Dear Editor,

The issue of domestic violence, in particular violence against women, has always been a sore point that societies have to grapple with. The downs of relationships often attract more attention than the blissful ups with wine and roses.

Reality has shown that relationship issues can lead to serious injury or a departure from this life. Men have been blamed, for the most part, for being the aggressors and not being able to cope when the tide has turned. But, the learned person will tell us that moving on after a relationship break-up is not the easiest thing to do, and there is no telling what an individual’s reaction will be towards the break-up.

We are coming from a place where men were the primary breadwinners for the family; this was inculcated in them from childhood. The women, on the other hand, were raised to be dependent on their male counterparts to take care of them while they take care of the home. This has caused a sense of ownership to develop in men, and often women take the opportunity to capitalise on the fortunes that come their way from men who will facilitate such living. Women have been known to boast about being funded by multiple partners at the same time, with the men oblivious of each other. This adds to the terms evolving out of relationships such as “bups” and “sugar daddy” — a person spending heavily or an old man spending on a young girl. Men then feel outfoxed and used when their partners’ hidden actions are revealed and go through associated emotional trauma. It is evident that the hurt is real.

While the irrational and criminal actions of men in no way excuse them from blame, women should understand that their actions will evoke reactions.

Hezekan Bolton

h_e_z_e@hotmail.com