Those late news conferences and long speeches

After another notorious late start by Jamaica House in hosting last Monday’s news conference on the COVID-19 situation, and a few false strokes along the way, it appears that basic lessons are not being grasped.

The news conference began over an hour late, and it is time that those handling such matters tell our policymakers that not only should they stop being late, but also cut the length of their oral presentations.

Some will argue that the prime minister, or ministers, should speak for long on the subject because of the importance of it. My position is that once you host a news conference your announcements should be kept as short as possible. What happened last Monday was an exercise in how not to host a news conference.

Put the late start aside for now, the prime minister spoke for over an hour. That’s waaaay too long. And it emerged that the really important things that he disclosed, like the compulsory wearing of masks, came in the last 15 minutes of his presentation. Now is not a good time for long speeches. A news conference should not be a parliamentary presentation. It should be a platform that is used to share critical information in a short time, without losing your audience.

Before the prime minister spoke there was as perfect a presentation by Health and Wellness Minister Dr Chris Tufton. He walked to the lectern and got to the point in a matter of a few minutes … I’m sure less than five. That is what you want. You hit the population with the news without working up a sweat, and then take questions.

But while the prime minister’s address was important, it ran away. His handlers must coach him to be much tighter, like outstanding former Guyana and West Indies batsman Rohan Kanhai when he took on the great spinners of the world.

58 minutes of JPS torture

When you decide to change your writing routine you must always prepare for the unexpected. That’s the lesson that emerged from the decision by Jamaica’s largest electricity provider, the Jamaica Public Service, which carried out back-to-back acts of torture on successive nights in the Corporate Area, and elsewhere, last week.

The loss of power affected a large area of the Jamaican landscape last Monday. I was spared, but I should have known. It was too good to last. By Tuesday night the harsh reality plugged in. So the plan to take a nap around 10:00 pm, get up by 11:00 pm and start working again, was ruthlessly interrupted.

A seeming conversation by mosquitoes ended the journey of a sweet dream. The watch next to me had the time at 10:44 pm. The ‘strike’ by the fan, darkness, and utmost quiet alerted me to what seemed to be gangs of mosquitoes plotting to throw a black man into the dungeons of hell.

There seemed to be one mosquito gang trying to decide on attacking my left foot, another maybe focusing on the right, a third plotting to attack my gut, and yet a fourth maybe saying to themselves let’s go after that strange looking thing in the middle there.

While they deliberated and made the occasional dive to sample the anatomy, defence strategies had to be put in place, like lighting up a certain scented candle. A few silent prayers to a God, who has been handling so many requests from COVID-19 sufferers around the world, seemed to have cushioned the situation too.

Things were getting steamy. I was tossing and turning like never before. And then, finally, the fan started working again…wow! Freedom! Everywhere was lit. It was by then 11:42. Oh well, work goes on.

Cricketers should have their own rooms

Although we can’t play it now, we can still find time to reflect on a little cricket – that gentleman’s game now so frequently being uplifted by women.

Last week, former captain of the West Indies cricket team, Clive Lloyd suggested that Cricket West Indies should go back to the days when two players on tour shared a room, instead of the situation that obtains now whereby each international player has his own hotel room.

To Lloyd, it would allow the players to bond better, from which could emerge greater thinking and strategic approaches to handling the opposition. He believes that such a culture is missing now, as players are by themselves, and therefore the bond is not effective enough.

What Lloyd, who has won more matches for the West Indies as captain than any other, does not understand is that it was not Cricket West Indies (or the West Indies Cricket Board as it was called previously, and before that, the West Indies Cricket Board of Control) that stopped the practice of international players rooming. It was the governing body for global cricket, the International Cricket Council – the ICC.

The ICC in its thinking at the time felt that it would be a good way to reduce match fixing and spot fixing, which have tainted the game. That has been maintained and I’m sure the players don’t mind the additional privacy.

There is a time and place for everything, and players bonding with each other can be done far away from their hotel rooms.

I’m sure that Lloyd remembers when little Trinidadian batsman Gus Logie made his first tour of Australia in 1983, when he was paired to room with Barbadian fast bowler Joel “Big Bird” Garner. Logie turned up at practice each morning before the first Test match all tired and sleepy.

Lloyd, upon investigating, found that Garner’s snoring was affecting the man who was half his size and right away, another Trinidadian, Larry Gomes, volunteered to switch rooms – allowing Logie to stay elsewhere, and sharing the room with Garner.

On the first night of the change, Gomes went into the room earlier and waited on Garner to arrive, so that he could pull off a prank and attack Garner’s snoring. When the six-foot-eight speedster walked in about 30 minutes later, he was greeted by a big kiss on the cheek from Gomes, who promptly went to lie down. Poor Garner, now he had a problem. He refused to sleep, as he did not know what Gomes’ next move would be. Now he could not stay awake at training.

That’s another reason why players should have their own rooms.

A drive through St Catherine

What would the atmosphere be like last week in sections of St Catherine, the parish that was shut down by Prime Minister Holness the week before? One way to find out would be to take a trip through the parish capital, Spanish Town, and a few other areas.

Last Monday, leaving from downtown Kingston, the streets were light with traffic. The first checkpoint encountered was at White Marl, near Central Village, where both police and soldiers were at their professional best.

Another checkpoint at the turn-off to Salt River, which borders St Catherine and Clarendon produced no problem. So when it was time to return, it was the same routine at the same points. The security personnel were so well-mannered, which led me to wonder if it was genuine or not. So I came out of the vehicle near Salt River and there they were, dealing like civilised people with the motorists, discriminating against not one soul. At least there was relief, because I was wondering if it was because I was dressed like ‘puss’ in a style reflective of how my colleague Karl Angell would look while heading to his cousin’s wedding.

The experience was great, and served to further inject more respect from one citizen for the security forces.