My friend needs support

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Dear Eve,

I have a friend who is HIV-positive and she lost her self-esteem and everything with it. She looks emaciated because she worries and rarely eats. She is self-conscious about her appearance but I don't know how to help. I have called the clinic on numerous occasions just to get some information on the AIDS support group but reach nowhere as they kept saying to call back. I think she has given up on life. Please don't publish my e-mail address. I just want her to know others she can relate to and to provide some form of comfort.

Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend,

Your friend might have lost her self-esteem but she has you to advocate for her. As someone who has been very ill I know what it feels like to be completely blown away by one's physical disrepair. At that time I found it difficult to stand upright. Believe me, it is hard to be upbeat when you are feeling so rotten. I hope your friend is taking her medication as this will ensure that the physical body can begin to repair.

You say that she looks slim and rarely eats; her doctor would be able to diagnose the particular problem that relates to your friend. I know that in the early days after I got ill [after 1997] my appetite just deserted me from time to time. I remember my sisters and friends spending long hours trying to get me to eat or drink something but it was so difficult for me to even try. Eventually, as I felt physically better, my ability to feel for food came back slowly.

Like you I believe that your friend would benefit from a support group. I will e-mail you with the particulars of one that is closest to your town. You are providing a safe place for your friend together with helping her to find the tools that might eventually lead her to be herself again. Continue to be patient and understanding. You are a friend indeed.

When to get tested after unprotected sex

Dear Eve,

I have had unprotected sex. When is the best time to have a HIV test?

Dear Reader,

If you are infected with HIV your immune system starts producing anti-bodies to fight the virus. It can take some time for the immune system to develop enough antibodies for the test to detect. This period of time is usually referred to as the 'window period' and this varies from individual to individual. For most people it takes two weeks to eight weeks. For others it takes up to 12 weeks [three months]. In other words, if you test during your window period you may get a negative result. So you can test as soon as you want but you should bear in mind the 'window period'.

Please visit your doctor for further details or call the HIV/STI Helpline at 1888-9914444.

You can send your questions or comments relating to HIV or related issues to info@eveforlife.org or write to Eve for Life, C/O Jamaica Observer.

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My friend needs support