Jamaica Observer http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/ JamaicaObserver.com, the most concise and in-depth website for news coverage on Jamaica and the Caribbean. Updated daily 7 days a week, 24 hours a day en-us copyright Jamaica Observer, 2011 Which professionals are best in bed? http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Which-Professionals-are-best-in-bed-_93393 SCIENTIFICALLY, the hypothesis that one can judge a man&rsquo;s prowess in bed merely by his profession may be proven baseless, but still many women swear by this theory. In fact, there is a popular Jamaican belief that men in uniform, for example, are superior beings in the bedroom, as they know how to take charge. <br /> <br /> What do women believe? All Woman asked some of its female readers to share which profession tends to have the best lovers/studs, and this is what they had to say:<br /> <br /> Nordia, 27, teacher: <br /> <br /> Managers, doctors and lawyers. Any of these three, I believe, usually make not just good lovers, but long-term partners. They are usually on the whole very pleasant. They know how to be powerful and domineering, but not overbearingly so. They are also very good communicators, which is a plus in the bedroom. They are also very concerned about your well-being, are great kissers, and they always seem to know where and how to touch. <br /> <br /> Kemeisha, 23, customer service rep: <br /> <br /> I beg to differ on any suggestion that men in suits are some of the best in bed. What I will advise you is to get a professional footballer. They know how to keep up, oh yes &mdash; they know how to keep it and you up. They are always so energised, so if you are the marathon type, then these men would be God&rsquo;s gift to you. They also seem to be the manual builders of sex positions. I don&rsquo;t know where they pull it from, but there is always something new coming. They focus on what they have to do, they take their time, and they are very good at what they do. So don&rsquo;t just get a baller, get a professional. <br /> <br /> Shanice, 22, university student: <br /> <br /> Firemen. They are the ones who nobody really thinks of, but let me tell you, ladies, they will put it on you real good. <br /> <br /> Mitchell, 38, nurse: <br /> <br /> I love military men. From my experience, I theorise that with them often away from their families, when they finally come home they will bring heaven and earth in that room. They make it so good that it will serve you until you get &lsquo;serviced&rsquo; again. <br /> <br /> Andrea, 32, manager: <br /> <br /> I have the &lsquo;hots&rsquo; for executive chefs. Have you seen how they can flip that skillet? Well, they can flip more than that skillet, and I guarantee when it&rsquo;s done you will be wanting more. Also, they pay attention to detail, they are gentle. You ever see how they take their time to season that meat? It&rsquo;s the same bedroom vibe, and then there is a balance because they know how to rough it up too. Have you ever seen how aggressive they look when saut&Atilde;&copy;ing a pan of veggies? If you haven&rsquo;t, you should at least YouTube some and you would see what I am getting at.<br /> <br /> Jody-Ann, 34, sales representative: <br /> <br /> Give me a man in uniform any day. They are very romantic and kinda wild in bed. They live off fantasies and are willing to try new things. This is why sex is so great with them. These qualities make sex fun and entertaining. <br /> <br /> Jinell, 29, receptionist: <br /> <br /> Men in uniform are overrated. It&rsquo;s true that some are good, but I think the best are men in suits. Why them haffi look so good? Not just that, but speaking from experience, they know how to put it down on you. They will press you out real good, take the time to button you up, and still have time to straighten you out. I guess you can say wearing a suit teaches them a lot. Oh, and this is true regardless of penis size, they just know how to work it like they work those suits. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733457/266119_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Ranking Lieutenant Colonel Dionne Smalling http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Ranking-Lieutenant-Colonel-Dionne-Smalling_93130 SHE believes in not letting your circumstances determine your outcome. As a result, despite the challenges and obstacles she had to endure along the way, this steadfast woman gradually rose to the rank of lieutenant colonel, making her the second woman in the history of the Jamaica Defence Force (JDF) to ever hold that position.<br /> <br /> Raised in the deep rural farming community of Glenbrook, Westmoreland, Lieutenant Colonel Dionne Smalling, 44, told All Woman that ever since childhood she has always aimed to achieve excellence because of the reality she faced.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;We were very poor, but really proud. If we were hungry we couldn&rsquo;t eat from [other] people. We couldn&rsquo;t go to anybody&rsquo;s house and say yes if they asked if we wanted food. I knew that, and part of that defined me,&rdquo; she said.<br /> <br /> As a result, at the age of eight when she left Glenbrook to live with her mother in Spaldings, Manchester, the values of dignity, self-respect and loyalty to family stuck with her. As such, it came as no surprise that after leaving Knox College, when her mother developed multiple sclerosis, she opted to work and care for her.<br /> <br /> Later, while in a civilian post, she would interact with soldiers who did business with the company, and they helped her to understand what the JDF had to offer. She said that this, coupled with brochures on the JDF she had seen, piqued her interest and she applied.<br /> <br /> As fate would have it, Smalling said it took her almost a year to get in, but because she wanted it so badly, she had faith and hoped for the best. The rest, as they say, is history.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;At Newcastle I didn&rsquo;t think about what I had to do, I just knew I had to get through. I trained as an officer with an intake of over 100 men, and I was the only female. Though a lot was expected from me, it was really encouraging. <br /> <br /> &ldquo;I realised it was a whole new way of life, and the provisions that came with it would allow me a larger purview of Jamaica. What also appealed to me was that I would be doing something different, as I never wanted to be like everybody else. It would afford me a career to be different from the traditional woman, and that appealed to me.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> Now a part of the JDF for 24 years, Smalling, also a graduate of the Royal Military College, Sandhurst, UK, has worked in the JDF Air Wing, Support Battalion, First Engineer Regiment and Information Technology departments before assuming her current role as senior staff officer with responsibility for finance and logistics at Headquarters.<br /> <br /> She also holds a Bachelor of Science degree in computer science, tripled with a Master of Science in national security and strategic studies from the University of the West Indies, and a Master of Military Arts and Science degree in history and strategy from United States Command and General Staff College.<br /> <br /> She credits her promotion to the rank of lieutenant colonel to the other women in the JDF who paved the way for her.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;I was six months pregnant when I was promoted, so any talk of discrimination or inequality in the JDF &mdash; that puts that right to rest. I was as much a woman as I could be. But there were so many more outstanding women before me who proved women could do the work. Where I am today is a direct consequence of what women who served before me did &mdash; they paved the path so others could see that women were capable. I am deeply indebted to those women,&rdquo; she said, adding that mentors such as Naval Captain Sydney Innis and Brigadier David Cummings have been a tremendous help.<br /> <br /> Though she emphasises that there is no issue with equality in the JDF, she declares that outside of work she is passionate about women being seen as equal. She also hopes to pursue gender-related studies in order to help formulate policies that can advance women.<br /> <br /> Besides the JDF, Smalling enjoys spending time with her family and going on excursions.<br /> <br /> Also responsible for women&rsquo;s affairs at JDF, Smalling prides herself on encouraging women to look beyond their circumstances and see challenges as ways to push themselves even harder.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;I say work hard, be kind and be positive. Also remember that it doesn&rsquo;t matter where you started, you can achieve,&rdquo; she said. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733475/265972_92206_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Property matters http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Property-matters_93522 DEAR MRS MACAULAY,<br /> <br /> I am 25 years old. I have been in a relationship with my husband for the past four and half years, but we have only been married for five months.<br /> <br /> Before we met he was in a 13-year relationship with the mother of his children. In 2008 he purchased a house, and he named the mother of his children as his beneficiary on the title. However, they separated in 2011. During the separation they split most of the assets acquired during their relationship.<br /> <br /> Recently he went to have her name removed from the title. He was told that she would have to agree, and that he would need to get a lawyer involved. My question is, if he should pass away, would I be entitled to his portion of the premises?<br /> <br /> The answer to your question would depend on what kind of tenancy they hold on the property. If it is joint tenancy, you would not get anything because they would both hold the entire interest in the property, and when one of them dies, then the whole property would, in law, belong to the survivor. I wonder, though, how this property was left out of the splitting of their assets.<br /> <br /> Anyway, If they hold the title as tenants-in-common, then they each hold their interests separately, and so you could get his interest if he didn&rsquo;t have any children and died intestate (without leaving a will) or if he leaves it to you in his will (which he can do even if though he has children).<br /> <br /> I would, however, advise him to have her name removed. He should retain a lawyer to assist him to do so if he feels that she will not consent to this being done. He can get her name removed and substitute yours, which is what he probably wanted to do recently. If she will agree to sign a deed of transfer before a justice of the peace, then the whole experience would be a simple one. If she refuses, he would have to make an application to the court for a declaration that the property is solely his, because for instance, he only put her name on it for convenience and there was no intent to pass an interest in the property, nor was there any agreement or understanding that this would be done, and finally, that he solely purchased the property without any input by her in any way or form.<br /> <br /> He must in the same application ask for an order that she should sign a deed of transfer and that if she fails to do so within 30 days of its delivery to her, then the Registrar of the Court is empowered to sign in her stead.<br /> <br /> This is why he ought to consult a lawyer if she does not agree to just sign the transfer before a justice of the peace or a lawyer. I hope your husband does the sensible thing and obtains legal advice this time before he decides to act or not to act.<br /> <br /> Good luck.<br /> <br />  <br /> <br /> Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public, and women&rsquo;s and children&rsquo;s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5. All responses are published. Mrs Macaulay cannot provide personal responses.<br /> <br /> DISCLAIMER:<br /> <br /> The contents of this article are for informational purposes only and must not be relied upon as an alternative to legal advice from your own attorney.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733481/266401__w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Endometriosis from a man&rsquo;s perspective http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Endometriosis-from-a-man-s-perspective_93091 BACK in 2009 when illness struck Shauna Fuller, her then boyfriend Ricardo Clarke, now her husband, was devastated.<br /> <br /> Clarke told All Woman that he was then living in Atlanta and had planned to come home, but when he got the call that Fuller was seriously ill, his life went into a tailspin.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;She got really sick when she was my girlfriend. I got the call, left my job earlier, and flew down. Her lung collapsed and she had to be hospitalised, so we went to Florida for treatment, then she went through surgery. The day she had the surgery I cried; probably the most I&rsquo;ve ever cried in my life. After I saw her in the ICU and walked out and saw her mother, we just cried and cried. Hearing her lung was collapsed for over a year, and was the size of a tennis ball, it was traumatic. I couldn&rsquo;t do anything to help her. I didn&rsquo;t know what was happening or what was going on. Seeing her with a tube down her throat was shocking. You can imagine &mdash; a week before we had been living our lives, and now it was frustration, sadness, trying to figure out if she would be OK or would need to walk with a machine to breathe properly,&rdquo; he said.<br /> <br /> But it wasn&rsquo;t until 2010 that the diagnosis was confirmed &mdash; his fianc&Atilde;&copy;e was suffering from endometriosis. Clarke said that he was hearing that word for the first time. Right away he began researching it to see what they were dealing with &mdash; the symptoms, the distress, and the treatment available. Though relieved to some extent, he admitted that he was totally confused while still trying to come to terms with this mysterious affliction.<br /> <br /> That same year, the couple tied the knot. Eventually, as more information became available to them through the Internet and networking with other survivors, they decided to start the BASE Foundation in 2013 &mdash; a local support group for women with endometriosis. <br /> <br /> &ldquo;It was really because there was no information locally. She had to go online, find other women with it, and see what was happening. So doing this was helping to promote awareness and offer support locally. When we started we had an overflow. There were so many women who came forward to say they had the disease. We set up the website, a Facebook page, and a physical support group,&rdquo; Clarke said.<br /> <br /> Now approaching their seventh wedding anniversary, Clarke said the journey has been good and he&rsquo;s in it for the long haul.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Shauna is a strong woman, so she made it as easy as it could be for me; she didn&rsquo;t complain. People have asked how come I stayed with her, and that was really never a thought, even though we hadn&rsquo;t been married at the time. [Leaving her] was never a thought; rather, it was like this is the situation [and] we need to fix it. My family values and lessons from siblings played a big part. My brother Damian once ran for Jamaica, and seeing him train and strive for everything he wanted in life, not shying away from tough situations &mdash; subconsciously that was embedded in me. Also, my mom and dad never took the easy route, so I knew I had to deal [with it]. I never knew how, but this was the road I had to take, and I spoke to my family as well as Shauna&rsquo;s and was as open as I could be,&rdquo; Clarke said.<br /> <br /> He added: &ldquo;Within the last two to three years we found that what works for her is acupuncture, diet, exercise, in addition to the regular medical treatments. By eating better and exercising more, she&rsquo;s been relatively pain-free for the past two years. It&rsquo;s tough, I worry about her, and she comes first. It&rsquo;s difficult for me, because when it really hits there&rsquo;s nothing I can do.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> Clarke also shared that this year&rsquo;s Endo march was scheduled to take place in Montego Bay on March 25, and asked members of the public to continue educating themselves about the disease.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;It&rsquo;s more than just &lsquo;I don&rsquo;t feel good and my stomach hurts&rsquo;. [Some] people have taken their lives because of endometriosis, relationships have been broken. Every year we hold a march to bring more awareness to this disease. The first year we did it, Jamaica was in the top five participating countries. Get educated. Begin to have the conversation, and stop being afraid to talk about periods. There&rsquo;s no cure, but once you&rsquo;re aware, you know how to treat it to your specific case.&rdquo; http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733480/265535_92193_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Things you should never do if you want to preserve your relationship http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Things-you-should-never-do-if-you-want-to-preserve-your-relationship_92703 ACHIEVING and maintaining balance even in a healthy relationship can be quite difficult. There are many elements to ensuring balance, and you will have to be very careful to ensure that you keep things afloat.<br /> <br /> Keeping balance means that there are a number of things that are simply off limits, says relationship counsellor Wayne Powell.<br /> <br /> So, please:<br /> <br /> Don&rsquo;t:<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Neglect your responsibility to look out and care for your partner<br /> <br /> The moment you enter a relationship, especially an exclusive relationship where there is a mutual understanding that you are committed to each other, this automatically means that you are a team. The first rule of being on a team is knowing that at all times you should have each other&rsquo;s back, supporting each other when he or she needs you to be there, and in general just making yourself available to your partner. If or when you fail to do that, you have abandoned a most important part of your relationship obligations.<br /> <br /> Make unrealistic demands and expectations of your partner<br /> <br /> Demands, when fair and mutually agreed, are fine, but do not try to give your partner a &ldquo;basket to carry water&rdquo;. It is no secret that as humans we can sometimes be unreasonable and put unnecessary strain on a partner to do things we would appreciate, asking them to go against their beliefs, or expecting them to give up on their own dreams to support ours. If there are challenges, work on developing a system of meeting each other halfway or reaching a compromise. <br /> <br /> Physically and emotionally abuse your partner<br /> <br /> Always explore conflict resolution methods when handling disagreements with your partner. You are both humans with unique desires and belief systems, and as such there are things you won&rsquo;t always agree on. However, never resort to violence. The moment you think it is okay to verbally or physically abuse your partner, that is the day your relationship becomes toxic. It is never okay to destroy the people that you love, and if you feel there is a need to do this, then it&rsquo;s best to move on. People outgrow each other, and that is okay. <br /> <br /> Disregard your partner&rsquo;s opinion and ideas<br /> <br /> In a relationship, each partner is equal, and that means that each person has a right to be heard. No partner should feel that it is their duty to make all the decisions about everything unless the other partner agreed to it. Each person&rsquo;s ideas should be accepted, discussed and the best one selected. You should never make your partner feel like his or her ideas carry no value, or are stupid, because not only will this affect you, but it will also affect the person&rsquo;s self-esteem and confidence levels and extend beyond your intimate walls to family, friends and even co-workers. <br /> <br /> Betray your partner&rsquo;s trust and confidence<br /> <br /> Trust is one of the core values in your relationship. Just as how you pray to God or you write in your diary and expect that things will remain between you and God or your diary, it is the same kind of trust that your partner expects to have in you. They expect you not just to keep confidential information shared between you two, but for you to stay true to commitments and other promises made, both formal and informal.<br /> <br /> Share certain private matters with others, especially on social media<br /> <br /> There was a time when people would go to their diaries or a trusted family member or friend to vent, but nowadays social media has almost completely replaced these approaches. Couples, moreso women, often fill their status updates with expressions of how they feel about something their partner has done, sometimes even without first letting their partner know how they feel. This is giving strangers a 3D experience of what is happening in your relationship. You give people a chance to badmouth your partner, to play on his insecurities as well as yours, and in general, you break a big privacy clause.<br /> <br /> Neglect to compliment your partner and express your love not only in words but in actions<br /> <br /> Sometimes you become so complacent in your relationship that you neglect to do the little things that contributed to the reason your partner fell in love with you. You no longer compliment him on how handsome he looks when he shaves, or tell her how sexy she looks when she goes out of her way to dress up in new lingerie. The kisses on the forehead no longer happen, and the cute messages sent during the day disappear as well. Remember, always try to keep your relationship fresh, and make it difficult for your partner to fall out of love with you.<br /> <br /> &mdash; PENDA HONEYGHAN http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733455/264802_92190_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Is it better exercise inside or outside? http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Is-it-better-exercise-inside-or-outside-_93320 THERE are many benefits to be gained from exercising &mdash; it boosts energy, decreases stress levels, relieves tension and reduces risk of diseases. Your activities can be done inside or outside, but is one more effective than the other?<br /> <br /> According to fitness coach Rohan Gordon, when you weigh the pros and cons of working out inside or outside, neither is necessarily better than the other. It depends on many factors such as a person&rsquo;s work schedule, physical build and health condition. It&rsquo;s up to the individual to choose which one works better for them. Below are some of the advantages and disadvantages of indoor and outdoor exercising that Gordon highlighted.<br /> <br /> Indoor exercise<br /> <br /> Advantages<br /> <br /> &bull;It is secure. There is no need to worry about being robbed.<br /> <br /> &bull;Perfect environment. You never have to wonder about rain or the hot sun.<br /> <br /> &bull;Flexible &mdash; you are free to exercise anytime, night or day.<br /> <br /> &bull;If you reside in a polluted area, there is no risk of allergies being triggered.<br /> <br /> Disadvantages<br /> <br /> &bull;Can be costly. Running exercise machines like the treadmill can run up the electricity bill. Also gym membership fees can be expensive.<br /> <br /> &bull;Poor air quality. There is no fresh air coming in, so you are breathing in stale air.<br /> <br /> &bull;Some people like to interact with others, as this motivates them. However, exercising at home does not necessarily allow this.<br /> <br /> &bull;Limited space. There might not be enough space indoors to do certain exercise moves such as running, jogging, brisk walking and lunges.<br /> <br /> Outdoor exercise<br /> <br /> Advantages<br /> <br /> &bull;Workouts done outside are more challenging because of the terrain. <br /> <br /> &bull;There is enough space to do workouts.<br /> <br /> &bull;Outdoor exercise gives you natural vitamin D from the sun.<br /> <br /> &bull;You burn more calories because of the resistance from the wind.<br /> <br /> Disadvantages<br /> <br /> &bull;If you live in a volatile area, you might risk being robbed.<br /> <br /> &bull;Changes in the weather can affect your health. For example, exercising in the rain can give you the flu or a cold.<br /> <br /> &bull;Pollen in the air can trigger sinusitis.<br /> <br /> Whatever location you choose, bear in mind the benefits to be derived from regular exercise. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733497/266117_92208_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Reducing breast size with fitness http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Reducing-breast-size-with-fitness_93129 Dear Donovan,<br /> <br /> I would like to lose some weight and also reduce my breast size, because each time I gain weight it all goes in my breasts. I am tired of it and would just like to lose some weight and be fit. I try to eat healthy by eating fruits and vegetables, and I am sometimes just too busy to eat breakfast. I would like some suggestions on how to reduce my breast size without doing surgery or taking pills.<br /> <br /> It is normal when people gain weight that it might be more noticeable in some areas compared to other areas. For some people, it might show on their face, bottom, hips, etc, which are more noticeable with weight gain. In your situation, it is your breasts that get fuller. The good news is that you tend to lose weight faster from the areas in which you gained weight when you do a weight loss programme. This means that if you start losing weight, your breasts will become smaller. <br /> <br /> Studies have shown that the best way to lose weight and keep it off is to develop a healthy lifestyle. This involves eating properly and exercising. In order for you to lose weight you will have to reduce your caloric intake and increase your calorie-burning activities. This means that your diet and exercise programme is crucial. <br /> <br /> In terms of your food intake, you mentioned that you were eating fruits and vegetables, but what else are you eating? In addition, you are skipping breakfast, which is not good. This can cause you to be very hungry at lunchtime and you might eat a little more than you intended to consume. In addition, not eating breakfast could also contribute to ulcers. <br /> <br /> Without knowing the full details about your eating habits, I would suggest that you start off with portion control of your food intake. This means that you reduce the portion of your regular meal sizes. For example, lunch could be cut into two, with half eaten for lunch and the other half eaten for dinner.<br /> <br /> It is also important not to eat too late. It is best to have your last meal at about 7:00pm. In addition to your fruits and vegetable intake, it is also a good idea to incorporate more light soups, vegetable salads, yoghurts and green juices into your diet. In addition, you did not state if you are exercising. It is necessary to get in some exercises into your weight loss programme. This will help you to burn extra calories and lose weight. Once you have lost the weight and your breasts become smaller, you can do specific exercises to tighten and firm the breasts. Please speak with an exercise instructor as to how to get it done. Good luck.<br /> <br /> We will answer your weight-related questions<br /> <br /> Are you struggling to lose weight or just need some advice on living a healthier life? Tell us about your health issues and we&rsquo;ll have nutritionist and wellness coach Donovan Grant answer them for you. Grant has over 12 years&rsquo; experience in the fitness industry and is the owner of DG&rsquo;s Nutrition and Wellness Centre, 39 Lady Musgrave Road. Call him at 876-286-1363. E-mail questions to clarkep@jamaicaobserver.com.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733495/266284_92209_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM I don&rsquo;t like being married http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/I-don-t-like-being-married_93321 Dear Counsellor,<br /> <br /> I am having difficulty making the transition from being single to being married. I was single for several years before I got married. During those years, I managed to become an independent professional. I am a Christian. I met my husband at a church function and we started dating. I think we dated for about one year before marriage. We did premarital counselling and all that. Before we got married, I thought that I could handle it, but now that I am in, I don&rsquo;t like it at all. It is so very hard for me. It&rsquo;s not been a year yet since I got married and I feel like I have had enough. I need help, or else I am going to mess up.<br /> <br /> Throughout our life journey we make changes, some enjoyable, some not so pleasant. Think of what happens when we move up the education ladder. For some, the transition from secondary to tertiary education is a traumatic experience for the first couple of months, while for others it is a breeze. <br /> <br /> Over time the person who thought he/she could not last the three or four years at college/university will settle down and enjoy the ride. <br /> <br /> The point is, adjustments would have to be made with every change we make, and it must start within your mind. You must appreciate that your thoughts and actions as a single person would have to be altered as you transition to married life. <br /> <br /> The mistake some newlyweds make is that they want to continue their single life while they are coupled up, and that is a recipe for conflict. Don&rsquo;t get me wrong. I am not suggesting you should abandon your sense of independence, but that you share your space with your partner as the emotional bond is being built.<br /> <br /> One can appreciate that having lived the single life for a long time, the transition is going to be a bit difficult, but with time and the loving support of your partner it can be done.<br /> <br /> What is it that you don&rsquo;t like? What were your expectations? Is it that those expectations are not being realised? Were you anticipating the storybook fantasy &mdash;&ldquo;they lived happily ever after?&rdquo; The truth is, marriage is hard work that requires the partners to roll up their sleeves and exert the effort required to make the marital relationship work. <br /> <br /> In the first couple of months or years, partners are going through the trial-and-error period, getting to know each other, and this can be quite challenging. But if you are determined to make it work, you can do it. <br /> <br /> As the Jamaican proverb goes, &ldquo;See mi and come live wid mi a two different things.&rdquo; The courtship masks are now removed and the real persons are being revealed. Take some time to rediscover your partner and keep the lines of communication open.<br /> <br /> I would encourage you both to sit with a mature married couple and share with them some of the concerns and apprehensions you may have. Sometimes a few words of encouragement from those who are far ahead on the journey can be helpful.<br /> <br /> Don&rsquo;t despair. Give the marital relationship a chance to develop, if that is what you really want. Do your best, and hopefully your partner will do the same.<br /> <br /> Take care.<br /> <br /> Wayne Powell is a relationship counsellor. Write to agapemft@gmail.com; check out his work overseas on www.seekingshalom.org, e-mail powellw@seekingshalom.org.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733488/266118_92207_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Signs that diabetes may be approaching http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Signs-that-diabetes-may-be-approaching_92482 DIABETES is a disease in which your blood glucose (or blood sugar) levels are too high. With type 1 diabetes your body does not make insulin, and with type 2 diabetes, the more common type, your body does not make or use insulin well.<br /> <br /> As a result, the glucose stays in your blood and can make you pre-diabetic, which if not managed properly through diet and weight control, can lead to type 2 diabetes.<br /> <br /> Over time, having too much glucose in your blood can cause serious problems. It can damage your eyes, kidneys and nerves. Diabetes can also cause heart disease, stroke and even the need to remove a limb. Additionally, pregnant women can also get diabetes, called gestational diabetes.<br /> <br /> Internist Dr Jomo James said there may be no signs that you may be pre-diabetic, and the abnormality only comes to detection through a blood screen test. <br /> <br /> Of note he said there may be risk factors that are clearly evident, such as:<br /> <br /> 1. Being overweight or obese, and the more overweight the higher the risk.<br /> <br /> 2. Poor diet, or a diet rich in carbohydrates and/or fat.<br /> <br /> 3. Poor lifestyle decisions such as smoking, alcohol and a sedentary lifestyle.<br /> <br /> According to Dr James, diabetes can be diagnosed by a routine screening test in which the following are done:<br /> <br /> 1. Fasting glucose test. Dr James said this is where your glucose is tested early in the morning after an eight-hour overnight fast.<br /> <br /> 2. A glucose challenge test. &ldquo;Here you&rsquo;re given a precise amount of glucose mixed with water to drink and your glucose level is checked two hours later,&rdquo; he said.<br /> <br /> 3. The glycated haemoglobin test/HbA1c. Dr James said this is a test which usually reflects the state of glucose levels in your blood for the past three months.<br /> <br /> He explained that depending on the values, you may fall in one of three categories &mdash; normal, pre-diabetes, and/or diabetes.<br /> <br /> Pre-diabetes is likely to be detected in your 40s or 50s, as that is the time, particularly in our population, that a private physician will screen for diabetes.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;By convention, screening for diabetes should start at age 45 &mdash; outside of overt risk factors, and if the tests described above are normal, then the testing is repeated every three years. But for those considered at higher risk for diabetes, screening should start earlier,&rdquo; he said.<br /> <br /> He added: &ldquo;Pre-diabetes is considered a warning sign for the future development of diabetes progression, but it is not inevitable and it should be viewed as an opportunity to improve your health. It is well documented that promotion of healthy lifestyle changes, proper diet, weight loss and regular exercise do prevent or slow down progression to diabetes. In addition, limited alcohol consumption and cessation of smoking also helps.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> He emphasised that pre-diabetes is a warning that should be a red flag that the path to diabetes is fast approaching and may be inevitable if lifestyle changes are not made.<br /> <br /> Dr James also said bariatric surgery for weight loss has worked miraculously in curing both pre-diabetes and diabetes.<br /> <br /> He emphasised that through weight loss, proper diet, exercise and a healthy lifestyle, the outcome of having diabetes can be positive. He added that in extreme cases, drugs and surgery can offer a cure. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733505/264800_92192_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Treating endometriosis http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Treating-endometriosis_93235 ALL this month, we have heard stories about women living with endometriosis, as well as the myths and the symptoms or complications associated with the disease. Thanks to modern medicine, however, there are many options for treatment and relief of problematic symptoms. The key is for women to recognise abnormal symptoms and seek prompt treatment by a gynaecologist. The treatment used depends on the patient&rsquo;s symptoms and fertility concerns.<br /> <br /> Pain<br /> <br /> Pain can be treated with painkillers, ranging from over-the-counter medication to stronger prescription meds. Hormonal therapy is also often used, starting with simple hormonal contraceptives. In more severe cases, it may be necessary to use stronger medication to suppress the hormone production from the ovaries that &lsquo;feed&rsquo; the endometriosis (this puts the patient into a menopause-like state and so is only used for a few months&rsquo; duration). If pain is severe, interfering with normal activity, or unresponsive to medication, then surgery may be needed to remove internal scarring caused by the endometriosis. If the scar removal surgery does not resolve the pain, then more treatment options such as surgically implanted pelvic nerve modulators, neuropathic pain medication, or even surgery to remove the uterus and ovaries might have to be done. Surgical removal of the reproductive organs is a big step to take, and is only done in extreme cases after adequate counselling. <br /> <br /> Bleeding<br /> <br /> Abnormal (usually heavy) bleeding may also be associated with endometriosis. This is usually treated initially with medication, which may be hormonal or non-hormonal. The hormonal methods may be given in the form of pills, patches, vaginal rings or implants into the skin or uterus. The non-hormonal methods are usually in pill form, and some may have the dual effect of controlling bleeding as well as pain. Severe bleeding that is not responsive to medication may require surgery, which can range from minimally invasive, using special scopes in the uterus, to more major pelvic surgery. Pelvic surgery can involve removing sections of endometriosis out of the muscle wall of the uterus or removing the entire uterus, depending on the patient&rsquo;s fertility desires. <br /> <br /> Infertility<br /> <br /> Infertility in endometriosis can be caused by a multitude of factors. Sometimes it is due to damage to the patient&rsquo;s tubes. In those cases, tubal repair can be attempted using laparoscopic (minimally invasive) surgery. If tubal repair is not possible, or if infertility is not due to visible tubal damage, then patients will need assisted reproduction, which includes in-vitro fertilisation (test-tube pregnancy). This process is very expensive financially and emotionally, and requires proper counselling before starting any procedures. It typically involves giving the patient medication to allow her to ovulate, and then have the mature eggs removed under ultrasound guidance in a special clinic. The egg is then mixed with her partner&rsquo;s sperm and the fertilised embryo is re-implanted in her uterus to allow pregnancy to occur. If egg or sperm quality is an issue, then donor eggs or sperm have to be used. These procedures are available in Jamaica at the Hugh Wynter Fertility Management Unit of the University Hospital.<br /> <br /> Occasionally, assisted reproduction will not be possible or will fail multiple times, making it impossible for a patient to carry her own pregnancy. In cases like this, surrogacy (where another person carries the pregnancy with the patient&rsquo;s embryo), or adoption can be considered. These both have many legal procedures and processes, which should be clearly outlined at the outset under proper legal guidance.<br /> <br /> Endometriosis often involves a large emotional and social toll on patients and their partners or families; however, no one should suffer in silence as there are many options for treatment. <br /> <br /> Dr Anna-Kay Taylor Christmas is a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist at the Obs and Gynae Centre, Winchester Business Centre. She can be contacted at drtaylorchristmas@gmail.com or 908-3263, 906-2265, 325-7362.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/12081407/Needle_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Remember: Adoption issues http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Remember--Adoption-issues_93128 ADOPTION is always a tricky issue, especially when it involves one parent&rsquo;s spouse wanting to formally adopt a child, thus relinquishing any ties to the biological parent.<br /> <br /> The process is not a simple walk in the park, but if you remember three key things, it may make the formalities proceed more smoothly.<br /> <br /> In exploring adoption, you may apply to the Supreme Court with the biological parent as the defendant for a declaration of paternity, and for joint legal custody to you and your spouse, on the ground that the biological parent has abandoned and deserted the child and is unfit to have any access. Other conditions under this option include a DNA test and more specific matters that the court will explore.<br /> <br /> There is also the option to share joint custody with the biological parent. <br /> <br /> Additionally, you also have the option to approach the biological parent and ask them whether they would sign an agreement to enable your spouse to adopt the child and so free the biological parent from all burdens which can legally be imposed on them as parents. If they agree, then you can move with an application to the Child Development Agency/Adoption Board to adopt the child. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/12180468/how-to_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Maintaining good vaginal health http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Maintaining-good-vaginal-health_92316 WE are often told by our gynaecologists that the vagina is designed to clean itself, and that cleansers such as douches and soaps can be very harmful both internally and externally because of the vagina&rsquo;s sensitivity. Dr Keisha Buchanan, obstetrician-gynaecologist at ICON Medical Centre, outlines various measures that women can take to maintain the hygiene and general health of their vaginas.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Proper hygiene is essential for personal health and well-being and to prevent embarrassing odours. So it is important, for example, to bathe twice per day in warmer climates like ours, and depending on the level of activity, the frequency of the bath needs to be adjusted such as after exercise sessions and while menstruating,&rdquo; Dr Buchanan advised. <br /> <br /> Below, she shares tips on achieving optimal hygiene as well as the overall health of the vagina:<br /> <br /> &bull; Use of feminine washes on the vulva is recommended as they have the proper PH balance and are less likely to trigger irritation and infections. Soaps or body washes that have strong scents or colours are likely to affect the natural pH balance in the vagina and may trigger bacterial vaginosis are other infections.<br /> <br /> &bull; Soaps and washes must not be used inside the vagina, and douching is not recommended. The vagina cleanses itself naturally, hence washing inside is not necessary. <br /> <br /> &bull; Feminine wipes can be used on the vulva and the groin area. These are good in maintaining proper hygiene, especially during the period. <br /> <br /> &bull; Shaving or waxing can help to decrease odours, as excess hair can trap dirt and sweat and trigger odours. Feminine sprays can trigger irritation, allergies and infections and are not recommended. <br /> <br /> &bull; Use clean wash rags at all times. You don&rsquo;t want to introduce unhealthy bacteria which could cause vaginal infections. <br /> <br /> &bull; It is normal to have a clear or white vaginal discharge that has no odour, causes no discomfort, and no itching. During ovulation, the discharge gets thinner and stringy. Abnormal discharge may be a sign of infection or even cancer, and include yellow, green, odorous or bloody discharges and/or pain during sex, bleeding after sex and pelvic pain with the discharge. If the discharge appears different from what is normal, seek medical attention immediately. Some STDs are known to have devastating effects on the reproductive organs if left untreated. <br /> <br /> &bull; Use of condoms to protect against STIs is important, as is having one sexual partner. <br /> <br /> &bull; The presence of ulcers, warts, and vesicles (water bumps) on the genitalia may be a sign of an STI like herpes or HPV. Folliculitis can develop, especially after shaving, but these are typically not serious and tend to resolve without treatment.<br /> <br /> &bull; It is important to do an annual pelvic exam and a Pap smear to screen for pre-cancerous cells and seek medical attention if something appears abnormal.<br /> <br /> &bull; Above all, make sure that at least once yearly, even if there are no signs of anything going awry, to meet with your gynaecologist so that he/she can make checks. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733501/264213_92210_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Foods that flush the body http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Foods-that-flush-the-body_93415 WE often spend thousands of dollars on pharmaceuticals developed for the specific purpose of flushing and detoxifying our bodies. But nutritionist and dietitian Jenelle Solomon has identified various foods with these specific qualities which also provide other health benefits, and which are free of the possible side-effects of medications. <br /> <br /> &ldquo;Whether it is for a new weight loss plan, for medical reasons, or just a desire to cleanse our bodies, they help us to achieve some type of balance in our bodies, which is something we should [always] aim for. And while I know by now you are thinking about nasty blends and mixes, in reality you don&rsquo;t need to torture yourselves with all that. All you need to do is include detoxifying foods in your diet,&rdquo; Solomon advised. <br /> <br /> Below, she has compiled a list of foods that are generally easy to access and which contain very high cleansing properties:<br /> <br /> 1. Onion and garlic<br /> <br /> They don&rsquo;t just add flavour to your food or serve as excellent natural antibiotics; they also contain properties called flavonoids which stimulate the liver and encourage the production of detoxification enzymes. In addition, garlic contains high quantities of sulphur, which is another very good detoxifying component. <br /> <br /> 2. Turmeric and ginger<br /> <br /> Both are from the same family of roots; however, they contribute differently to body cleansing. In the case of ginger, it increases your metabolism, and by extension flushes out waste. It also contains astringents which clean the pores of the skin. Turmeric, on the other hand, has curcumin, a component that makes it yellow and stimulates the production of bile by the gall bladder. Bile is used by the kidneys, not just to eliminate toxins, but also to restore and revitalise liver cells that are central to the deconstruction of harmful compounds. Turmeric is used worldwide in the treatment of many liver and digestive system-related disorders. <br /> <br /> 3. Citrus fruits<br /> <br /> Perhaps one of the most common body cleansers &mdash; lemons and limes being the most common &mdash; citrus fruits are rich in the antioxidant Vitamin C. They stimulate the liver and release enzymes which also contribute to the conversion of toxins into a water-soluble form which facilitates excretion from the body. In general, the liver produces more enzymes with lemons, but its Vitamin C-rich component is also a bonus since the body needs it to produce glutathione, the strongest known antioxidant. Glutathione is crucial to achieving phase two of the liver&rsquo;s detoxifying process. Detoxing the body is one of the reasons that drinking lemon water, warm or otherwise, is encouraged, but it also serves to alkalise the body so as to ward off diseases encouraged when the body is too acidic. <br /> <br /> 4. Seeds<br /> <br /> Certain seeds, for example, chia seeds, flax seeds and pumpkin seeds, have been found to be very effective in cleansing the body. Flax seeds &mdash; ground flax seeds in particular &mdash; are a very good source of fibre that helps with binding and flushing toxins from the intestinal tract. Sunflower seeds are not only high in selenium and Vitamin E, but also assist the liver&rsquo;s detoxing capabilities. Chia seeds, among the more common seeds in the detoxifying process, contribute to binding cholesterol and helping to usher it out of the body. In addition, they are filled with antioxidants which help to resist the inevitable decline of old age with all its associated ailments. <br /> <br /> 5. Cucumber<br /> <br /> Commonly used in spa treatments and skin care products because of its detoxifying properties, on average the cucumber is said to be about 95 per cent water. This property alone encourages flushing toxins out as well as alkalising the body. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733502/266120_92211_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM Vows: Together Forever http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Vows--Together-Forever_92958 A perfect love story was sealed on December 31, 2016 when Winston Wint, a college professor from the Silicon Valley area of California, and Radeon Archer, Montego Bay-based attorney-at-law, vowed to spend the rest of their lives together.<br /> <br /> The Bellefield Great House and Gardens in Montego Bay was transformed into a veritable Garden of Eden by the wedding d&Atilde;&copy;cor team at Tai Flora Luxe, using a colour scheme of purple and fuchsia, which stood out boldly against the garden&rsquo;s foliage to complement the fantasy fairy-tale theme of the wedding. <br /> <br /> Vows takes you to the altar.<br /> <br /> Once upon a time&hellip;<br /> <br /> Radeon and Winston knew each other as children growing up in St James. In fact, they both attended the Vaughnsfield Primary School. They took separate paths during high school, however, with Radeon attending Mount Alvernia High and Winston, Cornwall College. Winston migrated to the United States and lost contact with Radeon. Facebook brought them together years later. Amidst giggles, Radeon explained, &ldquo;He was always the first to like every post I made, and this really caught my attention. Soon we were chatting endlessly and one thing led to another... we fell in love. I guess you could say it was &lsquo;love at first like&rsquo; and we have been virtually inseparable ever since, bridging the distance through phone calls and trips. We eventually realised that to be together forever was the song of both our hearts.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> Marry Me &hellip;<br /> <br /> The proposal took place on April 17, 2016 at one of Radeon&rsquo;s favourite spots on Earth. &ldquo;Winston knows that the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is my happy place; I enjoy romantic walks on the bridge with its absolutely breathtaking view of San Francisco&rsquo;s skyline, Alcatraz Island and the Pacific Ocean. While gazing out on a very cool Sunday afternoon at the beauty that lay before us, he turned to me and asked me to be his wife. Overcome with joy, I screamed, Yes!&rdquo;<br /> <br /> Here Comes The Bride &hellip;<br /> <br /> Under a caressing December sun, guests awaited the arrival of the wedding party in the lush garden setting of Bellefield which provided the perfect backdrop for a fairy-tale fantasy-themed wedding. The colour scheme of purple and fuchsia stood out boldly against the garden&rsquo;s greenery and the ceremony area which was magnificently adorned with hundreds of beautiful flowers including purple, pink and fuchsia roses, vanda, mokara and dendrobium orchids, hydrangeas, green berries and baby&rsquo;s breath.<br /> <br /> Soon the crystal-clear vocals of Jamaica&rsquo;s songbird Karen Smith filled the air as the ceremony commenced with her rendition of Celine Dion&rsquo;s Have You Ever Been In Love, which was followed by the arrival of the wedding party in a procession of vehicles transporting the groom and his groomsmen with the bride and her bridesmaids following closely behind in a long stretch limousine, all courtesy of Davi Ann Transport. The groom dressed in a Burberry suit the groom and his best man entered to Kenny G&rsquo;s The Moment followed by the seating of the mother of the groom, Mrs Sonia Campbell. A vibrant and colourful wedding party with bridesmaids and groomsmen were next. Then came the ring bearer, Mason Montgomery; the bride&rsquo;s poodle, Summer, wearing her &lsquo;Best Pet&rsquo; bow and a garland of flowers around her collar; flower girl Bethany Davis, who emptied her basket of all flowers at the start of her walk; and wedding crier, the adorable Jonathan Chue, who entered immediately before the bride with the sign, &lsquo;Uncle Winty, here comes Radie.&rsquo;<br /> <br /> Radeon was stunning, emerging in a Morilee exquisite ball gown fit for a queen complete with an ornate crown and two-tiered veil that was embellished with thousands of sequins. She was escorted up the aisle by her uncle Millard Wright to the strains Kelly Clarkson&rsquo;s<br /> <br /> A Moment Like This, which was also performed by Karen Smith.<br /> <br /> Pastor Damion Austin, the officiating minister, first asked for a moment of silence to be observed in memory of the bride&rsquo;s mother, well-known educator Iris Archer, who passed away in 2015. Gabrielle Annon, the bride&rsquo;s daughter, lit a memorial candle in honour of her grandmother. The pastor then performed the marriage rites as the couple pledged their undying love to each other in a celebratory atmosphere.<br /> <br /> The recessional saw an exuberant wedding party dancing their way down the aisle to Starship&rsquo;s Nothing&rsquo;s Gonna Stop Us Now and Wedding Day by the Bee Gees amidst the cheering guests who waved colourful streamers and flags with the words &lsquo;Hooray!,&rsquo; &lsquo;Yay!&rsquo; and &lsquo;Congrats!.<br /> <br /> Cocktail hour&hellip;<br /> <br /> Cocktail hour took place around the fountain on the Bellefield grounds, which saw guests enjoying hors d&rsquo;oeuvres and cocktails and partaking in the signature drink, the Raewinty Special. Entertainment was provided by Bung Guh Llung band, which had some guests forming conga lines and dancing around the fountain during the performance. A few guests meanwhile used the opportunity to tour the historic Great House.<br /> <br /> The Reception&hellip;<br /> <br /> The newly-weds entered to Maroon 5&rsquo;s Sugar as sparklers signalled their arrival. The evening continued with the reveal of the Rose Lee five-tiered fruitcake with beaded strings and crystals, and adorned with sugar flowers. It towered gracefully on the table with a glistening gold cake topper with the names &lsquo;Winston and Radeon Wint&rsquo;. This was followed by a hearty reception dinner by the Bellefield Great House. The menu included herb-roasted chicken in red wine sauce, curried goat with mango chutney and escoveitched fish with festivals, and a medley of fresh seasoned vegetables. A platter of freshly baked pastries was also prepared.<br /> <br /> The officiating pastor Damion Austin assumed the new role of master of ceremonies for the evening and had guests entertained throughout as he sang and gave numerous jokes.<br /> <br /> The Honeymoon&hellip;<br /> <br /> The lovebirds honeymooned at Sandals, Montego Bay and in San Jose, California.<br /> <br />   http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733440/265293_92302_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM James Black is Ready to &lsquo;Fete to Deat&rsquo; http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/James-Black-is-Ready-to--Fete-to-Deat-_93049 Right in time for the Carnival season is the &ldquo;Fete to Deat&rdquo; collection by Jamaican designer James Black. All Woman Fashion caught up with the self-taught designer to learn all about the collection. James Black,who is the head designer and conceptualiser of the brand Yahdie Conscious (YC). She started it in September 2004, with the belief that YC would be the fashion brand to promote Jamaica in a positive light while being a pioneer in the fashion industry. <br /> <br /> The Fete to Deat Collection features an island vibe with bold colours , eye-catching prints, and pays homage to vintage fashion; with a playful festive vibe. Key pieces in the collection include: rompers, bralettes, crop tops, ruffles and slits which are all perfect for the upcoming Carnival season, and in particular for those not &ldquo;jumping&rdquo;. <br /> <br /> According to Black: &ldquo; The name &lsquo;Fete To Deat&rsquo;, was coined from the term &lsquo;fresh to death&rsquo; but because of the current Carnival craze and events surrounding this, I decided to switch out fresh to fete and came up with a capsule collection that reflected a mood of fun and frolic with lots of Caribbean flair.&rdquo;<br /> <br /> This eclectic fusion collection features cut-outs, slits and ruffles all in the right places and, of course, the YC signature item: prints, prints and more prints.<br /> <br /> YC is truly an innovative brand that manages to stay on top of trends and definitely is not afraid to push the envelope as it relates to mixing pieces. <br /> <br /> The pieces are unique and do not have a long shelf life as they were intended to be limited. AW suggests if you see something you like, grab it before it&rsquo;s gone. Celebrate the Caribbean and &ldquo;Fete to Deat&rdquo; this Carnival season! <br /> <br /> Get social with YC! <br /> <br /> http://www.shopyc.bigcartel.com/ <br /> <br /> Instagram:@yc_clothing86<br /> <br /> Facebook: Yahdie Conscious http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13733461/265467_92128_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 12:00 AM DIRECTORY OF WOMEN&rsquo;S SERVICES http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/DIRECTORY-OF-WOMEN-S-SERVICES_741742017-03-27T01-37-18 Here is a list of places you can contact if you are a woman in need of help. Do not hesitate to call anyone at the following groups if you are dealing with issues such as domestic abuse, unplanned pregnancies, or are in need of counselling to cope with a traumatic experience.<br /> <br /> Bureau of Gender Affairs<br /> <br /> Call them at: 754-8575-8, or 929-6660<br /> <br /> Kingston and St Andrew Family Court<br /> <br /> Call them at: 922-0001<br /> <br /> Child Development Agency<br /> <br /> Call them at: 948-7206<br /> <br /> Office of the Children&rsquo;s Advocate<br /> <br /> Call them at: 948-3279<br /> <br /> Women&rsquo;s Centre of Jamaica Foundation<br /> <br /> Call them at: 929-7608<br /> <br /> Women&rsquo;s Resource and Outreach Centre<br /> <br /> Call them at: 929-8873<br /> <br /> Woman Inc<br /> <br /> Call them at: 929-9038<br /> <br /> The Crisis Centre<br /> <br /> Call them at: 929-2997<br /> <br /> Missionaries of the Poor <br /> <br /> Call them at: 922-4414<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Centre For Investigation Of Sexual Offences & Child Abuse (CISOCA)<br /> <br /> Call them at: 926-7318 http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/10875102/CDA_w300.jpg All Woman Monday, March 27, 2017 2:00 AM Platonic friendships http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Platonic-friendships One strong feature of intimate relationships is quality time spent together. It is important because it is where communication is most active and where a bond can be formed. But what happens when that time is divided between your partner and a friend, worse, a friend of the opposite sex? Is it cheating if you give more time to someone else other than your mate?<br /> <br /> Ryan:<br /> <br /> That&rsquo;s not cheating. Sometimes I want to chill with a sistren and nothing is wrong with that. <br /> <br /> Shaneille:<br /> <br /> I would think that my man is cheating, to be honest. It is total disrespect . I think once you're in a relationship, certain things have to lessen or be cut.<br /> <br /> Sasha:<br /> <br /> It is not cheating but it can lead to cheating so to be safe, spend more time with your man.<br /> <br /> Troy:<br /> <br /> It is not cheating but can be very dangerous if you are in a committed relationship. You want to ensure that everyone stays in their lane and to be honest, most of your time should be given to your man and no one else. If a woman tries this with me, I am bouncing out of that relationship.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13730031/three_w300.jpg All Woman Saturday, March 25, 2017 12:55 AM Digging into his past http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Digging-into-his-past The past should be used to order change, offer guidance, and to set standards for the future. But how deep should you dig, or reveal? <br /> <br /> GT:<br /> <br /> Listen up ladies, the more you search for trouble, it will find you. Relax! If a man chooses to leave his past in the shadows, simply respect it and keep going.<br /> <br /> Cassandra:<br /> <br /> I am a digger! For me to fully understand a man, I need to know his history because it is within the history that I will know if I can manage him or not. If a man hides his past, I'm going to dig even more because that simply means he is hiding something. <br /> <br /> Rach:<br /> <br /> I don't like to discuss past relationships. I did once with my man and he turned around and cursed me dog-rotten. Mi nah do that ever again!<br /> <br /> Lisa:<br /> <br /> It is best you leave the past in the past because it was after my man started to tell me about his exes that I started to get jealous and lots of arguments started to happen. Right now we don't speak because of something he told me last night. Ladies, avoid talking about who you used to date and don't encourage your man to share every detail of his past.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13730033/worker_w300.jpg All Woman Friday, March 24, 2017 5:04 AM How much is too much to compromise on? http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/How-much-is-too-much-to-compromise-on- All relationships require compromise. It is important to note this as you learn about your partner. There will be things in all relationships that each person hates about the other, and guess what? It is perfectly normal. Understand that no two persons are the same, and because of this, it is imperative that you shape your relationship on this premise as it will cause less drama for you.<br /> <br /> But while you should compromise, compromising on almost everything is dangerous as you will be taken for granted and possibly lose your identity. It is not that you shouldn't change, but don't change everything to the point where you cannot identity yourself, but only the standards and requirements of your partner.<br /> <br /> How much is too much to compromise on?<br /> <br /> Chin:<br /> <br /> Some women compromise too much to the point the man tek dem fi poppy show. Mi nah do that, mi sorry. Yes, I will bend on certain things, but mi nah bend so much mi tun idiot fi man. Mi will stay single.<br /> <br /> Andrene:<br /> <br /> There is a limit to everything in life so if a man is asking too much of me, I'd rather walk away and find another man who is fine with who I am. I once dated a guy and he had an issue with everything - how I dressed, my car, even the restaurant I chose. I knew it was our last date. Once you start going down that road, it is a deal-breaker for me.<br /> <br /> Roy:<br /> <br /> People must compromise, yes, but some women act like God - they want you to change everything you used to do and lock you in the house like pickney.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13730020/friend_w300.jpg All Woman Friday, March 24, 2017 5:53 AM How to argue effectively http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/How-to-argue-effectively Arguments will flare up in your relationship because it&rsquo;s human nature to disagree. But what is unacceptable is when every single conversation is an argument, and after all is said, there is avoidance and malice. <br /> <br /> There are steps to take in order to argue effectively and respectfully:<br /> <br /> 1. Listen<br /> <br /> Most issues could be resolved if people simply listen, and not just passively, but actively. If you truly desire a healthy relationship, you have to learn this as this will save you a lot of stress.<br /> <br /> 2. Avoid throwing something that was shared in confidence, in your partner&rsquo;s face<br /> <br /> If your man trusted you to tell you something, throwing it out when there is an argument can lead to more damage. Always stick to the issue at hand and handle that which is before you.<br /> <br /> 3. Show respect even if the other party is disrespectful<br /> <br /> It is easier said than done, but it can be done once you decide to make it happen. Two wrongs surely won&rsquo;t make a right, so if both you and your man are going at it in screaming matches, what eventually will happen is either you&rsquo;ll both storm away in bitterness towards each other, or there will be some level of abuse. Either of the two is bad. One person has to be the bigger person.<br /> <br /> 4. Agree to disagree<br /> <br /> To really sustain a relationship, you sometimes have to take the blame &ndash; they call it choosing peace over winning an argument. You have to learn to respectfully agree to disagree on certain issues that may arise in your relationship.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13728578/argue_w300.jpg All Woman Thursday, March 23, 2017 12:05 AM The unwritten dating code http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/The-unwritten-dating-code It has been said that love is no respecter of person &ndash; it&rsquo;s something that just happens. But it can get real complicated and real ugly once it goes against social norms, like when Cupid strikes the hearts of you and your friend&rsquo;s ex.<br /> <br /> Would you date your friend&rsquo;s ex?<br /> <br /> Sharon: <br /> <br /> Absolutely not! It would come off as hypocritical. It is going to also look like I was interested all along. It is really too much drama and I love peace, so I would tell that man no even if I really wanted him.<br /> <br /> Cheryl:<br /> <br /> I dated my friend&rsquo;s ex before. She gave me the go-ahead and she was genuine about it and we dated, although we never worked out because whenever we went out and she was there, it was always awkward and it created some level of weirdness between me and her. After a while, it became too much so I left it where it was.<br /> <br /> Tanya:<br /> <br /> I would never think to do that. I consider all my friends as family and their men are also family, so for me to overstep those boundaries, I would feel like I am committing incest. Totally wrong if anyone asks me!<br /> <br /> Kavel:<br /> <br /> That is a relationship and friendship code-breaker. I would never recommend people to date their friends&rsquo; ex-lovers because you&rsquo;re really signing up for trouble. I have heard people saying there are exceptions, but the reality is, this is a total no.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13728576/date_w300.jpg All Woman Thursday, March 23, 2017 5:57 AM When she threatens harm http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/When-she-threatens-harm Many of our grandmothers have taught us how to react if a man hurts us &ndash; some of these suggestions not fit for sharing. And the feisty Jamaican woman will warn her man what will happen if he messes up after she has trusted him with her heart.<br /> <br /> Guys, what would you do if a woman threatened to hurt you if you ever left her? How far would you trust her?<br /> <br /> Marvin:<br /> <br /> It has to be my personal woman for me to trust her enough to even eat from her, and even if she jokes about harming me, I&rsquo;m leaving. I won&rsquo;t be with any woman who thinks that way.<br /> <br /> TT:<br /> <br /> People joke around, yes, and I do understand that, but if a woman threatens me in that way, it is time to split. I say this from all men &ndash; ladies, once you cross that line, the man will definitely leave you. Always remember, if a man cannot trust you, that relationship is heading downhill. <br /> <br /> Trucka:<br /> <br /> Women these days are wicked, so don&rsquo;t run jokes with them. Once she threatens me, I&rsquo;m watching her. Women love to control men, so watch what they say.<br /> <br /> Audley:<br /> <br /> If she has those thoughts, it&rsquo;s best we part.<br /> <br /> http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13728574/bye_w300.jpg All Woman Thursday, March 23, 2017 5:49 AM Introducing solid foods http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Introducing-solid-foods_93143 WHETHER your baby is interested in the food that you are eating or he/she is no longer showing interest in breast milk and formula, sometimes you may decide to introduce solid foods much sooner than is recommended. One of the most common items for Jamaicans, according to nutritionist and dietician Jenelle Solomon, is porridge.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;The digestive organs and excretory organs, like the kidneys of an infant, are not fully developed or functional until about 12 to 15 months of age, and this fact is singularly important when it comes to a weaning programme for a baby,&rdquo; Solomon said.<br /> <br /> She explained that the mother&rsquo;s milk is perfectly adapted to a baby&rsquo;s needs, and even though efforts have been made to develop formulas to match the composition of breast milk, even these can cause problems. This means that introducing things like porridge to your young baby can cause more harm than good.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Proteins in mother&rsquo;s milk are produced with the necessary enzymes for easy digestion and assimilation. But when proteins that have been altered, as happens to milk protein in pasteurisation (milk-based infant formulas generally use pasteurised milk), are given to an infant, the enzymes needed for proper digestion and absorption are missing. The baby&rsquo;s stomach does not produce sufficient quantity or quality gastric acids until the second year. The end result is that the complex dairy proteins are only partly digested, leaving long chains of amino acid structures undigested,&rdquo; Solomon explained.<br /> <br /> She further outlined that undigested amino acid structures can pass through the semipermeable gut and into the bloodstream, causing an immune reaction, initiating an abnormal production of inflammatory mediators such as leukotrienes, prostaglandins, histamine, kinins and auto antibodies. These will attack susceptible tissue like bronchial tissue in the lungs and pancreatic tissue which produces insulin. This, Solomon noted, predisposes the baby to allergies and sensitivity reactions of the skin, gut (including reflux), bronchial tissues, or other organ tissues.<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Poor weaning encourages feeding the baby dairy milk-based formula products and other solid foods including porridge, which predisposes the baby to childhood asthma and possibly causes it; type one diabetes, and many other diseases as well,&rdquo; Solomon cautioned.<br /> <br /> Proper introduction of solid foods can begin at about five to six months. Porridge, when made of light and healthy ingredients, can be very beneficial to a growing child. But, as with every other food to be introduced, care must be taken to record the child&rsquo;s reaction to it.<br /> <br /> Below, Solomon shares a list of rules that parents need to follow when introducing foods to babies:<br /> <br /> &bull; Do not start weaning or supplementing breast milk until the baby is ready. Children introduced to solid foods before four months of age are three times as likely to develop recurrent eczema.<br /> <br /> &bull; Keep the weaning programme to single food types only; do not mix different foods. Tolerated foods can be combined later on, but not initially.<br /> <br /> &bull; Use fresh vegetables and fruit that&rsquo;s in season (organic, if possible). Juices can be made and diluted with pure water.<br /> <br /> &bull; Avoid creating allergies and sensitivities from commonly known allergens such as dairy, wheat, corn, tomatoes, peanuts, and oranges. These should be introduced much later.<br /> <br /> &bull; Introduce one food at a time, preferably four to five days apart, so that any allergic reactions can be observed.<br /> <br /> &bull; When introducing a new food, give your baby only one teaspoon the first day, two the second, and so forth, until a full serving is taken.<br /> <br /> If the baby rejects the food or an allergic response occurs, stop the food and look at what baby&rsquo;s body is telling you. Allergic reactions vary. They can include hives; flush on face, mouth, or buttocks; eczema; wheezing/asthma; runny nose; diarrhoea or constipation; fever; headache; irritability; tiredness; and abdominal pains (restless sleep, etc.).<br /> <br /> &bull; If a reaction occurs, stop offering the food, and wait one week before introducing any other new food. It may be that the offending food can be reintroduced and better tolerated later on.<br /> <br /> &bull; Never add salt, sugar, yeast (eg, Vegemite) to a baby&rsquo;s food, as these foods can lead to allergies and addictions later in life. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13725180/265625_91658_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Wednesday, March 22, 2017 12:00 AM Preparing your home to welcome a new baby http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Preparing-your-home-to-welcome-a-new-baby_93142 PREPARING your family and by extension your home for a baby can be quite exciting, but it always seems as if there are a million and one things to get through. And while this might be true, clinical psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell has generated a list of tips that will ease your burden.<br /> <br /> 1. Have a family talk first<br /> <br /> Everyone who lives in your household and who will engage with your baby needs to know what is expected of them. This is no different for your spouse. Don&rsquo;t assume that he knows what his responsibilities are and how best he can assist you. He is worth more to you equipped with the knowledge on how to help you rather than being clueless.<br /> <br /> 2. Talk to your other children<br /> <br /> The children will need to know that the new baby is an addition, not a replacement. They will need to understand the importance of having fun while being quiet to allow mom and the baby to rest. Too many parents know all too well how frustrating it is when, as soon as you get the baby to sleep, a loud outburst from an older sibling wakes him or her up.<br /> <br /> 3. Spend extra time with your older child or children<br /> <br /> Since it is so easy for children to get jealous, especially when they are used to having you for themselves, note that while your newborn will need your attention, your older children may take this to mean they are being robbed of time with you or that you favour the newborn. While on maternity leave, remind your other children how much you love them. Find activities you both enjoy and help them to be a part of the experience of another life growing so they feel a part of the process and will be more appreciative when the baby comes. Include them in decisions about the newborn as well, and engage them in conversations that include topics such as the importance of sharing.<br /> <br /> 4. Accept tips from family and friends<br /> <br /> It&rsquo;s true that no two babies are the same, but it&rsquo;s also true that there are generally guidelines that can be helpful when caring for most children. Ask questions, as many as you need to, because the expertise of these experienced moms will allow you to provide the best care to your baby.<br /> <br /> 5. Clean the house<br /> <br /> A baby&rsquo;s immune system at birth is very weak. This makes them susceptible to numerous infections. In order to protect them, it is important to clean the house and get rid of as many unwanted parasites as possible that may be lurking in the corners.<br /> <br /> 6. Baby-proof your house<br /> <br /> Naturally, children are inquisitive about their environment, and since they are oblivious to the many dangers that exist, parents have to create a safe place for them. Extension cords and other appliance cords strung across a room, wall sockets, sharp edges and bits of glass are not baby-friendly. Don&rsquo;t procrastinate with these things.<br /> <br /> 7. The baby&rsquo;s room<br /> <br /> The baby&rsquo;s room should be the safest place. You should ensure that there is no hazard to your child. Create a checklist to address all possibilities. Make sure that you do adequate research and get advice from the right professionals when choosing the appropriate room colour, furniture, toys and other accessories.<br /> <br /> 8. Your support system<br /> <br /> A new baby will mean additional responsibilities, and you&rsquo;ll need the support whether there are other children in the picture or not. Don&rsquo;t hesitate to accept help from trusted family members and friends. Create a schedule to prevent overburdening a particular family member. Relatives and friends can also help with your other children so that they don&rsquo;t feel neglected.<br /> <br /> 9. Prepare for emergencies<br /> <br /> If you are alone with your older children and the baby, there are some things they should learn, such as how to use a cellphone. Show them emergency contacts that they should call, in case you might be unable to do this on your own. <br /> <br /> 10. Your pet<br /> <br /> Your pet is as much a part of your family as anyone else. Before the baby comes, let the animal be checked by a vet. Also, consider the animal&rsquo;s temperament. Is it friendly? Could it pose a potential risk to the baby? Knowing these things will help you to make the right decisions. http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/13726737/265634_91657_repro_w300.jpg All Woman Wednesday, March 22, 2017 12:00 AM Scientists develop a dietary kit to beat baby blues http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/Scientists-develop-a-dietary-kit-to-beat-baby-blues_93141 RESEARCHERS based in Toronto, Canada, were able to reduce depression symptoms associated with baby blues in new mothers by using a nutrition-based treatment to help counter chemical changes in the brain that occur during the postpartum period. <br /> <br /> Postpartum blues are a widespread phenomenon experienced by many new mothers, generally arising five days after childbirth.<br /> <br /> However, they can become more severe and lead to clinically diagnosed postpartum depression, one of the most common complications of child-bearing, affecting 13 per cent of new mothers. <br /> <br /> To counteract the mood-related effects of chemical changes in the brain, scientists developed a &ldquo;kit&rdquo; of three nutritional supplements including tryptophan (2g), tyrosine (10g) and blueberry extract with blueberry juice. This was given to new mothers from the third day after giving birth for a period of three days. <br /> <br /> &ldquo;Developing successful nutrition-based treatments, based on neurobiology, is rare in psychiatry,&rdquo; said the study&rsquo;s lead author Dr Jeffrey Meyer.<br /> <br /> The scientists found that women who took the nutritional cocktail comprising two amino acids and blueberry juice did not experience any depression symptoms, compared to mothers who didn&rsquo;t take the supplements. Those who didn&rsquo;t take the nutritional kit experienced a significant increase in depression symptoms. <br /> <br /> The kit&rsquo;s components were specially selected to compensate for a surge in the brain protein MAO-A, which arises in the early postpartum phase, inhibiting the action of three neurotransmitters that stabilise mood: serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine. When levels of these three chemicals are depleted, feelings of sadness can arise. <br /> <br /> Tryptophan is a precursor amino acid for the mood-enhancing hormone serotonin and is naturally found in turkey, cod, salami, parmesan, parsley, pumpkin seeds, soy, milk and cheese.<br /> <br /> L-Tyrosine is another amino acid which has antioxidant properties that fight depression or anxiety and is related to dopamine levels. It is found in almonds, avocado, banana, lima beans, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, hard cheeses and soy. Blueberry extract, rich in polyphenols, has the most powerful antioxidant properties of all fruits. Several studies have highlighted its effectiveness in combating declining cognitive function.<br /> <br /> In conclusion, the researchers suggest that, after further trials, this kind of supplement kit could one day be offered to new mothers by health care providers as a means of preventing post-partum depression. <br /> <br /> Note that the use of tryptophan and tyrosine supplements did not affect the overall concentrations in breast milk.<br /> <br /> The study is published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.<br /> <br /> &mdash; AFP http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/assets/12081407/Needle_w300.jpg All Woman Wednesday, March 22, 2017 12:00 AM