News
'I only had intercourse with daddy'
Adolescent, positive and a mother
BY PAULA SAMUELS
Monday, June 07, 2010
NINETEEN-year-old Pamela grew up in rural St Andrew. When she was 14 years old, she found out she was not only pregnant but also HIV positive. This is Pamela's story.
"The only sexual intercourse I had was with my daddy who had been abusing me for years. When my mother found out I was pregnant, I told her my father was the only person I had sexual intercourse with. Mommy still did not believe me and until today she still says I am a liar.
"My situation did not change after I had the baby. Daddy still had intercourse with me. Last year, I decided to run away from home because I wanted to be as far away as possible from him.
"I started a new relationship. Even though I had HIV, I really knew nothing about it, but knew that people who had it were scorned. I did not talk about it nor think about it and so I did not tell my boyfriend I had it.
"I am now 19 years old and with another baby. I was told during the pregnancy that I was HIV positive and that was when reality hit. I began to wonder if this is the end of my life and when I would die. I have no family support and I did not know any other positive person. I was basically left in the dark.
"I was very bitter about life and felt sour about myself. I kept wondering what I was supposed to do. The pain of all the things that happened to me was great. I really felt like I couldn't make it.
"I continue to struggle through my days. The pain is still there but I have come to realise that there is life after HIV. I am now getting support from Eve for Life, an organisation that supports women living with HIV.
"The organisation contacted me at a time when things were really bad. I did not know there could be joy in my life again. It is as if I have found life again. I realise I had some hope, even though there are some challenging times.
"I am now thinking about picking up the broken pieces of my life and continuing on my journey. I still do not have a relationship with my mother, but I hope this will change in the near future."
Pamela is part of Eve for Life's I am Alive Club and also participates in a programme for adolescent and youth mothers living with HIV. The latter is sponsored by the US Ambassador's Fund and provides one-on-one counselling for the young mothers, group support and skills building in parenting, positive prevention and sexual and reproductive health and rights.
Co-ordinator of the programme Joy Crawford explained that "HIV-positive young mothers are extremely vulnerable because of their unique situation of being adolescents. Our programme is designed not just to give them information, but to model and coach positive life skills".
As such, the programme utilises mature HIV-positive women who act as mentors for the young women and positive reinforcements to facilitate changes in behaviour and attitude.
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6/7/2010
Well I'm truly sorry for what your father did to you, however if he gave you this disease chances are your mother would have the disease, if being in a relationship with him. Now to validate your claim that you got HIV from your father, that would have to be investigated. You on the other hand is well aware of the fact that HIV means death in the long run and still went on to give this disease to someone who I would assume helped you for the good. You should be arrested and charged!
6/7/2010
What a vicious cycle: First the dad gave it to her, then she hid it from the boyfriend. The mother sits there in denial and she probably has it as well. What will become of the babies? And where is her father? He deserves a stiff punishment for his evil and disgusting behaviour.
6/7/2010
Girl, you should have told your new boyfriend that you were HIV positive. He trusted you and now you have scarred his life too.
As for your father, the only thing I have to say is that he need to be publicly hanged or electricuted.
As for your mother, she has no model character. She too would have been HIV Positive and she should be sentenced to hard labor.
Your parents need to both pay for their crimes
6/7/2010
Totally unacceptable behaviour. Totally illegal. Totally immoral and wrong. The man should be imprisoned.
6/7/2010
I'm glad that Eve for Life is making a difference in Pamela's life "now". Something needs to be done in regards to the dirty father and counseling/intervention with her mother and Pamela's boyfriend.
6/7/2010
i would not be too hard on this young lady. i have met some very naive girls. they live very sheltered lives, especially in rural parishes. i know these things happens and it takes a strong will to fight these incestuous practices. girls need to learn to speak out at the first sign of abuse, talk to someone at a mere sexual suggestion, before the abuse starts.
6/7/2010
This story remind me of the movie "Precious". Either ways most mothers don't believe because they are scared of loosing there man!!! At times some do believe, but because of the attachment with the man, the woman will forced herself to believe her child story is false. @bless Williams, to some extent u r correct, just imagine the predicament of her boyfriend when he finds out he have, especially if he is a good person.It's time females star demanding there man to wear condoms and be honest
6/7/2010
Something about this story doesn't ring true, are the quotes direct, as is indicated or are they rewritten by the reporter ?. If this is a fictional " story ", then it should be stated by the writer. I know that situations like this may be true, but I have my doubts on this one.
6/7/2010
I understand what "bless's" concern, but what puzzles me over the years is that why do some mothers disbelieve when they hear these stories from the daughters I just cant fathom such (I dont even know what to call it) whenever I hear it. OMG!
6/7/2010
'bless williams' did you take the time to read the article? Because your comment is in no way a reflection of what was actually written.
The child was raped by her father ever since she was 14 years old and got pregnant by him.
Why is this pedophile not behind bars and still passing on his disease to innocent victims.
6/7/2010
@ Bless, i guess you condone the part that she was not protected but abused by her parents. Read again and realize this is a CHILD who knew nothing about HIV. Read again and realize that this is an abused CHILD. What makes me sick is people like you who fail to see the root of the problem. Thank God they are organizations and individuals who can help this BROKEN CHILD 'cause she would suffer more at the hands of people like Bless Williams.
6/7/2010
how come I don't hear this young girl say she gone to the police to have this dirty pervert been arrested for what he done this has always been the problem mother shield their husband and disband their child who need help to deal with those situation that scar them life if my step dad was alive there is no way i would not have him persecuted for what he put me through my hearth goes out for you girl and glad you getting help good luck don't let him et away with it pervert.
6/7/2010
It's unfortunate your dad abused you and gave you HIV. Now your dad has it, mom, probably both your kids and you knowingly gave it to your boyfriend which is just as bad.
6/7/2010
you gave your boyfriend the disease without the man having any knowledge am i to feel sorry for you.people like you spreading your diseases makes me sick.you have AIDS use protection or make sure you tell your partner your HIV positive.
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