If it were done

When ’tis done,

Then ’twere well

It were done quickly.

— Shakespeare, Macbeth 1, 7

DO it, do it now, do not dilly dally, make it your priority, and just do it quickly. I discovered many years ago that all action is but a matter of priority. Yes indeed, we choose what we want to do, when we want to do it, and with whom we want to do it, all depending on what we think is most important.

For example, you’re trying to sleep and the phone rings and it’s a telemarketer or someone who you owe money… you simply dismiss the call and go back to your slumber. But let that call be from that cute person who you had your eyes on all week, or better yet, someone who owes you money, and see how quickly you take that call.

Or let’s say you’re down to your last five grand and you have a choice to buy a new pair of shoes or fill a prescription for your migraine. What do you do? That’s a no brainer, for the priority is as obvious as the nose on your face. So when people arrive late for your meeting or not at all, it’s simply that you were not at the top of their list of priorities.

You do what you do, when you do it, at the time that you think benefits you the most. We all prioritise our actions. But the rub is, men and women have different priorities, as we’ll see right after these letters about sexcapades.

Hi Tony,

Ah sexcapades. Once upon a time, not too long ago, captains of industry and leaders of men and countries had mistresses without consequences to their jobs or stature in society. In many cases, the wives of these men knew about the mistresses and kept quiet about it because the men continued to love (not necessarily in love) and support them and family, while the wives continued to maintain status and share of power in society.

These dalliances were also kept private by the media in those days. Fast-forward to the 21st Century and it seems that sexual gossip is the favoured pastime where today’s women are less mature in their thinking and their egos get the better of them. Sexual secrets are no longer kept by the media as nothing is secret anymore with social media and the technologies that abound. Oh for the good old days.

WJ

Hey Tony,

What’s the big deal? I tire of the hypocrisy. So a man has a fling and it’s exposed, that’s been going on for centuries and will never stop. All that’s new is that the media blows up everything and shoves it in our faces. We open our mouths and gobble it up.

So many men and women do not get caught and take their secret to the grave. So many jackets, so much bun. And more people would do it if they knew that they could get away with it. Others just don’t give a damn. Anyway, stolen love is sweeter they say.

Douglas

I got this poem from a woman, so I’ll share a few lines:

Before I lay me down to sleep

I pray for a man who’s not a creep

One who’s handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long

And thinks before he speaks.

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s rich and self-employed,

And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.

A man who loves to cook and clean

Oh send a king to make me a queen.

Then a man sent me this poem.

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,And loves to send me fishing and drinking.This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t give a crap.

Ah boy, poems for sensitive souls they call them. And as you can see, both the male and the female perspectives are different, and the priorities are just not the same. Is this a genetic predisposition, or is it acquired as we are exposed to different gender environments? Whatever the origin, the fact remains, the priority of a man is vastly different from that of a woman, and this has caused much friction, fractured fissures, in families.

Money is a common denominator that most people seem to relish. They love to feel it as it comes and goes between their fingers. But what it goes for is usually a cause of many arguments or at least differences of opinion when men and women are involved. Women always think that men spend on frivolous things, while men tend to think that women spend too much… period. In fact, fiscal priority is one of the leading causes of marital discord as he and she just can’t agree on how it should be spent.

A woman always seems to want to spend money on the house, and no matter how much stuff is in it, she wants to buy more, and find space to put it too. It’s an art. This is universal, and even the Dagwood and Blondie, or Bringing up Father with Maggie and Jiggs comic strips always poke fun at these upside down priorities between men and women.

Her priority is to shop for the house, buy another sofa, change the fridge, upgrade the stove, remodel the kitchen and the bathroom… or better yet, spend more money on clothes for the children. As far as the man is concerned, the house is fine, the 10-year-old sofa is just worked in, so why bother to change it? Plus, nothing is wrong with the fridge. His mom passed it down to him and it’s working just fine.

As for the kitchen, bathroom and clothes for the children, those can wait until next year. What he would love to do though, is to check out that new 90-inch LED TV at PriceSmart for 1.3 million bucks. Yes folks, it’s real, and I saw it myself. Well maybe that size TV is a tad extreme, but there’s also an 80-inch model for a little under $600,000. The average man would love to invest in that type of essential commodity, a nice flat screen giant TV instead of refurbishing the kitchen any day.

The kitchen works fine, but she wants to spend thousands on it. Nothing is wrong with the Zenith TV but he wants to buy a 60-inch HD plasma from ATL. I actually witnessed a married friend of mine almost shed tears as he argued with his wife to buy their first flat screen TV. She saw no logic in his argument and he could not breach her iron clad defence.

The siege lasted for months, until he colluded with the salesperson to bring the TV to his house when his wife wasn’t there, and leave it with a note about a payment plan. The wife was furious when she came home and demanded that it be sent back, but lack of transport seemed to save the day and the flat screen stayed. She was not amused, for as far as she is concerned, a TV is not a priority, but the kitchen is.

It goes beyond purchasing different things that are poles apart though, as both genders often fail to appreciate the priorities of the other. Let’s take leisure time. As far as women are concerned, there should be no leisure time. Her priority is to use that time to optimise her efficiency and get things done. Meanwhile, the man sees those few hours of down time on the weekend as the opportune time to do absolutely nothing. A fact that women abhor.

“There you are, on the couch, watching sports, when there’s so much to do. Come, let’s go to the supermarket.” Supermarket shopping or shopping in general brings so much joy to women, but is anathema to men. “Shopping again, but didn’t we go just last week… the food finish already?” Some men just don’t get it, as they want food to be in the house, but hate to spend on it or go and get it.

Many guys say that it’s not the spending per se, but the fact that women take so much pleasure in going to the supermarket. That priority in a woman’s life is perhaps number one on her charts. While for a man, he almost couldn’t care less. One of my friends even told me that as far as he’s concerned, he could live on bread and sardines and bun and cheese as long as he has his big screen TV to watch sports. But his wife sees shopping as her priority, so guess who wins that game?

Visit single women and see where the emphasis is. Then visit a single man and see the contrast. Now put them together and see how the balance of power exhibits itself as the man’s favourite stuff gets thrown out. Hers takes its place and that’s just the way it is from the dawn of time, for women’s priorities supersede a man’s every time. Even tough, rough, Hagar the Horrible said so in his cartoon. “When I was younger I thought the world revolved around me. Then I got married and learnt it revolved around my wife.”

Priority goes even into the bedroom, as it’s a man’s priority to get laid, and often, with as little effort or fanfare. While for a woman, it’s not her number one priority. A nice evening out or even a stint of housework will get her pheromones bubbling.

So in the long run, it’s really what’s most important to you, what you choose to do, even as you ignore the rest. It boils down to a matter of choice and we have to accept it. Our priorities are different, but thank heaven for that. Who is more important to you, the furniture truck arriving, or the cable guy? More time.

seido1@hotmail.com 

Footnote: The question of corporal punishment is once again in the news. To flog or not to flog, that is the question. Those against it say that it’s barbaric, while those for it say that the rod should not be spared, but should be applied or the child will be spoilt. Most misquote the Bible when they say so. I have mixed feelings. I don’t believe that girls should be flogged, and boys should not be whipped for failing grades.

But when a boy is downright rude and destructive, then a caning done by a dean of discipline might make him aware that there are consequences for actions. Rapists should be flogged. Inhumane and barbaric, you say? So what is rape, a pleasure cruise?

My mother loved me dearly, and yet she flogged me when I got out of hand. God bless her soul, I deserved every lick that I got.

Now there is no accountability and children do as they please. They are out of control, even as the intellectuals pontificate. I hope they can defend themselves with their pontification.