TWENTY years ago Esmin Davis-Spence received news her only child – 26-year-old Paul Mattock – lost his life in a motor vehicle crash. The grief, though subsided, still tugs at her heart.

“I was at the hairdresser when I saw my husband walking towards me, as if something was wrong; as if he was taking forever to make about 10 steps to come to me,” recalled Davis-Spence.

“He said Paul was in a crash, and my immediate response was: ‘Which hospital is he in?”

But nothing could prepare her for his answer.

“He then said to me, ‘He didn’t make it.’ At that point it sounded as if he was speaking French; I couldn’t understand anything, I went into an immediate shock and I felt like I was in a dream.”

Davis-Spence recalled how her son, a University of the West Indies, Mona campus graduate and gym fanatic with a passion for life, was killed.

About 5:30 am on October 29, 1996, while driving his motor vehicle along Red Hills Road and just as he was to come on to Constant Spring Road, a public-passenger bus which was overtaking slammed into the back of his car, pinning him against a wall. He was wearing his seatbeat.

The driver of the bus later admitted to 39 breaches of the Road Traffic Act, including five breaches for disobeying the red light, not stopping at bus stops, disobeying continuous white line, dangerous driving, and two breaches of careless driving.

Jamaica will commemorate World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims (WDR) on Sunday, bringing into focus the fact that road deaths and injuries are sudden, violent and traumatic events.

WDR is commemorated on the third Sunday of November each year, to remember the millions killed and injured globally on the world’s roads, with families, friends and all those affected.

“Motor vehicle crashes have long-lasting and often permanent effects on friends and family members,” said Paula Fletcher, executive chairman of the National Road Safety Council (NRSC).

“Most of these crashes can be prevented by exercising caution and keeping in mind that it is our responsibility as individuals to protect ourselves by obeying the rules of the road, and drivers must drive defensively, anticipating what can go wrong on the road and using avoidance tactics. Such tactics and practices include, and can be as simple as, always using safety devices, putting your cellphone away (drivers as well as pedestrians), driving within the speed limit, obeying traffic signals and signs and not drinking and driving.”

“Road safety is about keeping families together and each of us need to play a role. Ensure that your vehicle is licensed and properly serviced, adhere to the road code, and look out for each other,” Fletcher continued.

Davis-Spence still has difficult dealing with her loss, but contended it is important to have a support system in place immediately, as that is what provided her coping and survival mechanisms.

“In my case, my husband called my medical doctor who is also a family friend and my pastor Rev J Oliver Daley, so I had immediate support getting medication to keep me calm and having my pastor stand by me.”

Davis-Spence said Paul’s friends still check on her on the anniversary of his death. “One never truly recovers from the loss of a loved one,” she said.

“It is a journey. The difference between then and now is what I have done along the journey that has put me in a position to look back and to have a testimony. Over the 20 years I have put things in place to honour his name: an endowment fund to assist welfare activities at his alma mater Ardenne High School, donation of his books to the University of the West Indies, donation to the Jamaica Society for the Blind, and the Kingston YMCA.”

She is imploring drivers of large units, specifically buses, to be mindful of other road users.

“The buses and trucks are not weapons, and the drivers should not use them as a tool to intimidate and put others in danger. Take your time. You may be reckless and endanger the life of a breadwinner, a mother, a father, a daughter or a son; be careful out there,” she said.