Affection is a coal

That must be cool’d,

Else suffer’d

It will set the heart on fire.

— Shakespeare, Venus and Adonis, Stanza 65

AFFECTION must be cooled, or else it will burn, consume, devour, sear you until you can’t stand it anymore. You will be destroyed. Of course, affection is only the prelude to other delights, and we all know what that is… sex.

Oh yes, it’s almost pointless to go through all the motions of affection, the kissing, the petting, the touching and fondling, if it doesn’t take you anywhere. The journey may be great yes, but the destination is even more spectacular. Come now ladies, you can’t just lead the man through the stages of romance then just as he’s about to walk through the gates of Nirvana, you slam the portals shut and say no to sex.

If you lead the horse to water, you must make him drink. Saying no at that point can be a most cruel thing to do, and as Shakespeare said, “That was the most unkindest cut of all.”

And yet, there are times when people should say no to sex, and not simply plunge headlong into an experience that may do them more harm than good. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread, they say. Most women will agree, even as the men abhor the idea, saying, “Man, I don’t have any brakes, so even if I hear no, I can’t stop.” Say no to sex is what I’ll be indulging in today, right after these responses to ‘Women’s weapons’.

Hail up Teerob,

Regarding women’s weapons, I find this thing about women withholding sex from the men as a form of punishment a real joke on most of the women. In my circle, all that most of my male friends do is, whenever wifey decides to so act, they simply go get it on the outside, and that’s the easiest thing to get, especially with so many young women floating around out there. So when women decide to ‘lock it up’ tell them that the last laugh may well be on them.

EGN

Tony,

They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Withholding sex is a bad enough weapon, but when the woman withholds food, it’s like plunging a knife through the heart. For a woman to resort to such extreme measures, the man must have committed the ultimate sin, and he might as well give up and surrender to her and be prepared to be a prisoner of war for a long time.

Wickham

Anthony,

The ultimate weapon that a woman has is her indifference. She just does not care whether the man lives or dies, comes or goes, and treats him as if he doesn’t exist. She shows no feelings at all, not of love or hate, or dislike, but just does not care. There is nothing worse than feeling the effects of this weapon.

Dennis

There have been so many campaigns with the word ‘no’ before them, that the word has taken on a very significant importance. Say no to drugs, say no to racism, say no to abuse, say no to corruption. So why not have a campaign that says no to sex?

Now you’re going to say that I’ve gone daft, taken leave of my senses, or joined some religious cult that promotes celibacy. Far from it. The fact is, sex is perhaps the most powerful and pleasurable act known to mankind, and we certainly indulge in it every chance we get.

Jamaica is a very sexually oriented country, followed only by our naiveté, ignorance and hypocrisy about it. But there are times when we should simply say no. That goes for both men and women, for contrary to popular belief, men do have more than a modicum of pride hidden beneath their rough, tough exterior. So all you wives reading this, don’t take it as an endorsement for saying no to your husbands, men can say no too. But when should a man say no? Here’s a little story.

This guy was walking through the park when this frog said to him, “Psst, hey Dennis, buy Poochie Loo in the fifth race.” So the guy did and the horse won. Afterwards the frog said, “Now buy the numbers 4, 14, 10, 9, 6 in the lotto.” Sure enough those numbers came up and the guy won again.

“Now go play golf and use the nine iron on the sixth hole.” The guy did that and shot a hole in one. “Now let’s go to a hotel room and I’ll give you another wish,” said the frog. That they did, and the guy’s wish was that the frog turn into a beautiful young woman. Lo and behold, the frog turned into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl, and the man did not hesitate to make love to her. And that was the story that he told the cops and the judge in his defence of being caught with a minor.

The point is, even though he was tempted, he should have said no to sex, and save himself from a prison term. So many men have no such will power and cannot say no to female pleasure, regardless of how young she may be. Sadly, the incidence of men having sex with minors is far more than it should be, as neither the young girl nor the man knows the meaning of the word no. The consequences can be dire.

There has actually been a notion that athletes should not indulge in sexual activities the night before a big sporting event. The belief is that sex will sap his energy and make him weak the next day. Maybe that was the genesis of the say no to sex campaign.

Mercifully, there has been no merit given to that belief, and in modern times, one feature of the Olympics is the dissemination of thousands of condoms in the Olympic village. So much for that say no to sex campaign.

On a personal note, back in the day when I used to compete in karate tournaments, I made a special point to indulge in you know what, the night before the tournament. I would usually win the next day, but on the nights when nothing went on, I would lose the next day. My theory was put to the test on many occasions and I have the trophies to prove it. So the song Vitamin S may have some merit after all. So it’s not every time that you should say no to sex.

Sometimes if more men said no, then the women would want them even more, saying, “My, my, what a gentleman of honour and integrity. I will never let him go.” See, the word no can be used as a ploy of seduction too, but most men don’t know this. It’s all about timing, my son, timing.

But women do have a right to say no to sex, a fact that most men fail to grasp. So even if she leads the man by the nose to the bedroom, takes off all her clothes and then his, kisses him all over; she still has the right to say no just at the point of entry. In fact, in the USA and perhaps here too, even if they start the act, she has the right to say stop. If not, it’s rape.

I know, it can be cruel, but the law is the law and women do have their rights. Hmm, but I wonder though, what if the man says no after they start, is that a crime also? I’m sure he would be laughed out of court. “Mr Brown, are you saying that you were making love to this beautiful woman and decided to stop? Ten days for gross stupidity.”

Now you may call the woman a tease, and maybe she is, but the fact remains, no means no. But why should a woman do that, why would she bring a man to a boil and then throw cold water on his affections? Remember, the above quote did speak of affections being a coal that must be cooled. Some say that the reason may be that some women are just plain cruel, and love to see men suffer. Others may say that women change their minds faster than a chameleon changes its colour. Who knows why they do what they do, but the fact remains, they have the right to do it.

What’s ironic is that men do not have the luxury of saying no to sex with a consenting woman of legal age. If he does all the prelude stuff of foreplay, and then when she’s good and ready, he stops and says, ‘No, no, I must not do this, say no to sex,’ that man’s reputation would be ruined, for that woman would spread the word that he’s gay, worthless, less than a man, impotent and other names not fit for publication. It just isn’t fair. Women can draw brakes, but men have no such option.

You may not believe it, but some men do have a conscience, and after seducing his best friend’s wife, he may have a shred of decency and honour left in him and say, “No, I cannot go through with this, I must say no.” Can you believe that folks? Well if you do, you can believe the story about the talking frog that I mentioned earlier.

The statistics that show the alarming figures of teenage pregnancy are more than frightening. Can you imagine how low those figures would be if the campaign of say no to sex was adopted? It’s not as farfetched as you may think, for some countries do use abstinence as a means of not only curtailing population growth, but decreasing the incidences of sexually transmitted diseases. Frankly I doubt if that could happen here, for some young girls just can’t say no, and some men will not take no for an answer. But we can still dream, can’t we?

Sex, or should I say the pursuit of it, is the leading cause of most of mankind’s ills. It’s even the leading cause of marital strife too, right behind money worries. But if you’re lucky, your wife will never say no, then you’ll be a happy man. If not, you’ll have to just respect her wishes when she says no to sex. Poor you. That’s why I always have a smile on my face, for I’m a very happy man. More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: I represented my wife at traffic court to sort out a ticket recently, and what an experience it was. It was theatre at its best and would be laughable if it wasn’t so serious. Well, we did get plenty jokes nevertheless. I could not believe the number of people who were ticketed for driving without having a driver’s licence, which also means no insurance, so if they hit your vehicle, your corner is dark. It was frightening.

I saw a man who drove his father’s Benz, and a man who was transporting his co-workers in a car that he owned for years. They had no licence. The judge said, “Imagine, you buy the car years ago, yet never went for a driver’s licence. It’s the wrong way around.” The number of those cases boggled the mind, and now I can understand why they flee from the police when asked to stop.