Do you not know

That I am woman?

When I think

I must speak.

Shakespeare, As You Like It, 111, 2

Some people may say that women never stop speaking, but let them talk, as most will always speak their minds, even as men keep things inside and suffer from pressure. And here I was thinking that women suffered from penis envy and secretly wanted to be men. Well, some may do, but based on some statistics revealed to me by The Independent, I discovered that many, if not most women, are perfectly happy to be women and would never have it any other way. Maybe some of the older folks may remember the song, “I enjoy being a girl” by Doris Day, I think. Those lyrics extolled the virtues of feminine pulchritude and the softness and sensuality that women exude. It’s even good for a man to be in touch with his feminine side, and any man who doesn’t admit to that is missing a lot.

As I pored over the statistics, though, I was fascinated by the figures and ratio of where women were happiest in all the different areas of the world. Who would have thought that Jamaica ranked 20th in the world for having high-skilled jobs for women? Well, it’s true, and I shall expand on that and more facts about why it’s good to be a woman.

Men, don’t feel left out, for if it wasn’t for the progress of women, many of you wouldn’t be where you are today. So give thanks that it’s good to be a woman as we’ll find out right after these letters .

Hi Tony,

Concerning your footnote about declining standards, all I can say is that you would make an excellent carpenter. You keep hitting the right nails on their heads. You are so right, our priorities are so mixed up when it comes to supporting the right things.

Charles

Hey Tony,

Regarding your article S on his Chest, there aren’t enough esses around as far as some women are concerned. How about adding Stupid to the list, as many women think that men are really stupid? Why else would a woman let a man support her for months or even years, yet refuse to have sex with him? He pays her rent, buys her food, sends her to school, yet she uses the guise of Christianity to deny him pleasure. Where is her Christian charity Tony?

So colour him stupid, paint him simple and label her smart and sneaky. All these esses add up.

Clive

Well, well, well, in spite of all the talk of gender equality or the lack of it, and women not being able to break through the glass ceiling, I learnt that it’s actually good to be a woman in certain corners of the world. But without cutting corners, I gleaned some very intriguing facts regarding the best and worst places to be a woman nowadays. The results may surprise you, as they did me.

Based on the research, the absolutely best place to be a woman in the whole wide world is Iceland. Yes, Iceland, the country with the name that describes its nature and climate, cold, icy, frigid. And yet despite these descriptions, Iceland is really warm to women and is the best place to be a woman. It has the greatest equality between men and women, taking into account politics, education, employment and health. So all you ladies, especially the cold, frigid, arctic ones, you can warm up, get in touch with your inner self and go and live in Iceland, for it’s the absolutely best place to be a woman.

What surprised me, though, was the statistic that showed that the best place to be a female politician is Rwanda. Yes, Rwanda, land of brutal killings and near genocide that wiped out millions a few years ago. But how they have evolved! Rwanda is the only country in the world where women make up the majority of parliamentarians. Women hold 45 of the 80 seats. Compare that to Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Qatar, Oman and Belize that have no women in parliament. Even Jamaica isn’t so bad after all, as we have quite a few women in parliament, who certainly make their voices heard, plus a female Prime Minister.

But is Jamaica the best place to be a female Prime Minister? Actually, no, as Sri Lanka holds that distinction. Women have run Sri Lanka for 23 years, while many other countries have never had a female head of government. So you see how fortunate we are as we fall in good company with Sri Lanka, for as they always say, if you want a man’s job done properly, send a woman to do it. Sri Lanka seems to believe that saying, as women have guided them for over two decades now.

Now the ‘gender equality’ ladies will love this, for the best place to be a senior manager is Thailand. Oh yes, Thailand has the percentage of women in senior management at 45 per cent. The lowest is Japan, with only nine per cent. So women who like to be bosses, you can live in Thailand where you’ll feel right at home. By the way, the capital of Thailand is Bangkok.

Which brings us to Jamaica, which ranks 20th on the list where it’s good to be a woman. If is egg, we in the red, and the research states that the best place for high-skilled jobs is Jamaica. We have the highest ratio of women in high-skilled jobs such as legislators, senior officials and managers. Almost 60 per cent of those roles are filled by women. Compare that to the UK, which is ranked 35th in the global survey.

“Show me the money,” is what the ladies say, as what’s the point of working in high-skilled jobs if the money is not commensurate?! Well, it’s good to be a woman in Luxemburg, as that country shares the top spot with Norway for estimated earned income. Women and men are likely to earn the same amount where income is capped at $40,000. So ladies, brush off your corporate suits, take out your calculators and head to Luxemburg where the dollars are running.

I’ve always known that our Caribbean women are great at journalism and the research corroborates my findings, as the best place to be a woman journalist is in the Caribbean. This region has the highest percentage of TV, print and radio news stories reported by women at 45 percent. Compare this to the UK, where about nine percent of national newspaper editors are women. So as you can see, our women are kicking.

Apart from all the facts and figures that I got from The Independent, I’ve always known that women always had the upper hand in this gender conflict…er… battle…er… war…er… relationship issues. Oh yes, it’s good to be a woman when you’re in a relationship. At least it’s good if you know how to play your cards right and don’t get shafted by men. Even the comic strips reflect this, as I was reading the funnies where Hagar the Horrible was asked, “So Hagar, you’re the most feared Viking in the land, never lost a battle. How come you never won an argument with Helga, your wife?” Hagar solemnly replied, “Because, if I win, I don’t get to eat.” And that sums it up, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, if you win an argument with your woman, you still lose, for she will make you pay. That’s why it’s good to be a woman. If the man shows his power and his supremacy, real or imagined, he’ll quickly find out who is the real boss, a fact that many men are slowly beginning to realise.

Women make all the decisions, even though they start out as mere suggestions. “Oh Honey, what do you think if we throw out that old sofa and get a new one…just a suggestion?” See, it appears to be a suggestion, but in reality it’s an edict, a command, and come hell or high water, a new couch is on the horizon. So the man is hauled before Courts, or Singer, or any other store that sells furniture.

Women just have to dress up and look pretty and they can be proposed to. Oh, it’s really good to be a woman, especially if you’re a fox. Which man can dress to the nines, put on the best clothes, then walk down the street and be propositioned or even asked for his hand in marriage? And yet it happens to women all the time. So many men have just taken one look at a woman and based on her beauty want to marry her right away. Many waitresses, clerks, hotel ancillary staff, have had their lives transformed, simply because they were women…and beautiful. Yet no man is propositioned based on his looks. It’s good to be a woman, when looks are taken into account. This fact was proven in many surveys that showed that most women would rather be beautiful than smart…now that’s being smart.

Even in getting assistance, women come up trumps and knock men out of the ballpark. Do a test, let a man stop his car on any given street with a flat tyre, and see how quickly help arrives. Now let a woman do it and count the seconds it takes before men stop to render assistance. And yet, they say it’s a man’s world.

The same applies to same-sex relationships, where it’s good to be a woman. Two gay men in a relationship are vilified, cursed and scorned in many countries. Yet the same people cursing them look kindly if not lustfully at two women who are similarly involved, and would even welcome a threesome with them. Remember the TV series The L Word and how immensely popular it was? Can you imagine a male equivalent? I don’t think so.

Don’t just take it from me; based on extensive research plus observation, it’s good to be a woman…in some countries at least. Many individual women are still suffering in many quarters, but based on the findings, as the old saying goes… You’ve come a long way baby.” More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: Seeing as how it’s Jamaica’s 50th anniversary, here are some facts about Jamaica that you may have missed. Jamaica had electricity, running water and phone cards before the USA. Jamaica was the first country in the Western World to construct a railway, even before the USA. This was 18 years after Britain. Jamaica is the first Caribbean country to gain independence and Jamaica was the first commercial producer of bananas in the western hemisphere. We were also the first island in the Caribbean to produce rum on a commercial basis.

Jamaica has more multiple births (twins or more) than anywhere else in the world. Jamaica was the first country to impose economic sanctions against the apartheid regime of South Africa. Jamaica has had three Miss Worlds. The Guinness Book of Records states that Jamaica has the most churches per square mile of any country in the world. Jamaica currently holds every hundred metre male sprint title, and oh yes, we have the world’s fastest man in Usain Bolt. We have so much to be proud of…and more to achieve.