‘Tis my vocation, Hal;

‘Tis no sin for a man

To labour in his vocation.

– Shakespeare, 1 Henry, IV, 2

AND guess what, his vocation is stealing, scamming, conning people out of their possession. He just can’t help himself. And not only that, he justifies his vocation too, saying that there’s no sin in a man labouring in his vocation.

A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, and he’s good at what he does too — conning people.

A few weeks ago I wrote that crime pays, and I got some very interesting feedback. But there is crime and there is crime, for some are violent, while others are smooth.

Sometimes it’s so silky smooth that you have to give the con man some credit for conjuring such a scheme of trickery. “Me say, the man story was so good that I had to give him something for his creativity.”

Conning people out of their cash and possessions has been around for a very long time.

There have been stories of people buying the Brooklyn Bridge in New York, and closer home, people here have been known to buy Race Course, also known as St Willliam Grant Park.

Oh yes, gullible people fresh from the rural areas have been known to purchase prime real estate in the form of the National Stadium or Hope Gardens; conned out of their cash by men who are experts at their game.

We’ll see the art of the con, right after these responses to ‘Crime Pays’.

Hi Tony,

Most petty crimes are committed because of the lack of consequences, but criminals for the most part lack morality, sense of right from wrong, ability to value of human life, and despise hard work. Some criminals find it easier to steal than to do an honest day’s work, while others are forced to steal to survive. Murderers, proven guilty without the shadow of any doubt, should forfeit their own lives. In some jurisdictions, crime pays because the police are ‘handcuffed’ from doing their rightful duty, the justice system is too weak, and judges are too lenient. We need to get tough on crime.

Jez

Hey Tony,

That line you wrote saying that if crime didn’t pay so many people wouldn’t do it, is so true. The only people who are made to pay any penalties are the law-abiding victims of crime. Criminals laugh as the authorities talk and talk and talk. Criminals have all kinds of rights, but we have none. Let the police tell you how many gunmen out on bail commit murder again.

Nuff said.

Megan

Very few movies are as entertaining as movies about rich people or organisations being conned. The Sting, which is perhaps one of the best con movies ever made, springs to mind. It showed how much planning, guile, and deceit goes into pulling off a successful con. Usually the victims are criminals themselves, rich through ill-gotten gain, or organisations that have ripped people off over the years, and now deserve some payback. The Oceans Eleven series was great too.

There is some sense of justice there and as, the old Jamaican saying goes, ‘Thief from thief, God laugh.’ But life does imitate art, and so many people in real life get conned or scammed every day. Usually, it’s as a result of greed, with people expecting lots of returns without putting in anything to create that wealth.

If you research one of the greatest con men of all time, the Italian Carlo Ponzi, you’ll see the art of the con in all its glory. Ponzi promised the world and a few people benefited, but most lost everything. He was so good at his game that they named a scam after him, ergo, the Ponzi Scheme.

It shows up every few years under different names and orchestrated by different people, and naturally, many Jamaicans have been drawn into these schemes, conned out of their money, as they expected extraordinary returns for no effort at all.

How in heaven’s name could an investment pay out 120 per cent per annum? It defies all fiscal and fiduciary logic. But greed is blinding. They got conned and are blaming everyone but their naïve, greedy selves.

But Ponzi schemes aren’t the only game in town. I’m sure many of you have received e-mails from people in Nigeria or some other far off country, who want to donate to you millions of dollars, all because they inherited large sums of money and wish to share their good fortune with you. How wonderful, how benevolent.

Naturally, there are people who fall for these cons, or the con artists wouldn’t keep on doing it. They throw out their bait and wait for a nibble. “Hello dearest friend, my name is Fatima and I have inherited 60 million dollars from my father’s estate. There is a freeze on the account, so I have to get the money out of the country under a different name. Give me your bank details and I will send the funds to you.”

P T Barnum, the great American circus showman said, “There’s a sucker born every minute,” and of course we do know that ‘a fool and his money are soon parted’.

We hear stories of people conned out of their savings by strangers who they meet outside the bank. “Lady, my account is dormant and the bank won’t allow me to deposit this cheque for $100,000. Just lodge it to your account, withdraw $80,000 for me and keep the balance for your services. My cheque should clear within three days.”

That con has caught people all the time, and I have to shake my head in disbelief whenever I hear reports of it being done. Of course, that man’s cheque is worthless, and the person is conned out of their savings. Why? Ignorance, stupidity, and greed. Those traits are the friends of the conman, and he can’t exist without them.

That’s why they say, if it looks too good to be true, then it usually is. Which brings me to the biggest con of all to grace our shores in decades, the lottery scam. That con has garnered millions of US dollars annually, and made many Jamaicans filthy rich.

It’s so huge that documentaries have been made about it, both foreign and local, with the award-winning Scammed produced by TVJ, getting much acclaim. But how can so many people get conned out of their life savings, houses, and other worldly possessions on such a large scale?

It’s quite simple really. The con artists are masters of their game and, as the above Shakespeare quote said, ‘There’s no sin in being good at my vocation.”

Those con men and women are so slick, so svelte, so smooth, so skilful, they could filch fandangles from ferrets, plus take milk out of your Milo without you knowing it. Despite this, some people still say, “No sah, that cudden catch me.” Perhaps they’re right.

But just picture that poor, not financially poor, but lonely old lady living all by herself in rural USA, with nothing to do but watch soap operas. This person calls her up, befriends her, wishes her a happy birthday, drops some familiar names to her, then tells her that she’s won millions in the lottery.

She didn’t buy a ticket, you may say, but the con artist explains that her name was picked randomly from the grocery chain where she has shopped for years. All she has to do now is send a couple of thousand dollars to process her winnings. She sends it. Then, to sweeten the pot, the con/scammer sends her a gift and a cheque for a thousand dollars to keep the pot bubbling. Usually it’s a bad cheque, but he can explain that away.

He then asks for five thousand more to expedite the process, which the victim sends. He may then send back a thousand or so, to keep the flames burning, but asks her to send 20 thousand to close the deal. This continues for a while until the victim is drained of all her cash.

Some have sunk into deep depression, while others have committed suicide. It’s devastating to the victim and any family that they may have. That’s why the FBI has stepped in, extraditing con artists when they catch them. The last batch had a private plane sent for them and got a free ride to the USA.

There are so many ways that people are conned — by the Three Card Man, Crown and Anchor man (remember him?), Bait and Switch, swap black dog for monkey, given a six for a nine. But if you aren’t greedy you can’t be conned. More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: It’s said that a person who can read but doesn’t is the same as someone who cannot read. It’s also been said that if you want to hide something, put it in a book, for no one will find it. I find it so amazing that so many people do not read at all — not books, magazines, comics, not even the newspaper. I know many people who have not looked at a newspaper in years, yet they have opinions about journalists and news formats. “Oh, I don’t read the papers because the writers aren’t good.” But how do they know they aren’t good if they don’t read them? I am so happy when people tell me that they read my stuff. Whether they like it or not is irrelevant; the mere fact that they read the papers gives me joy. I’m often surprised by who too.