A man for 2014
Nothing that can be,
Can come between me,
And the full prospect
Of my hopes.
— Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, III, 4
NOTHING at all will come between some people and their hopes, as the above quote says. And usually folks have high hopes whenever a new year dawns. Well, we're almost at the end of this year, and again I have to ask the question, where did the year go?
But almost gone it is, and in a few days' time it will be the dawn of a new year and with it the hopes and dreams of an entire nation. What am I saying about entire nation? I sound like a politician giving a new year's message. Let's be more specific and talk about the real hopes and dreams of the men and women who always express a certain hope at this time... moreso
What do men want for 2014? Money. And what do women want? A man. Need I go even further and say, a man with money? That should cover all the bases. At least that's what I heard from many women when I asked them what they wanted for the new year. "I want a man for 2014... nothing else."
I got this same response as I traversed the corridors of various offices, both in government and the private sector, and from ladies of different socio-economic classes. That's one thing they had in common. Not even one woman said that she wanted money or even a different job, but the theme was the same, "I want a man for 2014."
Why this heightened desire for 2014 is beyond me. Maybe it's a Leap Year, perhaps the numbers 2014 are significant, or is it just that all these women had their biological clocks in sync!? Whatever the reason, we'll find out exactly what type of men they want for 2014, right after these responses to 'Philogynists'.
Like you, I have grown up with and have had more women than men in my life. As a young kid, I was close to my mom and grew up with five sisters. I learned very quickly to respect and protect these females growing up. In my adult life, I had several women bosses and I was also a manager to many women and developed an appreciation for them.
My immediate family life is also filled with women, having a wife and two daughters who I love and who have had great influences in relating with other women. I believe it was Oscar Wilde who said, "Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood." I would like to think I am doing both.
Philogynist... I never heard the word before, but I like it.
It gives credence and recognition to the feeling that men have for women. In a world where so many men are afraid to express their true feelings, it's good to know that there actually is an old English word that says exactly who they are...and a positive one too. "Hello, I'm a philogynist....I love women." How wonderful for a woman to hear that from a man.
A few weeks ago, I was at the funeral of a dear friend, schoolmate and co-worker, Dennis Rainford, a former stalwart of the Jamaica Information Service. I really felt sad, for I saw him just two weeks before he succumbed to his illness. But I was lifted from my doldrums by some lady friends of mine who humorously took me on about my column, right there in the graveyard.
Now, these were all eminent, bright, educated, erudite women in society, but as all three surrounded me with only a headstone separating us, I had visions of Shakespeare's Macbeth, Act 1, Scene 1. Look it up. It was surreal, but they did manage to lift my spirits.
They all said in one voice, "Teerob, we don't read your column for you're too hard on women."
"When last did you read?" I asked.
"Oh, many, many years ago," came the reply.
I was amused but found their statement ironic, for I do know that most of my readers are women, based on the feedback that I get. Or could it be that more women are so miffed that they respond, while the men just sit back, agree with me, and smile?
Whatever the case, it's women who are always carping to me, cussing me, praising me, supporting me, wishing me well, or asking me to find men for them. As a parting note, the three ladies in the graveyard all chimed, "We still love you, Teerob, don't stop doing what you do."
In the case of the women who wanted men for 2014, this time they were different in their hopes and didn't just want any man for a man's sake. This time they were specific. Imagine my surprise when a lady said, "I want a sugardaddy for 2014, I'm tired of running around with bruk pocket men."
It took great honesty and courage for a woman to actually come out and say that, for even though a lot of women really want men like that, only a few would admit to it for fear of being labelled a gold digger. But we live in a new world, my friends, and this generation of women don't romp.
They know what they want and they go for it. As the saying goes, "A suh de ting set." A sugar daddy for 2014 would take care of all her needs; housing, clothing, transport, groceries, and cable TV. What more could a woman ask for?
But all women aren't like that, and some are willing to put in the emotional investment to be with a man. Some would love an old-fashioned man for 2014. Now, where in heaven's name is she going to find an old-fashioned guy in 2014? Didn't they go the way of the dinosaurs?
Not so, for there are women who still cling to the hope that there's a man for them who has the values of honesty, integrity, honour, good manners, good breeding and faithfulness. It's a tall order, but it's good to know that those qualities are still being sought after, even by a few women.
I say a few because I have observed that there are women who do not desire that kind of man. Maybe they think that he's too good to be true, or perhaps they can't appreciate him, based on the other men from their past whom they're used to. To her, he's just too decent, too soft.
Now, in contrast there are women, specifically very young women, who want a much older man for 2014. Why? Because there's a strong sense of security that these older men bring. Plus, they're so damn grateful that a young, pretty woman wants them that they'll do anything to keep her.
Just recently I was talking to this older friend who boasted of his new 25-year-old girlfriend. Now, this guy is way up in age, so I quickly did the mental math... and it didn't add up. When he saw the look on my face he quickly added, "Listen, I know there's no love involved and she's just in it for the money, but I'm having fun."
At least he wasn't being an old fool. The point is, some women seek out men like that and 2014 is open season for geriatric gyrations.
Then there are women who want a thug for 2014. These all fit into a typical mould of who you'd describe as tappanaris, high brown, upper middle class and young. It's difficult to comprehend, but I have quite a few friends whose daughters have gravitated to guys like those. And it's no one-off thing, for as soon as one relationship ends, they seek out another guy of the same ilk.
They either visit these guys on the fringes of the inner city, or bring them up to the suburbs and give mommy and daddy hypertension. It's a fascinating scenario and the young girls involved love it, while those who aren't, express a desire to have such a man in 2014.
Women have this wish list for 2014 and they're not afraid to outline what type of men they want. It's a story that will never change, but somehow there seems to be a higher demand for 2014.
Footnote: How gorgeous was Tessanne Chin as she captured the hearts of millions of Jamaicans and others too. How refreshing too, her honesty, naturalness and humility. I'm no waggonist, as I wrote about her exceptional talent when she almost upstaged Celine Dion at the Jamaica Jazz and Blues Festival.
As for that bad road remark, leave the girl alone. We do have some of the worst roads that would break a donkey's back. We do have great roads too, but she spoke in context of driving an SUV instead of a car. Where is our sense of humour?
I have a grouse with the Sportsman and Sportswoman of the Year awards selection panel, and it's in regards to martial arts. Nicholas Dussard and Danielle Chang won gold and silver respectively at the ISKA World Championships in Kyrenia, North Cyprus, last November. Yet, not even a nomination. For many years our martial artists struggle
Hey, have a great 2014, my friends; I owe you a great debt for reading my stuff and also for your feedback. Thank you for being there.