She laughs at all of his corny jokes, and when she talks, she always seems to have to touch his arm or his leg as if she cannot verbally express herself without having some form of physical contact with him. But it seems as if he is the only one that she is this ‘expressive’ with. Yup, his female best friend is as annoying as a pimple on your posterior.

Good boyfriend

This chick must also be omnipresent

because every time you discuss her, she appears. And even date night has become

friend night, as she is there on ‘Netflix and chill’ evening with the popcorn

and even occasionally chooses the movie. While you would love for her to go away,

he has already told you that she is his friend and she is not going anywhere.

So, what do you do? You either

have to suck it up and tolerate her presence or you say adios and find you a

new beau. The problem is that you really care about him, and he ticks off most

of the boxes on your ‘good boyfriend’ checklist. If only she would do like

Amelia Earhart and disappear! So, have you asked yourself why you find her

presence so threatening? What exactly is it about her that gives you the hives?

And why can’t you all just get along like Rodney King said?

Loves attention

Well, firstly, you know she is prettier than you, and her flawless skin is irksome beyond belief. While you struggle to find the ideal skincare regime to fight your acne, homegirl eats junk every day and still does not have a blemish. Jackass sey the world really nuh level! On top of it, she has the perfect coca-cola bottle shape, and we do not mean the two-litre kind either! She is fun size and petite while you have shoulders like an NFL linebacker, and if it was not for your sense of humour and great personality, you would wonder what exactly he sees in you.

You value your independence,

so you live on your own and pay your own bills, but little Miss Beauty Queen

comes from money and has no intention of leaving her parent’s Norbrook mansion

where she is still pampered and catered to. You drive a Nissan while her BMW with

the personalised plates is seen and admired a mile away, and she knows it and

loves the attention.

Different roles

While there is no

competition because you both have different roles in his life, at times you get

the distinct impression that she is waiting for you to ‘suck’ at this girlfriend

thing so that if you all break up she will be there to ‘comfort’ him.

Well, that is not happening any time soon. As the woman repeated in the movie The Help: “You are kind, you are smart and you are important”. A pretty face is a dime a dozen, and he asked you out, not her, so there must be something pretty special about you that caught his eye. Do not be threatened by a small waist and a flat tummy, as in time all of that will go because as Judge Judy loves to chirp: “Beauty fades but stupid last forever!”

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of BUZZ or its employees.