'Where I grew up, no means no'
A report on the return of three missing brothers in Clarendon, who ran away from their home on Sunday, has ignited a debate among Jamaica Observer online readers on the issue of discipline. The boys, ages 13, 11, and 8, ran away after the youngest was scolded by their mother and after a request for them to attend the Denbigh Agricultural Show in the parish was turned down. They reportedly went to a neighbouring community where they stayed in an old container. Here are some edited comments:
...I can understand one's sentiments towards the Denbigh Show. However, these kids were very disobedient and in doing so, they've put themselves and others in danger. A parent should not have to validate their reasons or lack of thereof for not granting a child his or her wishes.
...It's a child's right to obey his parents until he moves out of the house. In a country where kids go missing end up dead or abused, can you fathom what the parents were going through because of these disobedient boys?
Denbigh Show not nice again, they don't miss anything. They should listen to their mom who I believe was saving to send them back to school September morning in clean, new, expensive suits and taxi fares to and fro. Them unreasonable.
At 13 years old I was still under the control of my parents, I was scolded, I was asked to do tasks that I didn't like. I was intelligent enough to stick to it and not run away. At 13 I watched and listened to the news, I knew the dangers that were out there. I am now a well-trained professional who still faces challenges that I don't like.
...That mother has all the right in the world to raise her children the way she sees fit, and if she has to teach them a lesson by denying them the opportunity to attend this year's staging of the Denbigh show; then so be it.
I can't imagine the pain this couple must have gone through, in the days these children went missing...All's well that ends well... Parents, sometimes when you feel like scolding your children, use reverse psychology, and give them a hug instead...
I am glad for their safe return; I just could not deal with another child/children killed by some low-life. Mom and dad, start to have dialogue with your children, try to understand [what] their feelings are, what they are thinking.
What did they do to be told that they could not go to the show? Also, they stole from their mother and went and hid in an old container causing extra stress on the police and others. Although the parents are happy to see them again, they ought to be shown clearly what could have happened had a paedophile seen them or someone who was doing wrong things who would have reacted in ways we would rather not think about.
So parents cannot scold children in Jamaica anymore? What is even strange, apparently the parent cannot scold one child or the others will just run away. They are lucky the man with the tattoo is not on the run. Trust me, while I would be glad to see my kids alive, it could NEVER be business as usual if they were mine.
Back in the day when my parents denied me the chance to go out I had better take that denial and go find a seat somewhere. Nowadays children have all the rights to do everything regardless of how little sense it makes. We don't even know what preceded her denying them that opportunity.
Where I grew up, no means no. Why did these children disobey their parents, and let them have sleepless nights? Does this mean when parents say no, children can then run away because they don't get what they want?
1 The good news is they are alive. Thank God for that.
2 These kids have some serious problems.
3 They really need counselling as soon as possible, before they get older. They have to realise that it is not every thing in life that they want they can get. Also, it is not everything they want their parents can afford to give them.