not work inside nor outside of the home. She is just to look pretty for him at all times. So she spends most of their time at the gym and at the beauty salons. She may or may not pick up the kids from school. If she complains, then that responsibility can be contracted out as well. Her favourite pasttime is shopping online and watching the "soaps" and reality shows on the satellite dish.

Women who are brought up in this kind of 'no care in the world' lifestyle will no doubt want to carry on the tradition by marrying men who are wealthy and who can afford to maintain their flamboyant lifestyle. Ever notice how the rich and famous marry each other so as to keep the love in the family?

Where you have some women who have a natural birthright to wealth, there are others who are from poor, humble backgrounds who envy their "prosperous" sisters and pressure their "not so well-to-do" spouses to provide them with similar trappings. She may have benefited from tertiary education and is more than qualified to get a descent job. She may have been dating a guy who is ambitious but does not have the means to own a car as yet. She drops him because according to her, "Mi nuh have nuh time fi struggle wid nuh poor man".

Gone are the days, they say, when man and woman would meet, fall in love and work together to make a life. Some women hold the strong view that "what is thine is mine and what is mine is mine", and so even if they work, their money is only to buy items for themselves, while the man is responsible for everything else. The man is also expected to provide her with a monthly personal allowance to take care of the visits to the beauty salon.

Woe be it for men who are too low budget to fulfil these wishes.

A word of advice is in order for the high-maintenance women who put their low-budget spouses under pressure to deliver.

*Remember the line in the vow says " for richer for poorer", so if the gentleman is unable to provide you with the good life due to his financial standing, work with him.

*Don't live beyond your means; so if your economic situation can only afford a "deportee" don't go to the new car dealers to order a $5- million SUV.

*If you own a credit card, manage it properly so that you don't put yourself or your spouse under pressure to pay back the amounts owing. Remember, don't put your hat where you can't reach it.

*If your partner is ambitious and tries his best with his limited resources to make you comfortable, appreciate him and his efforts. If he can only afford a rose stem at Valentine's, accept it in the spirit in which it was given. It is not so much the size of the gift but the thought behind it. Don't mind your friend whose husband can afford to give her the whole bunch.

*To be totally dependent on a man is not smart thing to practice. If there is a turn of events and your partner is out of the picture, you will feel like fish out of water.

*Try to do something outside of the home even if it is on part time or voluntary basis. It would be good for your sense of worth.

*Do some cooking occasionally. In the event the cook is sick and can't carry out her duties your spouse or children should not suffer in her absence. You should be able to fix a light meal that is palatable.

*Dispel this notion of having a man 'mind' you. It only creates a dependency syndrome which is not healthy.

*Be yourself and don't let your friends or associates define you. The days of keeping up with the Jones' are over.

*If you both work, share the funds evenly so that there are no unnecessary burdens on one party.

Wayne A Powell is a relationship counsellor. He may be contacted at crisiscounselloronline@gmail.com or www.crisscounselloronline.com.

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COMMENTS (5)

Ms. Lee B.
2/26/2010

You know - Jamaican women of all class and skin tones have always been very hard working - from the market-lady, higgler, bank clerk, shopkeeper, teacher, etc. This is even more pronounced as women become more economically independent.
So, if a man wishes to have a "kept woman" truly that is his business. If he is unhappy with this lazy woman (because believe me eventually the breasts will fall and the skin will become less tight and firm), he has a plethora of women in our society who are used to contributing to the welfare of the family.
Personally - I couldn't possibly be so lazy. If my husband does not wish for me to work the least I can do is go back to school and increase my level of education. What happens if he becomes tired of me? I move to another man and become a parasitic woman?

Ms. Lee B.
2/26/2010

You know - Jamaican women of all class and skin tones have always been very hard working - from the market-lady, higgler, bank clerk, shopkeeper, teacher, etc. This is even more pronounced as women become more economically independent.
So, if a man wishes to have a "kept woman" truly that is his business. If he is unhappy with this lazy woman (because believe me eventually the breasts will fall and the skin will become less tight and firm), he has a plethora of women in our society who are used to contributing to the welfare of the family and the greater society.
Personally - I couldn't possibly be so lazy. If my husband does not wish for me to work the least I can do is go back to school and increase my level of education. What happens if/when he becomes tired of me? I move to another man and become a parasitic woman?

Karen Lee
2/25/2010

its funny my mother did not want my mother to work...to stay home and be a housewife...he did provide for her, but lord its like she did not have any independence...after seeing that for years i decide i did not want that type of lifestyle. ...

Cindy Lee
2/24/2010

This article is so subjective & so off the mark on the real reasons why a woman lives a kept life that without looking who the author was, I could tell it was written by a man. Anyhoo, I know for a fact that social class is an influence in many relationships, hence as soon as a wealthy couple is married, many go into family mode - ie the female stays home to be the caregiver & her man provides for the family, so before u judge the lifestyle, u need to understand the dynamics.
As for the men out there who u claim are pressured by their women, give me a break. If he feels pressured he should be a man & rid his life of that woman, so please, don't even bother with the Adam & Eve scenario with this article. I can tell from this article that u support the use of the whole gold-digger theory which Steve Harvey so clearly state is used by men in order to avoid taking care of their women and family.
As for men who tell their women not to work, well this is clear cut, isn’t it – he needs to provide for her and the family. Don't pour scorn on something you obviously know nothing about. Instead have a discussion with a wealthy man whose wife doesn’t work & he'll tell u that it’s less about his wife going to the gym & ‘prettying’ up for him & more about the well-being and health of the family.
Get a clue please!

natalie white
2/24/2010

Whatever man, am so.. that kind of woman and don't care one iota what anyone thinks.

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