Dear Eve,

I have been reading your column and am happy someone is doing something to keep the subject alive. I am a lesbian and can hardly find any information about safer sex for my community. I am living with my partner, she is HIV-positive and I love her very much. We have been kissing and now want to take it to the next level. Can you tell us how to have sex safely? Am I really at risk for STI since I am not with a man?

Woman in love

Dear Woman in love,

I am happy to know that you are thinking about safe sex. Safe sex is an activity through which you are at no risk of becoming infected with HIV or a Sexually Transmitted Infection [STI]. As you might know, lesbians are not at high risk of becoming infected with HIV through woman-to-woman sex. However, the risk goes up if you inject drugs and share needles. Also, some lesbians use sex toys and this sexual practice can be high risk if the sex toys are shared. So it is not a good idea to share sex toys with each other. You can make them safer if you put a condom over them. During the sexual activity if the toy is switched from one person's body to the other, a new condom should be put on.

HIV is found in blood and sexual fluids of an infected person and in the breast-milk of an infected woman. HIV infection occurs when sufficient amounts of these fluids get in the body of an uninfected person. It is going to be up to you and your partner to ensure that none of her body fluids are allowed to enter your body to infect you.

The risk of contracting HIV through oral sex is not very high, but there is an increased risk if your partner has cuts or sores in her mouth or on her genitals. A dental dam (a square of latex or cling film) can be used as a barrier against fluids. Some suggest that a condom cut open and spread flat can also be used.

You should remember that any activity that can lead to bleeding, such as cuts or breaks in the lining of the vagina or anus, is risky. Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI), such as herpes, genital warts or thrush are just as common for lesbians as for women who have sex with men. Close skin contact, touching or through sharing sex toys can be vehicles for contracting some of these infections.

I wish you all that safe sex has to offer you. Be safe.

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