Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

— Shakespeare,Macbeth, V, 5Ah tomorrow, tomorrow, that day that never comes, for when it does arrive, another tomorrow quickly takes its place. “Tomorrow, tomorrow, is only a day away,” go the words of the song.So we make our plans, not resolutions to change anything, but make demands of others from whom we expect so much. We expect them to treat us kindly, we expect them to be generous and thoughtful, we expect them to achieve much, and we expect them to care for us.But what do we give in return after expecting so much from other people? Are we willing to give, and ask nothing in return or are we simply filled with great expectations?We’ll find out more right after these expected responses to ‘Red flag’.I saw the red flags but ignored them. I got robbed by a wife, her sister and their mother. It’s just the way the world is.Most often, red flags are displayed from the get-go because the people waving them don’t even realise that they are doing so. It’s just their nature, their true self coming across. The folks getting the flags waved in their faces sometimes think it’s cute and feel that the ‘waver’ is so real, not pretentious, and is a short-term attraction. For some, the red flag is not displayed until well into the relationship, as they show their good side to impress the victim. But this can’t last long, as the flag eventually comes out, and then it’s too late.Charles Dickens wrote/published the book,Great Expectations in 1860. But the theme is still relevant even now in this modern era. People are still filled with hopes and dreams of a better future, not only for themselves, but also for their loved ones.For many people though, they only have great expectations for themselves, as they only look out for number one, el numero uno, me, myself and I. For them, their mantra is, “So what’s in it for me?”I maintain that women always seem to have great expectations, not only from men, but especially of relationships. It’s not that men don’t have these expectations too, but males seem to be a bit more realistic, practical, objective. Or is it that men have a lower bar than women? Whatever the reason, men put a different spin on expectations and certainly have a different time frame on what to expect. It’s not what you expect, but when you expect it that makes the difference.Some women will just meet a man and expect him to be all things to her instantly. After a few dates, he’s referred to as, “My man.” He now has to be her provider. Oh yes, that is the magic word that tops the list of her expectations. Why do some women think that men were placed on the Earth to provide for them while they give nothing in return? This has been told to me not only by men who have felt the pressure of being expected to do too much, but also by women who have no reservations or shame in demanding provisions from men who they just met. I heard a sad case of this man who called Dear Pastor lamenting how he really liked this woman in his district, but she demanded so much of him financially, then eventually left him for another man who could give her more. It brought tears to my eyes when I heard the pain in the man’s voice.His case is not unique. I know of this woman in her 30s who’s dating this older man. After a few weeks of corresponding she asked him to help her to buy an SUV. She really expected him to finance the whole deal 100 per cent. Well, the man sent her US$500, which made her absolutely furious. “Imagine, I tolerate this old man and all he can send me is a measly $500,” she fumed. She expected so much from a man who she barely knew for a few weeks, and actually justified her expectations too.Some women really have this great expectation gene wired into their psyche and see nothing wrong with their demands. “Imagine, he wouldn’t even offer to pay my rent.” “But you just met him.” “Doesn’t matter, him name man.”Nothing is wrong with a man taking care of a woman, helping her, even supporting her in times of need… if she is his bona fide woman. But the era of the man simply minding woman just because she’s a woman is long gone. That’s why a man told me last week that he was now looking for a woman with brains and integrity, because all women already have vaginas. In other words, bring something different to the table. You can’t make these things up.Times have changed, and young men are finding it difficult to even support themselves or take on the burden of women with great expectations. I ask you as a parent, who would you prefer your young son to settle down with and marry a pretty woman who has nothing to offer except great expectations from him, or a nice, decent girl who will step side by side with him as a team? “Not even cable bill she want to pay, or light or phone bill,” is what I have heard from some of these poor guys. Happily, most of that type of woman leave those great expectations for older men, desperate and willing to buy love, and not for the younger guys. Her formula is, “The older the man, the greater the expectations.”Men have expectations too, but they are not all that great. Most men want a nice, decent woman who is willing to have sex with him on a regular basis for a long time. Men don’t demand much of women.I’m yet to meet a man who has great expectations that his woman must provide for him, take care of him, pay all his bills and basically support him. Well, there are a few men like that, worthless gigolos who may harbour such expectations, but I’m referring to the average man who’s looking for a life partner. “My only expectation is that she sleeps with me whenever I want it…and oh yes, not sleep with anybody else either.” Don’t take it lightly, but many men who are married for 10 years or more aren’t getting as much sex as they would like from their wives. They tell me. So that expectation should not be taken for granted.There are also men who have great expectations of themselves, as they run around with much younger women. They expect to perform as often and as lustily as they did when they were in their youth. Then parents have great expectations of their children too. Every John Crow wants its offspring to be a great eagle. Some parents will have a balanced outlook and know the potential or limitations of the child. But others really expect too much and drive the poor children to depression and despair. “Har pickney can’t even recite five times five table but she want him to become financial advisor.” Every child cannot be a doctor, lawyer, architect or engineer. Some kids are not programmed that way. And no, dem head not tuff. Maybe they are good at other non-academic endeavours. When I see how busy and how much money good plumbers make, I really have second thoughts about my professional path.These unrealistic great expectations from some parents often lead to the children becoming frustrated and ruined. Worse when they compare. “Look how Miss Simms son pass the Bar exam and all you can do is work at rum bar.” People are programmed to expect so much from others, but try not to make those expectations too great. You may be greatly disappointed, for as the actor Clint Eastwood said, “A man must know his limitations.” More time.seido1@hotmail.comI remember as a young man going to great lengths to suppress my libido and conceal any obvious signs of it, especially in public. Yet young men and teenagers are taking sexual enhancers in order to boost bedroom performance. What has gone wrong? Doctors say that boys as young as 15 are popping these pills with great regularity. Some have suffered medical misadventures. One doc says that by the time they reach 30, they are spent forces, finished, done.

To the last syllable of recorded time.

— Shakespeare,

Macbeth, V, 5

Well, here we are at the beginning of a new year, and with it come the hopes, dreams and plans for a better and brighter future. And no, this is not about those pointless and meaningless resolutions in which everyone gets caught up. Instead, this is about expectations of things that we will achieve tomorrow, for as the above quote says, tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day.

Ah tomorrow, tomorrow, that day that never comes, for when it does arrive, another tomorrow quickly takes its place. “Tomorrow, tomorrow, is only a day away,” go the words of the song.

So we make our plans, not resolutions to change anything, but make demands of others from whom we expect so much. We expect them to treat us kindly, we expect them to be generous and thoughtful, we expect them to achieve much, and we expect them to care for us.

But what do we give in return after expecting so much from other people? Are we willing to give, and ask nothing in return or are we simply filled with great expectations?

We’ll find out more right after these expected responses to ‘Red flag’.

Hi Tony,

I saw the red flags but ignored them. I got robbed by a wife, her sister and their mother. It’s just the way the world is.

Donovan

Hi Tony,

Most often, red flags are displayed from the get-go because the people waving them don’t even realise that they are doing so. It’s just their nature, their true self coming across. The folks getting the flags waved in their faces sometimes think it’s cute and feel that the ‘waver’ is so real, not pretentious, and is a short-term attraction.

For some, the red flag is not displayed until well into the relationship, as they show their good side to impress the victim. But this can’t last long, as the flag eventually comes out, and then it’s too late.

Rudolf

Charles Dickens wrote/published the book,

Great Expectations in 1860. But the theme is still relevant even now in this modern era. People are still filled with hopes and dreams of a better future, not only for themselves, but also for their loved ones.

For many people though, they only have great expectations for themselves, as they only look out for number one, el numero uno, me, myself and I. For them, their mantra is, “So what’s in it for me?”

I maintain that women always seem to have great expectations, not only from men, but especially of relationships. It’s not that men don’t have these expectations too, but males seem to be a bit more realistic, practical, objective. Or is it that men have a lower bar than women?

Whatever the reason, men put a different spin on expectations and certainly have a different time frame on what to expect. It’s not what you expect, but when you expect it that makes the difference.

Some women will just meet a man and expect him to be all things to her instantly. After a few dates, he’s referred to as, “My man.” He now has to be her provider. Oh yes, that is the magic word that tops the list of her expectations. Why do some women think that men were placed on the Earth to provide for them while they give nothing in return?

This has been told to me not only by men who have felt the pressure of being expected to do too much, but also by women who have no reservations or shame in demanding provisions from men who they just met.

I heard a sad case of this man who called Dear Pastor lamenting how he really liked this woman in his district, but she demanded so much of him financially, then eventually left him for another man who could give her more. It brought tears to my eyes when I heard the pain in the man’s voice.

His case is not unique. I know of this woman in her 30s who’s dating this older man. After a few weeks of corresponding she asked him to help her to buy an SUV. She really expected him to finance the whole deal 100 per cent.

Well, the man sent her US$500, which made her absolutely furious. “Imagine, I tolerate this old man and all he can send me is a measly $500,” she fumed. She expected so much from a man who she barely knew for a few weeks, and actually justified her expectations too.

Some women really have this great expectation gene wired into their psyche and see nothing wrong with their demands. “Imagine, he wouldn’t even offer to pay my rent.”

“But you just met him.”

“Doesn’t matter, him name man.”

Nothing is wrong with a man taking care of a woman, helping her, even supporting her in times of need… if she is his bona fide woman. But the era of the man simply minding woman just because she’s a woman is long gone.

That’s why a man told me last week that he was now looking for a woman with brains and integrity, because all women already have vaginas. In other words, bring something different to the table. You can’t make these things up.

Times have changed, and young men are finding it difficult to even support themselves or take on the burden of women with great expectations. I ask you as a parent, who would you prefer your young son to settle down with and marry a pretty woman who has nothing to offer except great expectations from him, or a nice, decent girl who will step side by side with him as a team?

“Not even cable bill she want to pay, or light or phone bill,” is what I have heard from some of these poor guys. Happily, most of that type of woman leave those great expectations for older men, desperate and willing to buy love, and not for the younger guys. Her formula is, “The older the man, the greater the expectations.”

Men have expectations too, but they are not all that great. Most men want a nice, decent woman who is willing to have sex with him on a regular basis for a long time. Men don’t demand much of women.

I’m yet to meet a man who has great expectations that his woman must provide for him, take care of him, pay all his bills and basically support him. Well, there are a few men like that, worthless gigolos who may harbour such expectations, but I’m referring to the average man who’s looking for a life partner.

“My only expectation is that she sleeps with me whenever I want it…and oh yes, not sleep with anybody else either.” Don’t take it lightly, but many men who are married for 10 years or more aren’t getting as much sex as they would like from their wives. They tell me. So that expectation should not be taken for granted.

There are also men who have great expectations of themselves, as they run around with much younger women. They expect to perform as often and as lustily as they did when they were in their youth.

Then parents have great expectations of their children too. Every John Crow wants its offspring to be a great eagle. Some parents will have a balanced outlook and know the potential or limitations of the child. But others really expect too much and drive the poor children to depression and despair. “Har pickney can’t even recite five times five table but she want him to become financial advisor.”

Every child cannot be a doctor, lawyer, architect or engineer. Some kids are not programmed that way. And no, dem head not tuff. Maybe they are good at other non-academic endeavours. When I see how busy and how much money good plumbers make, I really have second thoughts about my professional path.

These unrealistic great expectations from some parents often lead to the children becoming frustrated and ruined. Worse when they compare. “Look how Miss Simms son pass the Bar exam and all you can do is work at rum bar.”

People are programmed to expect so much from others, but try not to make those expectations too great. You may be greatly disappointed, for as the actor Clint Eastwood said, “A man must know his limitations.” More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: There is a growing trend that some doctors are concerned about — the fact that many young men are taking sexual performance- enhancing products such as Viagra and Cialis. Those drugs were designed for older men with erectile problems, not young men in their prime.

I remember as a young man going to great lengths to suppress my libido and conceal any obvious signs of it, especially in public. Yet young men and teenagers are taking sexual enhancers in order to boost bedroom performance. What has gone wrong?

Doctors say that boys as young as 15 are popping these pills with great regularity. Some have suffered medical misadventures. One doc says that by the time they reach 30, they are spent forces, finished, done.