“This is my father’s choice,

O what a world of vile ill favour’d faults

Looks handsome in three hundred pound a year!”

Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor, III, 4

BACK in those days, three hundred pounds a year was more than a tidy sum, and a man, even with ill-favoured faults, looked really handsome if he was earning that amount. That woman’s father chose a suitor for her, and she wasn’t too pleased, but his monetary worth sort of smoothed things over.

Money does have a way of equalising people. It makes ugly men handsome,

big-belly men look slim, it makes smelly, boorish, uncouth men appear to be bathed in lilac and have the manners of proper gentlemen. Money makes short men seem tall, and ignorant men appear educated and smart. It even makes cruel men seem kind and benevolent.

Money equalises people as it smoothes out the wrinkles of poverty and uplifts the lives of many. This fact is not lost on women, and that’s why they have a professional bias when it comes to choosing men.

Now, you’re going to question what I have to say as, for some reason, women do not like to admit that they only want a certain type of man, not only for themselves, but for their daughters too.

Outwardly they may not admit it, but secretly, every women has a professional bias when it comes to choosing a partner, and that’s what we’ll be exploring today — right after these harassing, or admiring, responses to Harassment or Admiration.

Hi Tony,

As a young, attractive woman, I love to be admired and secretly enjoy it when men call to me on the street. I dread the day when I grow old, lose my looks and no one admires me anymore. There is a line however, and I can’t ever appreciate the lewd, vulgar, sexual comments that some men make. I try to ignore most of them and put it down to ignorance on their part. But when even my educated co-workers make them, I find it doubly offensive, for I think that they should know better. I do enjoy being admired though.

Alicia

Hey Teerob,

An admirer who compliments the opposite sex may not necessarily be a harasser if it is done in a quiet, respectful way. It becomes harassment when the action is continuous, boorish or disrespectful. If the admirer then touches the other without consent, it becomes a more serious charge of assault. It matters not that the woman dresses provocatively. One can always stare in admiration without resorting to harassment. My wife jokingly complains of me harassing her all the time, but does not resist or object. If I inform my doctor that I do not wish to be touched where the sun doesn’t shine, and he does, that’s assault in this neck of the woods.

Tyrone

London, UK

Lawyer, doctor, Indian chief. That’s whom every woman seeks as a partner, lover or husband. Mothers tell their daughters, “Make sure you marry somebody of substance and not any worthless man.” That means a man of a certain profession, and thus began the genesis of the professional bias. Even schools used to have this bias, as they put more emphasis on the traditional grammar subjects as opposed to the technical subjects. Everybody wanted a bank or office job but shied away from woodwork or metalwork.

Up to recently a lady friend of my wife asked me if I couldn’t find a nice, decent man for her. “I want a man who will love me and most of all, be faithful,” she said. She then asked if I didn’t have any brothers, which I deduced to mean that I fit the bill, but since I was already taken, then my clone would do. I get that a lot.

When I told her that I knew I nice taximan who would fulfil all her requirements, I saw her jaw drop and her countenance change. “Er, I was thinking of someone a bit more lofty, of a higher calling,” she explained. And therein lies the problem, for in her eyes and mind, a taximan would not be suitable for her, even though he may be honourable, noble, faithful, and would love her forever. He wouldn’t even get a foot in her door, wouldn’t have a chance of a snowball in a sauna. Professional bias in full flight.

I have heard of a man who was courting a young woman, only to be chased away by an irate mother who berated him for daring to darken her doorstep. “How dare you try to talk to my good, good teacher daughter, you look like a bullfrog, shoo, get away.” That’s a true story, folks. Professional bias brings out the beast in some women, and their purple prose speweth venom.

But what are the choice professions that ladies set their sights on? The number one, I’m told, is the doctor. It’s every woman’s dream to marry a doctor, and many medical practitioners can have their pick of women, I’m told. In fact, many women may not even care if he has bad bedside manners, as long as she’s the wife of a doctor.

Doctors have told me though, that they prefer to marry female doctors or nurses, as only they would understand and appreciate the rigours and time consumption of the medical field. So any woman who has that bias had better attend medical or nursing school.

Pilots are also high on the list of professions that many women lean towards. Some just love the uniform, while others dream of the free trips as they fly away to far off places to go shopping. The prestige and glamour go hand in hand.

But a woman has to be trusting if she marries a pilot, for they are often likened to modern-day sailors. And you know what they say about sailors and any port, or girl, in a storm. Plus there is a reason why where they work is called a cockpit. Still, there are pilots and there are pilots, and I know some decent, faithful ones.

Somehow this professional bias does not lean towards members of the constabulary, and women have vocalised, “No sah, I don’t want no policeman husband, me too fraid.” I naturally assumed that they meant that it was the dangers of the job that turned them off.

Now members of the clergy hold a special place for some women, and being the wife of a preacher does have a certain prestige. But even though some women seek such a man, others are turned off by the constant goodness and refusal to sin. Most women do like a little ‘cowboy’ in their men. Plus, a preacher is always catering to others, always giving advice, comfort and solace to strangers, much to the neglect of his own household. Even though they say, “Parson christen him pickney first”, many wives feel neglected. It takes a special woman to be a preacher’s wife.

Some women have a bias towards schoolteachers, although not so much anymore as in the past, when that profession was more respected. He has to be at least a principal, though. It’s the same for policemen, if they do choose one, he has to be at least a senior superintendent and not a corporal.

So, because of this professional bias, thousands of men have a hard time getting a so-called quality woman. No taximan, no conductor, no bus driver, no prison warder, no cesspool emptier, no security guard, no garbageman has a chance with them. These women with this professional bias would rather be alone than change their ideals. It’s only men at the top of the pyramid who they desire and all others will fall short.

The lofty professions bring a certain prestige, money and power, and women are drawn to power, which they say is the greatest aphrodisiac. How a women can sleep with an old, portly, ugly man just because he’s of a certain profession is a mystery to some people. Men of a certain profession have no problem getting choice women, and when I gave my theory why, and equated my findings to another type of woman, I was roundly admonished by some females who took great offence. “What are you equating us with?” I repeated my findings that no young, pretty woman marries an old, poor man, and I stick by it. Women are practical, but they do have a professional bias. Now what bias does a man have? More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote

Did you know that this month of August has five Fridays, five Saturdays and five Sundays? This will not occur again for the next eight hundred years, they say. If you’re weekly paid, be happy. If you’re weakly paid, it doesn’t count.

Once again I marvel at the numerous reports of people leaving their laptops in their vehicles and having them stolen. “They broke into my car and stole my laptop with all my class notes.” Boo hoo. I have no sympathy. When will people learn? It’s a constant cry on the radio call-in shows. A young lady suffered this fate, and when I asked her why she left her laptop in her car, she tersely explained that she couldn’t very well lug it around with her. She was almost angry at me for asking. Clearly she prefers to have her car window broken and her laptop stolen. I don’t get it. I must have been born on a different planet.