Some years ago, a friend of mine was made redundant. “It was such a devastating blow,” he recalls. “Yes, I got a good settlement. But for a while there, I felt stunned and worthless.” Lucky for this individual, he received counselling, and the affirmation of family and friends. His positive attitude returned and he gained an even better job than the one he lost.

More employers are citing good attitude as a must to get hired, so it is puzzling that so many people who genuinely want employment can come across as being negative. The fact is, the child who is being constantly criticised and compared to others will have serious self-esteem problems. Lack of confidence in oneself translates into negative and at times anti-social behaviour. Well-meaning parents can sometimes be so demanding of their children that they cow them into an unhealthy submissiveness.

A slim book by social development organiser Archibald Edwards in collaboration with a team of professionals, The Students’ Motivational Manual is one of the best tools I have seen to help not only students but indeed anyone build confidence, manage time and convert stress into positive energy. The booklet is approved by the Ministry of Education. Here is Edward’s simple test to measure your self-esteem:

* Are you easily hurt by criticism?

* Are you very shy or over-aggressive?

* Do you try to hide your feelings from others?

* Do you fear close relationships?

* Do you try to blame your mistakes on others?

* Do you avoid new experiences?

* Are you glad when others fail?

“If most or all your answers are ‘yes’,” writes Edwards, “your self-esteem needs improvement.” Then Edwards speaks an important truth about every human being: “It is important to know that you are of great value, irreplaceable and unique, and there is a special place in the world for you. Don’t try to be someone else – Just learn to love the unique person that you are.”

I remember a motivational speaker remarking that of the 60,000 thoughts we have for the day, over 80 per cent are negative. When we are not thinking fearfully of the next move, we are thinking suspiciously of the next person. We read the horoscope and fear the rest of the day if it’s negative. I think Shakespeare got it right when he wrote in Julius Caesar, “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.” Therefore, Edwards gives us some points to practise:

* Try to do things that spread joy

* Launch new ideas

* Think big

* Reach out and help someone to achieve

* Dream freely, envision excellence

* Cherish your creation, be inspired

* Take pride in yourself

* Draw on inner strength

* Recognise inner beauty

* Speak the truth

* Be at peace with God and neighbour

* Celebrate life

Edwards urges us to take initiative, identifying priorities and developing tough-mindedness. He describes this as “a high tolerance for frustration”. The tough-minded person will plunge “through all sorts of bureaucracies, endure delays and run-arounds. He is patient where much patience is the only possible way of getting the final result desired”.

But even as Edwards encourages us to dream, he wants us to do this in the context of attainable goals, creating an action plan, identifying strategies and resources. Because we each have the gift of 16 waking hours in a day, he wants us to organise our time, warning against procrastination.

In our shop, we use two diaries, the hardcopy diary where we can easily flip to a page and see our appointments, and the softcopy, whether on our smart phone or on the free downloadable Palm Desktop. Of course, we have to keep them synchronised. We also have a daily “stand-up” meeting which is exactly as the name suggests. These are done standing in the main office, going at top speed, each person sharing what they have to do for the day. This allows us to prioritise the day’s immediate demands and to get help from the team. The day’s checklist is entered on a whiteboard.

We use email, text and BB messenger to stay in touch with clients, suppliers and each other. Every single decision made on a phone conversation is immediately followed up with a confirming email. Email has to be God’s gift to the filing system of small offices. It may suit you to print and file any email which carries information on financial agreements.

We cannot speak about financial planning without emphasising the importance of character. Edwards lists the traits of good character as: sense of commitment, trustworthiness, enthusiasm, loyalty, honesty, perseverance, positive mental attitude and a sense of humour.

Edwards gives tips to students on how to avoid drug use, including ending relationships with friends who refuse to give up a drug habit. He reminds, “Be smart. Don’t start.” His suggestions for job interviews include punctuality, appropriate dress and truthfulness. Once you get the job, Edwards urges team spirit, courtesy, initiative and courage, and the maintenance of a positive mental attitude.

Between jobs, continue to study, using the free courses online if needed and ensure that you are volunteering for a cause. Your care and diligence will be seen and before you know it, you will be offered a job. Edwards’ book is endorsed by none other than Usain Bolt who advises, “Practise the principles taught in this manual …please bear in mind that with God all things are possible.”

lowriechin@aim.com

www.lowrie-chin.blogspot.com