Dear Eve,

Can an HIV positive person continue a normal sex life considering the fact that they use a condom? Also, is there a special type of condom for persons living with HIV?

Thanks

TS

Trinidad

Dear TS,

Thanks for your letter. I will answer the first part of your question first.

A normal sex life for an HIV positive person is more than condom use. Some factors that affect one's sex life is your view on sex after infection. Many persons initially blame sex for their status and vow never to have sex again. This poses a challenge to forming new sexual relationships or to continuing in current ones.

Disclosure of one's HIV status or the status of your partner can be another challenge to a "normal sex life". Feelings of guilt, anger, revenge, fear and grief are some emotions experienced by the person who is newly diagnosed. Infection and re-infection become issues of concern. A couple who did not use condoms before will need counselling and condom negotiation skills. The use of antiretroviral medications can also impact on the sex life of a positive person. Some report increased libido that prove difficult to manage.

What is important is that once you decide to engage in sexual activities, barriers such as condoms, dental dams, finger cots and lubricants should become a part of your commodity kits. This should be discussed and accessed via a health care or support service provider.

However, it is my informed opinion that all infected HIV persons should use a condom every time they engage in sexual activity. This is not only to prevent their partner from getting the virus, but it acts as a protective device for them. If two HIV-infected persons are engaging in sexual activity they should use a condom. There are different strains of the virus that one can be infected with. Also, there is the issue of your 'viral load'. If you have unprotected sex, you can get more of the virus in your system that might complicate your infection.

Also, there are many Jamaicans who have never been tested and therefore do not know that they are infected. It is important to explore safer sex options and to create an environment for honest, open discussion around sex. Yes, the HIV-positive person can have a "normal "sex life, but always remember to use a condom to protect yourself.

Is there a special type of condom for a person living with HIV?

No. The latex condom for the male and the polyurethane for the female are safe and effective barriers against HIV infection for the entire population. The flavoured condoms that are used for oral sex should not be used during vaginal or anal sex as they are not effective barriers against HIV.

For condoms to be effective they should be stored properly (not in a wallet or a car left out in the sun), they should not be opened with a sharp instrument or your teeth, they should be put on properly ('pinch, leave an inch and roll') and the expiry date should be checked.

Yours sincerely,

Rosie Stone

Rosemarie Stone has been living with HIV for more than 15 years. You can send her your questions relating to HIV and AIDS issues to info@eveforlife.org or write to Dear Eve, C/O Jamaica Observer, 40 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5.

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